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Original poster

Dating as a 55 year old...will men expect me to be bald down below??

194 replies

ConfidenceCrisis44 · 22/02/2021 18:50

Firstly yes, I know I can't date at the moment, I do not want to date at the moment, I am covid safe! Wink

However, I am cautiously looking ahead to the summer. I have been single for 4 years, was married for 20 years before that. In my teens/twenties pubic hair was never much of an issue for anyone, I tidied it a bit to keep it in my pants but that was it! I am aware that things have changed and that a lot of women remove the lot these days. I assumed it was mostly the youngsters. Made the mistake of watching Naked Attraction last night and all the women are bald, even the ones in their 40s, 50s and 60s! I do realise that this is probably not a representative cross section of society, but even so, it has alarmed me. So, does anyone know, what are older men's expectations here?? I really want to stay au naturel! But would be mortified to put someone off because of it!

OP posts:
NutellaEllaElla · 22/02/2021 18:54

I'm 34 and never remove my pubic hair. My DH never questioned it but he't not big into porn. In my mind, they're lucky enough to be offered the privilege to be in your pants so you call the shots....

Roszie · 22/02/2021 18:55

Do whatever you like. It's up to you.

Wigglegiggle0520 · 22/02/2021 18:56

Hmm At 55 years of age surely you’ve got to the point where if someone is going to have an issue with such a minor thing as natural pubic hair then they are not the sort of person you want in your life.
Why are you going to let others opinions dictate what you do to your body? I’d sort that issue out first before you look to date.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Dating General relationships
IHaveBrilloHair · 22/02/2021 18:57

It's yours and you can do whatever you want with it.
I wouldn't have thought if you're at the stage where he's seeing it that he'd care.

Spanglelights · 22/02/2021 18:58

I'm in a fairly similar position, OP. I think if a man was put off based on my foliage, I simply wouldn't be interested in him. How shallow would he be to have such a strong opinion?

BlueSoop · 22/02/2021 18:58

I like a full 70s bush and couldn’t care less what anyone thinks about it.

rawalpindithelabrador · 22/02/2021 18:59

If they do tell them to get knotted.

JackieWeaverIsTheAuthority · 22/02/2021 19:00

If you’ve any sense you’ll tell them to take what they get or get lost.

Frazzlefrazle · 22/02/2021 19:01

Honestly I think it varies person to person. I'm late 20's and I just keep it tidy. I've been with my husband over 10 years though so maybe he just doesn't even notice but he's not once mentioned it. (Actually that's a lie he not so subtlety suggested I tidy up before I gave birth once Grin )

I would just keep doing what you are doing.

blackheartsgirl · 22/02/2021 19:02

Do what you like its your hair!

I've never shaved off my pubes , kept them tidy though.

I've been in a relationship for 3 years with a man who is now 50 and he's never expected me too

Ninkanink · 22/02/2021 19:03

Echoing all of the above.

Any man who ‘expects’ that of you isn’t worth your while.

I go from carefully trimmed, to everything removed, to full 70s bush depending on what mood I’m in, what season it is and whether or not I can be bothered to conduct any requisite maintenance. I would never give a man’s opinion on it any credence whatsoever.

extentioncord · 22/02/2021 19:03

So, does anyone know, what are older men's expectations here??

It doesn't matter.

I really want to stay au naturel!

Then do that.

But would be mortified to put someone off because of it!

If pubic hair puts him off, he isn't the one anyway.

Eckhart · 22/02/2021 19:04

Will you be judging him on his pubic hair, and what it says about his viability for a relationship with you?

Moonmelodies · 22/02/2021 19:04

He might be more worried about himself being bald up top.

flappityflippers1 · 22/02/2021 19:05

DO not shave your fanny - it looks like a plucked chicken and itches enough to start a fire when it's growing back! (Sadly speak from experience, the one time I did a full shave Sad )

I think most men are just happy to be at a stage where they are anywhere near a naked vag - and if they care about the hair, they need to be shown the door Grin

Just do what you're comfortable with and good luck with the dating Smile

Original poster
ConfidenceCrisis44 · 22/02/2021 19:05

Wigglegiggle0502 thank you for your supportive Hmm But read the op as they say...I plan to keep it, but having not dated for nearly 30 years I am nervous.

To others, yes I would tell anyone who critised to get fucked, but I'd still like a heads up if this is likely to happen! It's scary dating after so long (and after several children, and several stone..)

OP posts:
AlCalavicci · 22/02/2021 19:06

I would not remove all my hair for any fella ( or woman for that matter ) .
As long as it is tidy and clean it stays , If any guy says anything hand him a razor and tell him to shave his pubes cos you dont like it , then watch him itch and scratch for the next few days .

Eckhart · 22/02/2021 19:07

It's hair, isn't it. What you're asking is equivalent to 'Do modern men expect women to have short hairstyles?'

Nobody can answer it, except that particular man. And if it's enough to put that particular man off you, then you wouldn't want him anyway, would you?

DrWankincense · 22/02/2021 19:08

I think before you start dating you should decide what YOU want.
Do you want a fully naked sausage? Sausage with a bacon landing strip? Designer sausage? Or are you ok with hairy sausage? The choice is yours!!Wink

Original poster
ConfidenceCrisis44 · 22/02/2021 19:08

Eckhart Come on, we don't live in that kind of society where women judge men's bodies in the same way that women are judged.

OP posts:
PurpleRainDancer · 22/02/2021 19:11

Come on OP you know it’s whatever your personal preference is, not what any potential partner prefers.

Eckhart · 22/02/2021 19:12

It doesn't matter what society we live in. You're essentially asking how you need to 'perform' in today's society, rather than thinking about how to get your needs met and your individualities respected in this society.

Your needs are the most important thing here. You dating is all about you getting your needs met. It's not about you fitting in with someone else's needs and preferences.

HerselfIndoors · 22/02/2021 19:14

I've also wondered this OP! Not sure if I'm ready to think about dating yet but I've wondered if men will scream and curl up under the bed sobbing when they see my natural ladygarden (not that it's especially wild, it's fairly neat...)

But that doesn't mean I'll be getting rid of it - never. Even trimming it slightly makes it itchy, and I also think it looks appalling - watching naked attraction it just looks like a parade of manky, spotty plucked chickens to me, including the men who do it.

It would be handy if there was a box you could tick to indicate your preferences I suppose (for both sexes). But if any man doesn't like it, I think that's quite a useful indicator that he's porn-addled and I wouldn't want him anyway.

Wigglegiggle0520 · 22/02/2021 19:20

You’re welcome OP.

It’s an interesting first post.

CormoranStrike · 22/02/2021 19:23

I will tell you what I tell my daughter - your body, your choice, and any man who gets that up close then judges is not worth your time.