In 30s with no friends

[Whatinthelord]

I’m in my mid thirties and over the last few years have lost most of my friends.
I have a handful of friends but they all live a distance from me. 1 I see a couple of times a year, 2 I barely see and they seem to make no effort to instigate any meet-ups and 1 that lives abroad.

I have literally no friends who live close to me that I can do nice things with. Even something simple like go for a walk or grab a coffee.

Are many people in this situation.
I see people put in groups having fun, but I just don’t have a group.

Whatinthelord don’t rule out friendships with your DC’s mums. That was my tactic, some I arranged to meet and we couldn’t get pass talking about the DC but a few others I clicked with. It felt more like they happened to be a mum who had a similar aged DC to me rather than what the whole friendship was based on. Some friends I lost on the way as our lives went in other directions but others feel as if they are going to be lifelong friends.
I do think your plan of getting to know the swimming group people is a good idea.
I think of it for approximately every twenty acquaintances you may click with one person so there can be quite a bit of small talk etc involved but then once you’ve made a friend or two then you don’t have to keep trying unless you want more friends which it doesn’t sound as if you do.
You also have your Cousin who is a potential ‘friend’ right there.

Sorry that should say DC’s friends/classmates mums.

The swim group seems a good start especially as you spend time with the people already.