I am in a friendship group of 6ppl (3 couples). Two of them have birthdays this week.
Tom, whose bday is Friday, is having a dinner party that night for the 6 of us.
Claire, whose bday is Thursday, is not doing anything but I'll see her at Tom's on Friday.
Tom got me a gift for my bday a few months ago, but Claire didn't. I want to get Tom something but do I have to get Claire something too? I was just thinking card through her letterbox and saying happy birthday in person on Friday. But she will see that I've got Tom a gift then - is it rude?
Other context:
- This is a new group, we only became friends in May. So these are the first birthdays we're navigating.
- Tom got me a gift because he came to my bday drinks, Claire didn't because they were away that weekend.
- I'm trying to cut down 'stuff' in my life so would really rather not enter into a new gift giving and receiving obligation.
- I am better friends with Tom than Claire.
Wwyd?