Nearly 2 year old will not sleep in her own cot. Getting desperate.

[Jamieleecurtain]

Every night around 6.30/7 she shows signs of being tired so we put her to bed in her cot. She drinks a bottle of (cows) milk and goes off to sleep. On a typical night she then proceeds to wake up about 10.30 and another bottle of milk will send her back to sleep. Then she’ll wake up again an hour or so later and demand more milk or to come into bed with me. If I go to her and try and settle her she just gets absolutely hysterical. We have tried DH being the one to go to her and spend time rocking her, taking to her, playing music, sitting with her. Sometimes it works eventually but sometimes it escalates and she becomes hysterical. Often I just cave in and let her sleep in bed with me before she becomes hysterical. If she gets hysterical she doesn’t calm down from it very easily and I get a couple of hours of her demanding hugs or to be rubbing my cheek etc before she goes to sleep. Sometimes she’ll ask for even more milk and gets upset if not given it.

what are we doing wrong here? Why is she waking up? I feel like the relying on milk to sleep might be key here but how do I get her out of that habit when she gets so upset without it?

Your not doing anything wrong.

My DD was similar at that age, liked sleeping next to me in bed. We eventually got her a full sized bed so I’d sit with her and she’d sleep in her own bed. Most of the time now at 4yrs she’ll go through the night, but does still occasionally wake up in the night.

We swapped out the bottle for an open cup of milk, absolutely wasn’t interested after a few days!

Mine totally lost interest in milk once we switched to a cup too. Its time to ditch the bottles anyway, they're bad for her teeth.
I put up with mine in our bed, she always hated the cot but slept better in a proper bed.

This is quite normal. I just went and popped mine in our bed as soon as they woke. It doesn’t last forever.
Definitely get rid of the bottles, ideally they be stopped at around 12 months.

Surely at 2 you should be offering a cup of water at night rather than a bottle of milk. It's bad for their teeth.

What time is she up in the morning?

Two suggestions:
Check for hook worms. Very common in kids this age and a major reason for kids going to sleep then waking up soon after.

Time for a "big girl bed". Two is too old for a cot. They like independence, given in small increasing doses.

I'd consider low or floor bed, switch to cup and water only at night - far less interesting. Even if means a snack before bed so she's full

Are you cleaning teeth after milk? Really important at this age, they shouldn’t be drinking milk from a bottle during the night, it pools in their mouths and cause cavities.

ditch that, you need to find a a different way to settle her initially.