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Has anyone managed to lose weight by changing their relationship with food?

20 replies

theonewiththenamechangee · 25/10/2020 13:38

I am so fed up with dieting. Has anyone managed to lose weight by changing their relationship with food? I have realised that no diet will solve my problems, it goes deeper than just intermittent fasting or counting calories.

I am in my mid 20s and I have tried it all. I watched all of my older female relatives going through the dieting cycle and I vowed to never be like them when I was a teenager and yet here I am...

OP posts:
DianaT1969 · 25/10/2020 14:34

It's good to question this now. Personally, I think hormones are key and also insulin resistance is often a factor. Get your hormones balanced and overcome insulin resistance and there's less reason to overeat.
Eating through boredom, or to squash down feelings, is hard to overcome.

rslsys · 25/10/2020 14:45

I'm doing SoberOctober, not changed any other aspect of my diet and have dropped 10lb in three weeks - so that is going to be giving me some food for thought. (See what I did there?)

Nackajory · 25/10/2020 14:52

Yes, I only eat things with high nutritional value. I've got to know it's doing something for me. I don't calorie count although I do fast but not if it's uncomfortable to do so. Again, if it's doing my health good I'll do it, if it's not right that day I won't. And I'm fairly mindful when I'm eating. I eat actual food not stuff in shiny packets.
I can't beleive I used to shovel carbs in mindlessly whilst staring at the telly or drinking .

DianaT1969 · 25/10/2020 15:16

Intermittent fasting was the one thing that really changed my relationship with food. I now know that I can go long periods without it, and not only feel fine, but feel better. Less sluggish, more energised and happier.
Eating low carb was also an eye-opener, because my moods levelled out and I hadn't realised that carbs affected them.

Merrythought · 25/10/2020 15:20

Read ‘Just Eat It’ by Laura Thomas. Life-changing, even if it is a bit sweary.

Popototo · 25/10/2020 15:20


I used to yo yo up and down in weight, having long periods of "bring good" (restricting) followed by overeating (binging). Reading Brain over Binge (it's also a podcast) changed my life.

I've maintained a healthy weight for more than 5 years now. No ups and downs, no binges or restrictions, just eating what I want. As I said, life changing.

Nicelunch25 · 25/10/2020 15:21

Yes. I got more into running and noticed that if I eat bad crap I had no energy for it. Also certain stuff will give me runners runs. I try and (mostly) eat stuff with some sort of nutritional value. But I still treat myself to an occasional treat and feel no guilt. I think it's important not to feel deprived. The worst feeling used to be the old "I'll start my diet on Monday" and feeling like I had a miserable slog ahead of me.

Nicelunch25 · 25/10/2020 15:23

What you said about female relatives also really resonates with me. I did some therapy type work on the ideas we get in childhood which affect our adult ideas. I saw my mum on lots of different diets and never happy with her weight so did get the wrong programming on this. Really looking at the misconceptions helped me here.

AlmondOil · 25/10/2020 15:24

I eat 'clean', proper food.

I don't 'treat' myself with over processed crap that is bad for me. I don't eat sugar.

I started low carbing loosely about a year ago and now I can't stand the taste of sugar or sweet today all. I don't crave anything bad.

My skin is better, I'm less tired, my mood is better.

schmalex · 25/10/2020 15:24

Yes! I've lost a stone over the past year by stopping dieting and instead focusing on eating food with high nutritional value. I've also started enjoying running and strength training. It's been way more effective than calorie counting, which always makes me obsess about food and end up bingeing.

InFlagranteDerelicto · 25/10/2020 15:25

Sounds like Intuitive Eating may be helpful for you. There's some good podcasts available. No cost, no time restrictions etc.

ThatScottishGirl · 25/10/2020 15:26

I know that personally I need to stop viewing food as a treat.

ErinTingey · 25/10/2020 15:26

For me it was always exercise that was the key. I love my food but I need to exercise it off. When I got depressed, I got fat as I spent day after day in bed drinking wine and trying to be unconscious.

ilovetomatoes · 25/10/2020 15:28

Fasting worked for me. I respond to hunger now rather than eating because it’s a certain time or mindlessly snacking in the evening. Still early days for me but so far so good

titchy · 25/10/2020 15:29

Accept that whatever pattern of eating you do has to be a lifetime pattern. So think hard about what enjoyment you get from food and what your new lifetime diet (as in style of eating, not short term weight loss eating) and go from there.

I've lost over a stone not snacking. I realised I never used to snack, and was quite happy not having more than three meals a day, maybe a once a week bar of chocolate, occasional pudding and limitless wineGrinso that's what I now do and intend to do for the rest of my days.

justanotherneighinparadise · 25/10/2020 15:29

Yes I eat low carb/Keto. I have finally found a way of eating that I love, keeps me full, no cravings. My energy is constant. It’s honestly a dream. The sugar train is a very bad one and you don’t know till you get off it.

MattBerrysHair · 25/10/2020 15:33

I stopped thinking of sweet carby stuff as treat food and started to view food as medicine. Nutrient rich foods made me feel better and empty calories made me feel tired, sluggish and even Ill. I used to binge on Danish pastries, sweets and crisps and always felt shit afterwards. I lost weight over lockdown by cutting out sugar and carbs, cooking from scratch and really thinking about what was going into my body. I never counted calories and did no extra exercise. I'm no longer overweight, no more IBS, no more headaches or brain fog, no more anxiety. It took a few days of feeling peculiar for my body to get used to no sugar and low carbs, but nothing too uncomfortable.

ThatScottishGirl · 25/10/2020 15:37

@justanotherneighinparadise how long did you miss sugar for? Even when I’m eating low calories I always factor in 100-200 worth of chocolate/biscuits per day and think it’s ok but maybe I should try and kick that habit.

justanotherneighinparadise · 25/10/2020 16:46

Honestly honestly (honestly) calorie counting is a futile exercise. I know this is a bone of contention but I actually proved it myself a weeks ago. I had stalled with Keto and thought Michael Moseley’s fast800 plan might kick me out if the stall. I stuck to it for a week and I put on 3lb!!!! I knew it was too high in sugar even though it’s marketed as low carb. I thought sod it, let’s give it a go and I couldn’t believe how starving hungry i was and then I put on bloody weight!!!!! Thankfully I was able to get a refund or else I’d have been mighty pissed off.

This for me was the nail in the coffin of calories meaning anything if you’re insulin resistant. They are just absolute bullshit. Too much energy can absolutely lead to weight gain, but calories mean nothing to the body.

Thankfully I’m now on day three off of MM’s plan and the three pound has gone. I’m back in mild Ketosis (I have a keytone breath monitor that tells me) and I’m back to burning fat. My ratios to lose weight have to be high fat, low to moderate protein and negligible carbs. I also need to have my last meal around 4pm so there’s some loose intermittent fasting going on each day too.

I don’t miss sugar. I ate some berries today, a handful of raspberries, and I had half a teaspoon of Xylitol in my coffee. If I was a sweet fix I tend to have a glass of milk after some food, or some berries, or add some Cacao powder to some mascapone. There are masses of Keto deserts but I don’t really want to fall down that rabbit hole if I can help it as it will stall weight loss.

I’m a 10/12 now. BMI 24. My plan is to lose another 7lbs so I need to be strict.

AlmondOil · 25/10/2020 17:35


Totally with you on the calories.

Yes, you'll lose weight if you stick to 1000/1200 calories a day but only for a short time until your metabolism is fucked. And you'll always be hungry.

I can have raspberries and blueberries with fresh double cream now and it tastes sweet to me! My daughter bought some haribos the other day. I had one of the tiny bears and it was vile - ridiculously sweet and just nasty.

I've lost more weight doing low carb and eating around 1600 cals a day than I ever did counting and weighting and restricting.

Funny that low cal/low fat is seen as sensible but low carb/eating to your TDEE is seen as a silly fad.

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