Need a happy thread...

Julie43534 · 2022-12-24T00:14:32+00:00

Hello everyone Not really expecting anyone to read this but I am a little bit tipsy and feeling happy for the first time on months and is there anyone else feeling like they just want to forget about all the rubbish and just relax! Anyone got a joke or a funny story..... I can't think of anything to start but give me a minute....

Tittyfilarious81 · 24/12/2022 00:18

@Julie43534 why didn't the toilet roll cross the road ?

Because it got stuck in a crack 😊

Original poster

Julie43534 · 24/12/2022 00:22

😂That genuinely made me laugh out loud... and I didn't even get it for about 50-60 seconds! (me not the joke) Brilliant..... Thank you!

I still haven't thought of anything..... I got into a strangers car last week (thinking my DH was in the drivers seat but that is not unusual.... 😂

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Piemam · 24/12/2022 00:23

You have to say this out loud:

What did the cheese say to the mirror?

Halloumi!

SkylightSkylight · 24/12/2022 00:25

what cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree??

camembert

SkylightSkylight · 24/12/2022 00:26

Hat do you get if you cross 2elephants & a fish??

swimming trunks.

Original poster

Julie43534 · 24/12/2022 00:27

I googled " how to pronounce Halloumi" and when the woman said it I just burst into laughter. I know how to say it btw - just double checking! Brilliant. I'm going to do that the next time I look in a mirror!

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Tittyfilarious81 · 24/12/2022 00:27

😂 some fella did that once to my husband when I'd ran into the shop quick , he got in the passenger seat of our car not looking at the driver saying I still can't believe I'm letting you drive you are such a crap driver ...my husband said well it's my car mate , he's never seen someone jump so much in his life 😂

Original poster

Julie43534 · 24/12/2022 00:37

I'm loving these jokes! Camembert! 😂. I always find the subtle hilarious. I love it, thank you!

And swimming trunks! That's just funny!!!!

I never remember jokes when I am drunk!

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PrincessofWellies · 24/12/2022 00:43

The car needed washer fluid in it so dh bought some and filled it. The next day he admitted he accidentally put adblue in instead of washer fluid. I told him to empty it using a piece of hose. So what did he do. He used the washer squirts to get rid of it. He burnt the washer motor out 🤣 So probably in excess of £250 damage . . .

Original poster

Julie43534 · 24/12/2022 00:44

Tittyfilarious81 · 24/12/2022 00:27

😂 some fella did that once to my husband when I'd ran into the shop quick , he got in the passenger seat of our car not looking at the driver saying I still can't believe I'm letting you drive you are such a crap driver ...my husband said well it's my car mate , he's never seen someone jump so much in his life 😂

😂Good for your DH!!!! My (female) driver didn't say a word! Just looked at me in shock (maybe surprise?) I actually feel bad.... but my DH on the other hand (who watched all this from two cars behind) hasn't stop laughing about it.... He didn't even try to text "You are in the wrong car!" The car wasn't even the same model...just the same colour! I blame brain fog!

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Ijuststoodonlego · 24/12/2022 01:00

Oh OP I know about the brain fog (writing this as I can't sleep).

I went to someone else's car (thinking it was mine and that I'd unlocked it pressing the button on the keys). I was shouting that my stuff had been stolen off the seats. DH obviously had to watch me make a complete tit of myself for a bit before offering up that it wasn't our car. I even tried the handle but I didn't set an alarm off, thank god.

The car wasn't even the same make as mine just the same colour.

Staying on the car theme. I drove to a coffee shop drive thru (no people waiting). I missed the speaker thing, drove straight to collect window and just waited forgetting that I'd not even placed an order. When the lady opened the window I realised what I'd done but she found it funny. I felt like a numpty.

Original poster

Julie43534 · 24/12/2022 01:13

PrincessofWellies · 24/12/2022 00:43

The car needed washer fluid in it so dh bought some and filled it. The next day he admitted he accidentally put adblue in instead of washer fluid. I told him to empty it using a piece of hose. So what did he do. He used the washer squirts to get rid of it. He burnt the washer motor out 🤣 So probably in excess of £250 damage . . .

OMG! Flipping hell... Running a car is expensive enough without that! At least you have some back-up for years based on the back of that! My DH thought a flight was 12 hours after it actually was so we spent a lovely day wandering around Barcelona when we should have been flying home! But it was great because all I had to say was "Remember Barcelona" when he makes out I'm as daft as a brush!

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Original poster

Julie43534 · 24/12/2022 01:20

@Ijuststoodonlego

My son was addicted to lego! It is very sore to stand on!

Loving your stories of brain fog chaos..... it's crazy isn't it? It's almost indescribable and I am turning more into my mum by the day. I catch myself in the mirror with this glaikit expression and I am staring at my mum! I keep being REALLY nice to her because I had less patience back then and I just didn't understand! (I bought her loads for Christmas to make up for it!)

And you weren't a numpty (😂well a bit - but I get it!). I'm laughing at you shouting your stuff had been stolen! - I would have done that!

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