Why are your kids going to jail? *Lighthearted*

[usernamechanged1]

My 16m old is going for assault. He’s started throwing some tantrums when he doesn’t get his way and those hands and feet will destroy anything and anyone in their path.

Why’s your kid going down?

Criminal damage.

I think I could do mine for public indecency also. That tiny bum is out more than it’s in. 😂

Ds 8 suggested his 'gf' had herpes yesterday..
He is def gonna be a player who doesn't used condoms and has multiple dc with multiple women...
He meant psoriasis... As his db has been recently diagnosed and we have been discussing it.
Have reinforced not to suggest to' gf' she has herpes...

Daylight robbery!
She thinks no is a word not relevant to her 🤷‍♀️

Contempt of Court. She could literally argue the sky is pink if she wanted to.

Public indecency here and the other one breach of the peace!

3 and 2 yo

10 year old could get an asbo for the lip and moodiness I'm sure

DD1 - breach of the Computer Misuse Act
DD2 - GBH of one of her siblings because they moved her stuff
DS - I don't think being completely gross is a crime. If it was I would shop him myself. Possibly inciting public disorder.

Definitely breach of the peace. You hear DD coming up the road a minute or two before you see her.

You could get your DS on a breach of the peace if his grossness is likely to trigger fear and alarm in others. If there are bogies or farts involved, I think you’ll be fine. ☠️

I don't have kids, I have cats.. they'd be going down for treason because they utterly believe they are above everyone and would overthrow everyone if given the chance.

Murder (of my house plant)

Every time he walks past he grabs a leaf!!!

My sister should have gone for gbh when she wrenched the arm off my Sindy and broke the elastic band.

Also for breaking and entering into my bedroom, but then so should I. And also possibly for petty larceny for stealing her copy of Forever.

Dad for theft of chocolate on a massive and repetitive scale.

No kids, so I respectfully submit these examples of crime from when I was a kid.

My elder DD will never be caught. She will be the evil genius in the background that no one suspects. People always underestimate her but get to know her and you realise what a planning genius she is.

Theft, verbal abuse and lying, though not sure the latter is a crime except when in court??

Dd1 - possibly fraud, or contempt of court as I certainly think a multi level ponzi scheme is beyond her, however she'd undo herself arguing that the court is wrong in every way.

Dd2 - manslaughter, it would one of those dreadful circumstances where you were damned if you do, damned if you don't.

*isn't behind her!

DD 11, the Death Stare...

Theft of my jewellery and make up. She's 6!
Disturbing the peace, she has no volume control

The mafia are likely to get to them first!

13 DD guilty of theft of valuable items and littering. Mainly throwing down empty orange juice bottles throughout the house and stealing my bracelet.

5 y/o DS - indecent exposure. The fascination with the penis is strong in this one. He likes to share this fascination with us a lot. Also space obsessed and thinks pulling his pants down and claiming it’s a full moon is hilarious.

12yo dd would definitely be for arguing with the police.

DS10 - causing death by incessant talking.