If you learned about sex on the playground…

[CareIessWispa]

… did you pick up any inaccuracies that stayed with you?

Long before the internet, I grew up in a strict Catholic household where sex was a dirty word so I didn’t have a clue until I was 9 and my 10 year old best friend decided to tell me all I needed to know.

Her parents were quite liberal and had given her a book. She described everything in gleeful detail including a very graphic overview of male genitalia.

All good until about 7 years later and 16 year old me was face-to-face with the real thing for the first time and very confused about why the testicles were located below the penis and not flopping around on top like the hair of some 90s boybander.

No idea how I got that one so very, very wrong.

I got a hamster one Xmas age about 10 and it came with a little booklet which explained all about male and female etc and how they mated.
This was about 50 years ago, long before everything was about sex.
When I went to secondary school and I discovered that humans also did the same thing as hamsters I was horrified!!

😂

Maybe a good thing that you didn’t get rabbits!

Karen McCarthy told me on the way home from school when we were eight or nine, and I didn’t believe her. It all sounded deeply unlikely. I think I also imagined the angles to be quite different — I though the penis stuck straight out in front and went into the vagina at a perfect right angle, like a key going into a lock. I also formed the idea that when the couple went into the sacristy to sign the register during a church wedding, it was for a sex license.

My friends older sister Helen told us all, she had started having sex and gathered us all around and showed us a pillow and her sitting on top bouncing around.. she also described lots of other details, so thank you Helen.

But at 9 year old for the life of me couldn't work out how a floppy willy facing downward got anywhere near her... as all the drawings in my medical illustrations books didn't show anything erect..

So I had many very puzzling years.

Your username has just made me break out in a sweat.

It takes six hours to make a baby

I will be 57 next birthday but have never forgotten that one. Equivalent of Y6 and my best friend told me that’s how long it took lol.

My work here is done. 😀

I am now going to name change to Módh Coinníolladh…

💀

There was some debate among my friends as to whether a blow job involved actual blowing

I thought babies were born out of your belly button until we had a sex lesson in school.

My friend with older siblings told a group of us when I was 8. It all sounded totally unlikely to innocent me and I went home and asked my dad if it was true and he was horrified to be asked, lol.

I thought the bloke put his penis into the woman’s vagina and then they just lay there like that, motionless.

When I was around 8, a friend and I had a very serious conversation about conception. We had only bits of knowledge and were trying combine them to make it make sense.

She knew that it definitely had to do with penises. I knew that it had something to do with 'seeds and eggs' because I had been given the confusing and not that helpful book 'Mummy laid an egg'.
And we knew that it happened in a bed because we had both recently been allowed to watch friends on tv.
We came to the conclusion that a man must have to pee his 'seeds' into the womans mouth so she could swallow it and it could grow into a baby.

Luckily we had some actual explanations pretty soon and straightened that out but I did still think that sex must involve pee until I was 14.

I had a copy of The Body Book from about 4 years old, so I was the person who told other kids in the playground in glorious, accurate detail!

Nothing exciting to share, I just thought my vagina was up the top end of the vulva, where the clitoris is - I didn't know what a vulva or clitoris was, but having accidentally banged it on the corner of the school tables one too many times at primary, I'd taken what little information was in my book plus that I heard on the playground, and worked out that the sensitive bit had to be where my vagina hole was. I was actually relieved to find out it wasn't!

This was my DS. He’d always known the basics, but was very tickled to find his peers comparatively clueless, especially as he was the baby of his reception class, and enjoyed his newfound status as Reception Sex Guru.

I will never forget my friend in year 2 asking me if I was a lesbian or a Capricorn.

I thought the bloke put his penis into the woman’s vagina and then they just lay there like that, motionless.

As did I.

@TuisealGinideach I love that you gave her full name, rather than 'my friend Karen', like she is/was notorious! 😂

Hilarious!!

My best friend at primary school told me (aged 8 maybe) what 'fingering' was. I was horrified. It sounded disgusting and it was only when I was sexually active and reluctantly agreed to try it that I realised it isn't!

I do look back now and wonder how and why she knew in so much detail.(I vaguely remember her saying her brother taught her about it) There were a lot of things now about her life that I recognise as red flags, but at the time I didn't think anything beyond how gross it was!

I didn't find out on the playground as such but I played a game called the sims and they had "sex" and I found a way to look under the covers when they were doing it and they were just led next to each other side by side doing nothing - after seeing this I wondered what all the fuss was about as it seemed very boring

What I remember as sex education in the play ground was just lots of jokes such as
Child to pregnant mother: Why is your tummy sticking out?
Embarrassed mum: Daddy gave me a baby.
Child to Dad: Did you give Mummy a baby?
Dad: Er, yes.
Child: Well she’s gone and swallowed it.

My big sister described the whole thing in detail but then said both the male and female had to orgasm at the exact same moment to get pregnant. I wondered why there was any unwanted pregnancies, surely they'd just avoid the orgasm?! I'm sure lots of men still think that way 🤣

I also thought a virgin was someone who hadn't started their periods, I didn't know it had anything to do with sex.

I thought that whoever put the most ‘effort’ into sex, was what decided if the baby was a boy or a girl. Like a race to the finish at sports day 🤣

🤮