How to be civil to someone you hate?

[Ilovehatecleaning]

I have to see and be civil to someone who is absolutely awful. I have to do this for the sake of other people.
Even just thinking about them makes me so angry. They have done despicable things but have such a victim mentality.
Any pointers on how to stop this hatred impacting on me? They live rent free in my head.
Thank you

Smile and wave with your teeth showing. I do this on the regular. One person that is very close family, I have to keep the peace but lord knows I'd love to ruin it. One day. Until then, smile and wave 🫣😊

I find it easier if I try to feel superior to them; you can pity them for being so truly pathetic that they have to do awful things to make themselves feel better about their utter tragicness. Look down on them.

It may be morally dubious but it saves punching people.

@Mummybearto3bg Thank you. I too long for the day when I won't have to see this person again.
In the meantime I need to try and relax

Be extra nice to them so everyone else thinks the other person is the problem and that you’re completely sane and reasonable. Reverse manipulation almost

@VikingLady I really want to punch them though😀

@Homedeco You're a better person than me. I can't do it.
I'm going to bed to seeth

Oh ditto 😂

At the start I had to do proper breathing exercises and calm thoughts in my head. It's taken 2 years but I've managed to flip my way of thinking, I genuinely have lost all ability to care about them / what they say / what they do - so now even if they do something ridiculous it's like water off a ducks back, I genuinely have zero reaction. It's potentially quite psychotic I can turn emotion off for one person but it's working 😂

I’m honestly not, with my plan people slowly turn against the other person & see their true colours !

There’s someone who lives in the next block to me, the dislike is mutual and I really enjoy giving her a cheery hello every time I see her because I know she hates it.

I sympathise! I like to imagine the awful things I'd like to happen to them, especially if I'm stuck listening to them at length (in a work meeting, or at a get together). It makes it much easier to smile sweetly.

I freely admit it may not be healthy. But it does make it easier!

Yes get in their face and be super cheery, lots of HELLLLO how ARE you, no WAY type of thing. It is funny to see how far you can push the over friendliness [hint: really really far because the person will be blinking blankly a lot]

Kate, is that you?

Is this some sort of weird projection thing? I don't recognise this.

If you're having a shit time don't take it out on random other people.

Don't hate people because of how they seem, especially on the school run - everyone has their own thing going on and it's not about you.

Kill them with kindness, they will seethe inwardly which adds to the fun.

@wannarunfromitall Not at all. I don't agree with the projection thing either.
This is someone well known who has acted awfully.

I know exactly how you feel BUT be careful what you wish for! I always said i couldn't wait to never having to see SIL again and I finally got my wish but I paid the ultimate price - my brother died - now all I find myself saying is I'd put up with her forever if we could just have him back. I'd always just hoped she'd leave him or run off with someone else. She has done some despicable things to the family and we always kept the peace for his sake.

@SunshineAndFizz 😁