Dating as a 55 year old...will men expect me to be bald down below??

[ConfidenceCrisis44]

Firstly yes, I know I can't date at the moment, I do not want to date at the moment, I am covid safe!

However, I am cautiously looking ahead to the summer. I have been single for 4 years, was married for 20 years before that. In my teens/twenties pubic hair was never much of an issue for anyone, I tidied it a bit to keep it in my pants but that was it! I am aware that things have changed and that a lot of women remove the lot these days. I assumed it was mostly the youngsters. Made the mistake of watching Naked Attraction last night and all the women are bald, even the ones in their 40s, 50s and 60s! I do realise that this is probably not a representative cross section of society, but even so, it has alarmed me. So, does anyone know, what are older men's expectations here?? I really want to stay au naturel! But would be mortified to put someone off because of it!

Not in your situation but if I were , can honestly say it wouldn’t have entered my head what men “expected” in that regard.

You are what you are. Anyone who expected me to change what I’m comfortable with after decades of experimenting would not be the one for me.

Male here.....

First of all, it's your body to do with what you wish, and if anybody doesn't like it, they know where they can go.

Being in my 50s personally I would prefer a small amount of topiary down below just to keep things trim, but bald.....no no no!!!

It is a bit awkward though in that you could be getting to know someone /dating for a bit and then it's suddenly all off because he doesn't do pubes. That would be an annoying waste of time. But if you don't leave it until you're actually in bed, when do you bring it up?

Could you do one side? You know hedge your bets (no pun intended!)

I mean I don't like big beards much but at least they're on display and I can avoid them to begin with IYSWIM...

I would assume that any single man in his mid 50s would be so delighted to find himself in the vicinity of a real, willing vagina that the quantity of hair surrounding it would be the last thing on his mind.

From the one time I shaved it all off, and from DP:

"I didn't notice, sorry- I was getting sex, not thinking about hairdos"

FFS. Do whatever you want with YOUR HAIR. It’s fine to have a preference but any man who tries to shame you because you have perfectly natural hair is probably an arsehole and therefore best avoided.

I can’t imagine any man stressing about whether his pubic hair will be a turn off. Most of the men i’ve (ahem) met think their dicks are the best thing in the world. I think more women need to have this attitude instead of constantly worrying whether their body parts are ‘good enough’.

If you want hair, great. If you don’t want hair, also great. You do you.

Just a heads-up that it all falls out after menopause anyway. Although mine is being selective and looks like a monk's head.

I'm casually seeing someone, we haven't done the deed yet but he has hinted about his preference for no hair. I'm thinking of buying some woo woo cream for the next time I meet up with him !

I'm in the 35-40 age breaker and I use an electronic trimmer and trim it right down. Never like bald shave! In my younger days yeah but no one is a fan of ingrown pubes. I personally feel cleaner when it's all off.

@Frazzlefrazle I don’t think that’s particularly funny. Why did your husband think he should comment on your natural body hair just before you gave birth. Hilarious.

I take it all off but that's because it's my preference and always has been, I wouldn't let it grow (or vice versa if it applied) to cater to a man's preference.

That being said, I can't imagine wanting to give oral sex to a woman with an untamed bush.

Men's pubic hair doesn't usually grow all the way down the shaft, but if you're giving a woman oral sex and she has wild pubic hair you're literally getting mouthfuls of it.

For that reason alone I would assume they'd like it to be trimmed at least.

But it's your body. Do what you're comfortable with.

@extentioncord

So, does anyone know, what are older men's expectations here??

It doesn't matter.

I really want to stay au naturel!

Then do that.

But would be mortified to put someone off because of it!

If pubic hair puts him off, he isn't the one anyway.

This post has answered it all.

I personally prefer no public hair on me so I get it waxed off (at the moment though, it's painful and lengthy sessions with eyebrow tweezers). I don't care what my husband or anybody else thinks, it's mine and I don't want it there.

We need to have our hair, pubic or otherwise, any which way we want it to be and not be influenced by what we think (or hear) that other people want. They can do what they want with their own hair.

@secretrugbyfan

Male here.....

First of all, it's your body to do with what you wish, and if anybody doesn't like it, they know where they can go.

Being in my 50s personally I would prefer a small amount of topiary down below just to keep things trim, but bald.....no no no!!!

Good to know. When is the best time to broach this with you, so as not to get a 'no no no' kind of response?

Wait a couple of years until the menopause and it all falls out. Mine is practically bald.

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles

Could you do one side? You know hedge your bets (no pun intended!)

This is a severely under appreciated comment

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

The 'no' in my answer was to address the OP's question about what is an older man's expectation.

So for clarity, no, I do not expect a woman to be bald...it is her choice.

Apologies if my previous post caused offence.

@Herselfindoors watching naked attraction it just looks like a parade of manky, spotty plucked chickens to me, including the men who do it.

I agree absolutely. I remember hearing about an artist who fainted the first time he saw his wife naked because he hadn't expected any foliage downstairs! I don't think they had sex ever again or indeed at the first time!

Doing sex dating at 50 with a range OF ages, most men asked what I had in the way of hair, because they wanted to imagine. It wasnt a dealbreaker for any. Some preferred hair, some preferred smooth. They got what they got. Men in their 50s are great. Some are v grateful to get anything at all

Early 40s, single(ish) and the only hair on my body is on my head. This has been my choice since mid teens and l can’t imagine being any other way.

But l’ve never done it for anyone else, l do it for me. I’ve even been asked to grow it by some people along the way (refused!).

For me, it feels better this way and increases sensitivity with oral, but i don’t think i have come across expectations along the way.

@lollipoprainbow

I'm casually seeing someone, we haven't done the deed yet but he has hinted about his preference for no hair. I'm thinking of buying some woo woo cream for the next time I meet up with him !

Unless you're planning to do a shared pre-sex hair removal, why on earth would you do that?

This is a perfect example of sexism in action. Women get tied to an expensive, time consuming, uncomfortable ritual, that would never even enter the heads of most men to actually do themselves.

I'm with most people on this thread, he could take me as I come, or fuck off.

I actually think the younger generation are far more forgiving (?) if that’s the right word about this sort of stuff than we give them credit for, it’s the older lot that have harsh opinions about body hair. My dd is 18 and her and her friends are really hippy ish when it comes to attitudes to body hair - legs, arm pits and the works - anything goes! I’m 40 and I’m still stuck in the 90s mindset of less is more. I don’t think anyone really cares anymore, I think they just choose bald people on naked attraction because they’re the kind of people who are more likely to be quite exhibitionist anyway and want to show everything off and what better way to do that than shave it all!