Potentially very outing... but never mind. I work in local government, not in the UK. Today we got an actual paper letter from the US in a a shaky hand, that I had to quickly type down so the "mayor" (not a thing here) could read it. Also, the "city" he refers to is a suburb of the small, main town. I'm only posting the first and fourth paragraph, and those were the most understandable ones.
I love a good, harmless, weird letter. Please share yours!
Dear Mayor,
I have thought it would be good of me to write you a happily considered and compositely contented (?) letter of introduction, with admiration for, and interest in, your impressive gamut of responsabilities in governance over the penitently (?) beguiling and inclusive city of [redacted].
[yada yada]
It may be of value for you to know I have enjoyed a somewhat broad-minded upbringing, [Editors note: does this mean drugs?] with permissiveness of shortcoming in perfect aptitude for mastery (?) while learning.
[yada yada]