WWYD - cross dressing

[NamechangeforAIBU]

Not intended to offend/provoke any kind of trans rights debates etc. Just intended to give a friend things to think on. She has asked to guage some opinions, but doesn't want her own account.

Friends husband is cross dressing in secret. Friend has found out and is feeling uncomfortable.
She tells me they haven't spoken about it yet, but wants to have some thoughts arranged before.
She doesn't feel comfortable with the idea and isn't sure that it's something she can accept in her marriage. My opinion is that she shouldn't be forced to accept this when he's changing something so fundamental about their marriage. She feels like that she would be 'anti trans' - she's not, or would be rejecting the person she's married to, when it's something that he clearly wants.

Has anyone been here please? Can anyone assist with any points to think about for her?

It is not a trans issue, because her husband hasn't told her that he is transgender - wearing womens clothing doesn't mean that a man identifies as a woman, likewise a woman wearing mens clothing doesn't mean that she identifies as a man - it also doesn't change their sexuality. However - your friend does not have to be comfortable with this.

We all have our own preferences and boundaries when it comes to who we are attracted to and if your friend isn't attracted to her husband dressing in womens clothing then there is nothing wrong with that. It is hard because I'm sure otherwise your friend is very happy and very much in love with her husband, and I do think it is unfair to say that she should force her husband to stop doing something that is harmless and done in private. How did she find out? Did she walk in on him or did he tell her? This is obviously a very personal problem that only your friend can know her feelings on, I think she needs to have a frank and honest conversation with her husband but ultimately if she finds that she is no longer attracted to him and doesn't think the marriage will work then there is nothing wrong with that.

Cross dressing is now widely recognised as being under the transgender umbrella.