What's your made up tongue in cheek conspiracy theory?

[BooksAreSaferThanPeople]

Mine is that gas prices are being kept artificially high so that we're all quite pleased with the abnormally warm weather and not rioting in the streets about climate change.

The tories are purposefully making the country as shit as possible to keep people from other countries wanting to come here.

I saw a news article yesterday about a couple who have gone back to Ukraine because housing here is so shit which seems to back my ‘theory’ up!

Ooo good one. I personally think we should do more to help asylum seekers but I do wonder why they want to come here over other European countries when it's so shite here

The summer heatwave was caused by not enough British holidaymakers soaking up the Mediterranean sun, so it leaked out and came further north looking for sunbathers.

That Harry is not Charles son and they all found out, disowned him and all made up stories banishing him to USA forever not the other way round.

Balenciaga is 100% a social experiment.

That Christma is just a marketing ploy to get us to buy a load of Christmas crap .
Discuss.

That climate change is directly linked to the changes in the Irish Leaving Cert.

In ancient times people appeased their weather gods by regularly sacrificing virgins. In modern times human sacrifice is a bit trickier to sell to the masses so a compromise was reached, whereby every year, for one week, every 18 year old in the country had to sit crammed into a sweltering exam gallon abject misery. Meanwhile the rest of the country was guaranteed one week of glorious sunshine (followed by the usual wet Irish summer)

It was a system that worked perfectly but they had to go and bring in continuous assessment and the whole cosmic balance has fallen out of whack.

I can totally get on board with this one.