Should I tell my dp his friend has died?

[Step1e]

Should I tell him now or wait til after Christmas Day?

I know it will upset him and I don't know how telling him now will be any different to him finding out on Boxing Day.

I really wish I hadn't just found out.

Sorry for your loss

Yes tell him. It isn’t your news to keep from him

Why would you wait to tell your DP??

Yes, of course tell him. It's very sad but you can't keep something like that from someone.

Tell him now. It’s the only fair and ethical thing to do. If you left it to Boxing Day he’d want to know why you kept it from him.

Tell him.

It’s sad but tell him now.

I think you need to tell him.

I'm sorry

You have to tell him.

Tricky one. You don’t want him to be sad at Christmas but you’ll appear deceitful if you tell him later. I’d probably tell him.

It would be different as he would be asking why you kept it from him, might cause him to be angry at you (grief does funny things to you).

Of course you tell him now. I'd be livid if my partner found out my friend had passed and didn't tell me for a few days.

Surely he will find out today anyway. If he finds out you knew, I think he would be really hurt.

Will he not find out fr someone else?

How did you find out and if your DP and friend were close how come DP doesn't know already? Is it likely DP will find out over the next couple of days anyway?

If it makes any difference he wouldn't know that I know.

My reason for not telling him is quite selfish really. As a family we've had a terrible year and I really wanted us all to have one day of happiness.

We need more details. How close were they? How long ago did it happen! How did you find out?

They weren't close friends but it is still sad news.

You'll be having two very different christmas's if you don't tell him. One where every happy moment is tinged with sadness for you and knowing his fun is in ignorance of what around the corner for him when he hears.
It's ghastly, but hearing about it late could be terrible. He will know the deceased man's bereaved friends and family wen by through Xmas, just bereft, without him having the chance to offer them his comfort, he could be really upset about that.

What @CleopatrasBeautifulNose said.

If he wouldn't know that you know, don't tell him.

Tell him. Speaking as someone who lost a friend recently it would have hurt me a lot to know it had been kept from me for any reason.

You would be bang out of order to know this and keep it from him.

If someone I loves did this to me, I doubt I would ever forgive them.

If they weren't close friends and he is a grown up, he'll probably still be able to enjoy Christmas op.
I'm afraid that you sound very controlling.

You can have one day of happiness.

Op, last year my mum died. Dp had my ds while I rushed to her house and sat waiting for them to tell me she had died. The. Waited for the funeral directors etc.

Ds was texting me happily. I came home and he was eating pizza and laughing with dp. I watched him knowing I would have to tell him something terrible when he had finished eating. I couldn’t enjoy watching him laugh and joke, like I usually would. I knew I was about to say something that would cause him a lot of pain. That broke my heart almost as much having to tell him.

Would you really enjoy this ‘day of happiness’ knowing what you know.

it really hard to judge how upset he will be m. They were close. But you seem to feel Thai will ruin Christmas. I lost a friend earlier in the year, we weren’t really close. So while it was sad, I did just crack on with my day.

I will tell him. You are all right, it's not fair not to.