Consequences of 19 year old with a 49 year old?

[Scribbleonapage]

Do you think that a 19 year old girl seeing a 49 year old man would have lasting negative consequences? Do you think it would be likely to affect the 19 yo even if she doesn't realise it? Is a 49 year old in this situation always in the wrong/a bad guy?

Oh no. Im not the guy. Sorry for being vague I just didn't want to go into all the details as I don't think it's something for MN and was scared of all of the replies. I just don't have anyone to talk to about it and have been wondering for a long time about the lasting affects of this and whether 19 is really still a child, or whether they would come out of this unscathed. I suppose it's not really something anyone can answer as it depends on the situation and what happened. But it's been whirring around my mind and just wanted to hear others thoughts or experiences

The family friend thing is just an extra level of grossness. It doesn't matter which 19 year old it is or whether they know each other or not- the girl is very young and vulnerable because of her age and no decent man as old as the man in this scenario would go near any teenager.

Why is it on your mind if you're not somewhat involved?

Well if he is there's gonna be nothing sexual about it cause the only thing that's going to get him up at night is his fucking bladder !

No one can give you proper advice without the facts. No one knows who you are. You can say "when I was 19 this happened, and 20 years later it still affects me." Or "I'm 19 now and don't know what to do"; or my friend is 19 and this creepy old guy is trying to date her.

That affects the advice you will be given.

He's either the creepy old man fucking his friends teenager now realising how that age gap can make him look like the creepy perv he is by shagging the teenagers he's the family friend of and has realised just how exploitative and creepy she and others can view him when she's had some life experience and realised he could have started wanting to fuck her when she was still a child. And he's trying to make himself not feel as bad about he looks as a creepy middle aged man having secret sex with a teenager. He probably realised it can look very much like he's groomed if he's been in her life as a family friend for a long time too. Possibly worrying she will reflect he probably fancied her when she was still a child.

I don't think 19 is still a child, but it's very young to understand the motivations of a middle aged family friend having sexual relationships with teenagers though.

No healthy safe relationship needs to be a secret.

I’m 42. A 19 year old is like a child to me. There is no comparison in terms of intellectual or emotional maturity.

He's not a paedo and by calling him one you are doing a disservice to those who have been genuine victims of paedos.
Young people have to make their own mistakes and learn from them. It might be icky but they are both over age of consent.
So just butt out

Christ alive she is a child. I know loads of people will pile on and say ‘she is an adult’ it’s bollox she is still a child. The 49 year old is a creepy fucker.

Heart attack.

Well you're obviously not going to admit who you are.

The 19 year old needs to run for the hills and the 50 year old needs to stop being a predator.

Middle age men don't usually go around sleeping with teenagers. And any normal relationship doesn't need to be a secret. It's wrong.

This!

Friend of the family? He’s not much better than a paedophile then. Gross

I was in a similar age gap situation at 18. I can honestly say it definitely had a lasting negative effect on me even now 20 years later.

Will he go to prison for being a nonce. No.

But a 50 year old who has shoes older than the 19yo, is attracted to children.

@SparksFly15 I am sorry I hope you're okay 💕

When I see these old male celebrities with very young girlfriends, I think it's all the things PPs have said - and I think it makes him look ridiculous and pathetic

If this is the way you want to be viewed by 99% of people who know you....

When I was 18, one of friends told me that she was having an affair with a 48–year-old. I was horrified and when it all became public, so was her family. She also lost alot of friends over it as people just couldn’t stomach the relationship, tbh.

I’m now nearly 49 with an 18-year-old and I wouldn’t consider going after anyone that age. They’re so young, they should be with a young partner, not a middle-aged person like me.

This is wild infantilisation.

He is a creepy fucker though, yes.

What's with all the huge age-gap relationship threads lately?

Grandad? Dad maybe, but this is a 30 year age gap, Not 50!
To be a grandad the guy would have had to have a child at 15, and then their kid become a parent at 15 as well. not exactly normal!

Even my dad was older than 30 when he had me!

Sorry, I should have said that was when she was in 6th form!

100%!

A pedo is someone who is attracted to children BEFORE they reach puberty.

It is not a synomym to someone who is atracted to younger people.
A pedophile is a very very specific term.

He might be a creep and it might be innapropriate, absolutely! But use your terms correctly!