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Original poster

Dating as a 55 year old...will men expect me to be bald down below??

194 replies

ConfidenceCrisis44 · 22/02/2021 18:50

Firstly yes, I know I can't date at the moment, I do not want to date at the moment, I am covid safe! Wink

However, I am cautiously looking ahead to the summer. I have been single for 4 years, was married for 20 years before that. In my teens/twenties pubic hair was never much of an issue for anyone, I tidied it a bit to keep it in my pants but that was it! I am aware that things have changed and that a lot of women remove the lot these days. I assumed it was mostly the youngsters. Made the mistake of watching Naked Attraction last night and all the women are bald, even the ones in their 40s, 50s and 60s! I do realise that this is probably not a representative cross section of society, but even so, it has alarmed me. So, does anyone know, what are older men's expectations here?? I really want to stay au naturel! But would be mortified to put someone off because of it!

OP posts:
lollipoprainbow · 23/02/2021 07:52

@BarbaraofSeville I was waiting for a comment like yours 🙄

stampsurprise · 23/02/2021 07:58

As a pp said it would be helpful if there was a tick box for this on dating sites.

Depending on how long you want to wait before DTD it would be a shame if you thought you had a great guy and it turned out he couldn’t get past the hair - not literally haha!!!!

I am over 50s and have always kept hair. I must say if I was out there dating again I would also wonder if this would be a problem and want to weed out the wrong guys early on!

PermanentTemporary · 23/02/2021 08:06

Nobody would tick the box because nobody cares!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Dating General relationships
NoBetterthanSheShouldBe · 23/02/2021 08:06

Over 60 and the few guys I’ve dated recently have never commented. They grew up in the 70s too, and are just grateful.

Years ago grey hairs were commented on ... but not criticised. I have noticed that men on dating sites no longer ask about it.

Bagelsandbrie · 23/02/2021 08:16

@PermanentTemporary

Nobody would tick the box because nobody cares!
Exactly. Can you imagine finding someone online you thought was perfect in every other way and then deciding no based on them having a bush? Grin
WomenAndVulvas · 23/02/2021 08:18

It is a bit awkward though in that you could be getting to know someone /dating for a bit and then it's suddenly all off because he doesn't do pubes.
That can happen with loads of minor things though, not just pubic hair. Which is why there isn't much point in trying to do the "right thing".

stampsurprise · 23/02/2021 08:20

@PermanentTemporary

Nobody would tick the box because nobody cares!
Grin people care about height, weight, looks - there are threads here all the time about partners having a go at women for not grooming enough down there. I think it’s wrong of course but I’d like to know upfront if a guy has these preferences and is going to be a dick about it.
StarlightLady · 23/02/2021 08:20

@Bagelsandbrie - I had someone get the sulks because l wouldn’t grow one. He didn’t last long. In more ways than one.

Anna12345678910 · 23/02/2021 08:21

It's up to you.

I never used to wax, I just shaved and then I discovered the Hollywood and never looked back. It's for me - no one else and I love it.

Bagelsandbrie · 23/02/2021 08:25

[quote StarlightLady]@Bagelsandbrie - I had someone get the sulks because l wouldn’t grow one. He didn’t last long. In more ways than one.[/quote]
Wow. What a keeper...! GrinShock

Anna12345678910 · 23/02/2021 08:27

@stampsurprise

As a pp said it would be helpful if there was a tick box for this on dating sites.

Depending on how long you want to wait before DTD it would be a shame if you thought you had a great guy and it turned out he couldn’t get past the hair - not literally haha!!!!

I am over 50s and have always kept hair. I must say if I was out there dating again I would also wonder if this would be a problem and want to weed out the wrong guys early on!

I laughed out loud at this comment...imagining a bush so immense that he just couldn't get 'past it'..... pubs stuck in his teeth Shock
KeflavikAirport · 23/02/2021 08:34

As the wife of a man now in his mid-50s, the men you will be dating will have grown up in the area of big bush 70s porn. You will be fine.

Purplewithred · 23/02/2021 08:43

I was just about to say what @KeflavikAirport said - unless you are restricting your search to 27 year old toy boys the men you are likely to meet up with will be pretty unfazed with a bit of bush.

I told DD27 the other day that a bit of springy bush curling round the edges of a gusset used to be considered very sexy indeed.

moanieleminx · 23/02/2021 08:47

It thins out with menopause??? #everydayisaschoolday

MiniTheMinx · 23/02/2021 08:49

@KeflavikAirport

As the wife of a man now in his mid-50s, the men you will be dating will have grown up in the area of big bush 70s porn. You will be fine.
Yep. DH is 52 and his preference is full on 70s bush.

Ultimately though its like any characteristic physical or otherwise of individuals, you either fancy someone or you don't. I don't understand the idea of changing yourself to appeal to more people. The likely result is you simply join a huge pool of homogeneity. Dare to be yourself, and you'll find someone who thinks your fab.

RandomUser18282 · 23/02/2021 08:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

RandomUser18282 · 23/02/2021 08:56

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/02/2021 09:22

The artist who fainted was John Ruskin

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Ruskin

Meruem · 23/02/2021 09:51

It’s actually a good way of filtering out the men who only want sex. I did old in my late 40s and yes I did get asked if I was shaved, but anyone who wants to know that early on really isn’t interested in you as a person. The men I’ve actually dated didn’t care. If a man rejects you because of hair, it means he is more focused on sex than he is on you.

IAmcuriousyellow · 23/02/2021 09:55

I couldn’t get with anyone who like bald fannies. It gives me the shudders. Why do they want their vagina of choice to look like a child’s?? What does that say about them?

changi · 23/02/2021 10:10

Why do they want their vagina of choice to look like a child’s?? What does that say about them?

Bingo!

GeidiPrimes · 23/02/2021 10:13

It thins out with menopause???

Unless you're like me, and it goes bald on the V, and super luxuriant either side. I have a natural Keith Flint.

Bagelsandbrie · 23/02/2021 10:15

@IAmcuriousyellow

I couldn’t get with anyone who like bald fannies. It gives me the shudders. Why do they want their vagina of choice to look like a child’s?? What does that say about them?
A woman with a shaved vagina isn’t a child and doesn’t look like a child.
ISpeakJive · 23/02/2021 10:40

I couldn’t get with anyone who like bald fannies. It gives me the shudders. Why do they want their vagina of choice to look like a child’s?? What does that say about them?

My fanny! My choice. Nothing to do with children. Frankly, a fanny with an overgrown beard makes me shudder!

NayBor · 23/02/2021 10:43

Why do they want their vagina of choice to look like a child’s?? What does that say about them?

This argument is so ridiculous. I guess we should all stop shaving our legs and armpits too so we don't accidentally get mistaken for children Hmm.

I want my "vagina" (really?) to be bald because it's more comfortable, FEELS cleaner (not saying it's actually cleaner, it just feels cleaner in the same way my armpits feel cleaner when they're shaved) and I like oral sex and don't want my partner to get a mouthful of pubes (because I don't appreciate a mouthful of pubes either).

It's really got nothing to do with looking like a child.

People should be able to do whatever they want with their pubes... but people shouldn't expect other people to like it. I'd never date a man with a beard for example. I don't see how it's any different. How is: "If he's in his 50s he should just be grateful to get close to one" any different from telling a woman in her 50s that she needs to be grateful a man with a beard is interested in her?

Someone upthread was bringing up sexism but I don't see how those types of comments ^ aren't prime examples of it.