Consequences of 19 year old with a 49 year old?

[Scribbleonapage]

Do you think that a 19 year old girl seeing a 49 year old man would have lasting negative consequences? Do you think it would be likely to affect the 19 yo even if she doesn't realise it? Is a 49 year old in this situation always in the wrong/a bad guy?

She hasn't just reached puberty. She's an ADULT!! Whether you like it or not.

This! I know the popular "feminist" line is that brains don't mature until past 25 but what would you suggest? Ban dating and sex until like 30?

GROOMING.

PREDATOR.

Maybe the "half your age plus 7" rule should be enshrined into law.

Another angle which I didn’t think about until I reached the wrong side of 30s is these older men going for younger women enables them to never properly grow up and be mature. A lot of 21 years olds would assume their partner in his late 40s/50s is mature and wouldn’t recognise immaturity as much as a woman their age would . I think because men know they can always end up with younger women ( and start or restart a family) it makes some of them more complacent about remaining immature or not working it out with their current partner. The oldest guy I dated in my 20s was 35 and I was 27. Back then I really couldn’t see a man age 50+ as anything more than a father figure. None of my friends were into older men. I find it so odd women under 35 dating men 2 or 3 decades older than them.

A lot of 21 years olds would assume their partner in his late 40s/50s is mature and wouldn’t recognise immaturity as much as a woman their age would

Yes and no. Yes, the older partner might be less mature than his peers. On the other hand, the younger partner may be more mature than her peers. However, there is no way to measure personal growth or lack of it.

And she has issues too. Works both ways you know.

I agree, @drpet49 , but the older person needs to be responsible and not let a relationship develop. We (I’m nearly 49) are a generation older, we have life and relationship experience and know that we should leave someone that young alone, even if they throw themselves at us. Not that I’ve had any teenagers throwing themselves at me lately. 🤣

Hahaha 🤣 yea and she’s got to lie back and think of England or have a headache for years and years 🤮🤮🤮

You forgot the foot-long earlobes - did you know that men’s earlobes continue to grow throughout their lives? Sexy AF mmmm 😋

My uncle was a lot older than my aunt, they married when she was in her late teens and were still married until he died a few years ago.

As I've said before on here I was in a relationship with someone in his 50s when I was in my very early twenties, 21 or 22. There was magnetic chemistry but it wore off after about 6 months.
My husband is 9 years older than me and it was fine when we were younger but now I'm nearly 60 I'm really noticing the age difference.

Oh god, has that theory moved to just men now?! 😂

I would definitely explore it in counselling op seeing as its bringing up these emotions and doubts x

And she has issues too. Works both ways you know.

Yeah, but at 19 any 'issues' are more likely to be related to fairly age-appropriate immaturity and lack of life experience, perhaps due to a sheltered upbringing.

Whereas at 49, his are likely to be related to non-age appropriate immaturity caused by deep self-centredness, years and years of denial of real-life lessons, and refusal to take on normal adult responsibilities due to feeling entitled to 'more or better' than most other people.

When he was her age, she was still 11 years away from being born. The gap is enormous!

Any adult who has an age-appropriate level of maturity would feel uncomfortable dating someone who is at such a different stage of life. I'm not even as old as that guy and honestly would feel uncomfortable about dating someone in their early 30s, let alone someone in their early 20s, LET ALONE someone in their late teens.

@CheekyHobson you're spot on.

Reading and omg

Really without context how can you answer this wisely.
I ended up here, because I'm in excellent physical shape( and have all of my hair) I run most days, and I'm going on a surfing vacation next month.
I've never been married and I've been minding my own business in the dating department for at least a decade. I'm also 49. However , largely because of the afore mentioned characteristics (Fit, tall and handsome) I have, it seems attracted the attention of a friend. So why did I end up here specifically?, despite zero reciprocation on my part, it seems this 19 year old is determined. I will not become romantically involved. But I also appreciate her attention and let her know I am flattered because she is, quite awesome. So : Is she more or less naïve than some of her peers that are married to and/or pregnant to people of similar age ?. Is she dumb, despite being an academic achiever ?. Is it relevant that she works and socialises with responsible adults. Does physical fitness, appearance , attitude or intelligence come into consideration ? . In the hypothetical unlikely scenario we were a couple, When exactly would she become a 'Carer', when I am 90 and she is 60 ?.My parents are in their eighties, they are still active and sane. What if she develops MS at 30, like some people I know. Life can throw tragedy unexpectedly. I guess my point is, don't be so quick to judge without nuance and context.

@penguinman211 I’m 50 and in pretty good nick too, but the issue I’d have with this situation is that you and I have experienced our youth, we’ve had partners close to our own age. We’ve socialized, partied, and traveled with own age group.

A 19-year-old deserves that experience too, because however fit we are, we’re a solid generation older. My DD is 19 and she needs to be daft with her friends and have fun with boys her own age, just as I did.

If at 30 she wanted to be in a relationship with a 60-year-old, I’d be surprised but also recognize that they’re both mature adults with some life experience. A19-year-old is just out of their childhood, they need to live abit.