That the more you chase or more available you are, the less desirable you are to them? Or, another way, you’re more attractive the more controlled/private you are compared with being fully open and in someone’s face?
With relationships, friends, family, enemies (if you have any!) etc…
obviously you need to take SOME interest in a person to be a nice decent person. But I often wonder if I subconsciously make too much effort sometimes and don’t let people come to me. It’s almost expected I will be available - this is true of friends, exs, family etc. People seem to know I am always responsive and ‘there’ and available for them.