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Original poster

What would you make of this?

31 replies

HappiCamper · 12/12/2022 20:29

There are two women, who have been friends for many years. One friend (Rachel) has a boyfriend of 6 months (Steve). Jennifer is Rachel’s friend.

Steve says to Jennifer, in front of Rachel, “You’re the first redhead I’ve met who doesn’t make me go…” <pulls saucy Dick Emery style pout>.
Neither woman reacts to this and Jennifer changes the subject.

Later on, Jennifer is washing up and Steve goes up behind her, puts his head right next to her to talk directly into her ear, rubs his hands up and down her stomach and hips and asks for some leftover food she’s made.

Jennifer tells him he can have it if he never does that again. Steve laughs and says he knows what to do in future…

What do you make of Steve’s behaviour? Both incidents were whilst Rachel was present.

OP posts:
IToldYouAmillionTimesAlready · 12/12/2022 20:31

Steve wants to shag Jennifer

Colourmehappy26 · 12/12/2022 20:32

That he’s a sleezeball and needs dumping. Response doesn’t vary whoever you are in this situation

EVHead · 12/12/2022 20:32

Steve is a cunt and neither woman should have anything to do with him ever again.

Original poster
HappiCamper · 12/12/2022 20:33

I’m Jennifer in this scenario, and I don’t think Steve wants to shag me, but I do think he’s trying to intimidate me and I don’t understand why my friend isn’t reacting to his behaviour.

OP posts:
Original poster
HappiCamper · 12/12/2022 20:35

He made my skin crawl. I don’t want to upset my very dear friend, but equally I don’t understand why she doesn’t think I’d be upset by this.

OP posts:
Whatsnewpussyhat · 12/12/2022 21:07

Because he's already conditioned her not to react. He's testing her, and you. He's abusive and she's in deep.

If you tell her he's a sleazy arsehole, he'll tell her you are jealous and find ways to get her to cut you out of her life.

Original poster
HappiCamper · 12/12/2022 21:10

That’s what I’m afraid of @Whatsnewpussyhat ☹️. She really is in deep- I hardly see her anymore. There’s more weird stuff, but I could always explain it away. I’m still feeling sick about last weekend.

OP posts:
NotToBeOrToBe · 12/12/2022 21:14

She's not able to stop him, but you can stop him if he tries that again.

He is such a slimball. Your poor friend, I dread to think what he's doing to her behind closed doors.

Original poster
HappiCamper · 12/12/2022 21:17

I’m wondering whether to message him directly and tell him what I think of his behaviour. I don’t want to upset her because she’s already very stressed about something unrelated and I don’t want to add to that. I think he’s capitalising on that tbh.

OP posts:
GreenManalishi · 12/12/2022 21:17

I make of this that Steve is disgusting and Rachel is in the shit.

Original poster
HappiCamper · 12/12/2022 21:18

He’s still at the love bombing stage with her.

OP posts:
WeAreTheHeroes · 12/12/2022 21:21

Don't message him, it'll backfire. Keep in touch with her and be there for her. Should she ever ask you about him, be honest and tell her you sense he is controlling and you didn't want to isolate her further.

dolor · 12/12/2022 21:24

Steve is an inappropriate piece of shit, and he clearly thinks he can take what he wants.

Your mate needs to get rid, but it's very hard to get out from jizztoads like that.

Monsteraobliqua · 12/12/2022 21:28

What a bastard he is. I wouldn't try and open up a dialogue with him directly, he will find a way to distort this. I would try to see Rachel without him as far as you can, and if not possible, shine a light on every instance of this inappropriate behaviour, as you did but more bluntly. If you get chance, you could try and approach Rachel with some open questions in person without him, 'how are things with Steve?' and so on.

Original poster
HappiCamper · 12/12/2022 21:29

Steve also has a form of cancer, which I’m sure affects him greatly (although it seems well controlled). He often makes comments about not knowing how long he has left…

OP posts:
Georgeskitchen · 12/12/2022 21:31

He's a sleazebag. Have you spoken to your friend about how you feel about this man?
She needs to get away from him

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 12/12/2022 21:32

Do we know for a fact he has cancer, or could this be a lie to further manipulate?

LittleCottage · 12/12/2022 21:34

Why does this need opinions?

Original poster
HappiCamper · 12/12/2022 21:34

I haven’t directly. She seems so happy with him 😔. I don’t think she’d listen tbh. Then there’s his illness and his kids.

She’s so kindhearted. The kindest person I know.

OP posts:
Original poster
HappiCamper · 12/12/2022 21:36

LittleCottage · 12/12/2022 21:34

Why does this need opinions?

I’m asking because I wanted to be sure that what happened was as inappropriate as it felt. Her not reacting at all threw me.

OP posts:
Original poster
HappiCamper · 12/12/2022 21:36

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 12/12/2022 21:32

Do we know for a fact he has cancer, or could this be a lie to further manipulate?

He definitely does.

OP posts:
Georgeskitchen · 12/12/2022 21:38

Having cancer isn't a free pass to behave like a twat

Original poster
HappiCamper · 12/12/2022 21:41

Georgeskitchen · 12/12/2022 21:38

Having cancer isn't a free pass to behave like a twat

Exactly.

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 12/12/2022 21:43

rubs his hands up and down her stomach and hips

I would have pushed him away so hard he fell over if he did that to me, and asked what the fck he was doing. Why were you so calm about it?

FitYeDaeinYeMadRadge · 12/12/2022 21:45

If you see them again enforce your boundaries coldly and firmly.

I feel for your friend. And for you. What a shitty situation he’s put you in.

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