What is the funniest review you have ever read?

[ILikeGlitter]

I have just read through the Amazon review for sugar free gummy bears and was laughing so much I cried. There are too many to post here but if you search it on amazon you can see what I mean.
Anyone else read a review online that made them chuckle?

Jay Rayner in The Guardian on restaurants.

Barnard Castle reviews on trip advisor after the Dominic Cummings carry-on were v funny.

Not a review, but a job ad, requiring waste disposal staff, described the role and how to apply etc, the next line said don’t ask your your mum to ring the office.

I was looking for a new dishwasher and reading reviews. One chap said this one was great, he loved having a dishwasher, it meant his wife had more time for blow jobs

This thread is going to be my evening’s entertainment.

I used to proof read recipes reviews on a cooking website. Virtually every single one went along the lines of

I substituted the chicken for bananas, and don’t like spicy food so used ketchup and cooked for 4 hours rather than an hour. It was horrible, do not recommend.

(Slight exaggeration, but you get my drift).

I read one today for the 30 Day Shred which gave it one star and read "I've been watching this for months and i'm still fat." That did make me giggle!

@kursaalflyer

I remember this man selling his leather trousers on eBay and the Q&A that followed. So glad it's still around! [[https://www.banterist.com/ebay]]dknyymens1/

😂🤣😂 thank you for bringing this into my life

Ocado stamps. Just because it's such a standard product, I love that someone went out of their easy to make it funny!

There is a FANTASTIC thread in Classics about funny Trip Advisor reviews. From back t' olden days of MN before everyone turned weird and things were funny. Well worth a read! I'll find it and link

Someone on Twitter described a performance by Jedward as like two untrained monkeys throwing shit at each other.

These are brilliant, can’t wait to rtft, keep getting distracted! I once wrote a somewhat scathing review on the back of a talk talk offer envelope, asking me to come back to them after some breathtakingly awful customer service for a very long time. Sentences such as ‘I’d rather pull out my own fingernails and insert them into my eyeballs than come back to your totally inept and incredibly incompetent service’ (that’s the mild PG version) may have been uttered. DH tried to persuade me not to send it.

All I can say is, I don’t remember sending it. But they’ve never contacted me since.

I now wish I’d photographed the review I didn’t send my one brief moment of lyrical inspiration, alas I will never recapture that fleeting gift 🤦🏻‍♀️

NME did a scathing review of R Kelly years ago which finished with “R Kelly. Arse Kelly more like”, we still quote that.

Also my friend had a terrible experience at a cafe in Kent. I looked on Trip Advisor and found this in the one star reviews, not so much funny as shocking.

“ They gave my friend an anaphylaxis and were rude!

The Full English was served with walnut bread (atypical ingredients in a Full English???). My best friends killer. He has an unfortunate and extreme allergy to nuts. This was not mentioned on the menu and when this was swiflty bought to the manageress' attention she showed absolutely no sign of acknowledgment or responsibility.

Before I rushed my friend to A&E she had the audacity to add 'You've just got two free breakfasts out of me'. I couldn't believe the insensitivity. Had she shown more consideration I probably would have let this incident go. But she was so cold, rude and uncaring I never want to go back again. Luckily, my friend survived but we missed the ceremony of our best friends wedding!!!!

Needless to say we partied our arses off at the reception to celebrate a double whammy. Our friend's holy matrimony and his survival!!!”

@BadLad thanks for that, been reading the playmobil bad reviews and having a chuckle. I guess I am myself a bit racist as I have always suspected that Dora the Explorer of possibly being an illegal

Not a proper review but what came to mind was that Simpson's episode where Mel Gibson has a new film out and the Springfield residents are saying how great it is and Mel is bored until Homer critiques it and he writes "your movie sucked. It was more boring than church" and Mel G is like " he's right! That film was terrible! I didn't shoot anyone! What was I thinking? "

@GlummyMcGlummerson I can just imagine! "I was looking forward to the Sistine chapel so much but my experience was totally ruined by this woman screaming! Her DH tried to excuse her by saying she is sensitive but it just isn't good enough! I was so distraught that I couldn't enjoy my naice Waitrose ham and Sharon's waspy wine! It wasn't nice trip anyway to be honest. My husband yelled very loudly about my minge being on display when I was trying to enjoy the hotel pool and I snapped and farted and was made too leave the pool because of the bubbles. .. "

Reviews on TripAdvisor of the Peacock Inn at Bakewell. The landlord is vicious to people who give poor reviews - sarky, aggressive and calls them liars, and even makes personal remarks about their intelligence or characters. Blisteringly funny to read, but he seems like a bit of a tool.

The Peacock Inn reviews remind me of the Fat Seagull reviews which were featured in a thread a while ago.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0047E0EII/ref=cmswwemrrmtdpp_fZCqFb695VQS3

A oldy but a goody

I like the trip advisor review of Ben Nevis "very steep and too high"

An Amazon review of the utterly dire Shantaram. The reviewer does a spoof of the author's towering arrogance and appalling writing style.

@AndNoneForGretchenWieners

Reviews on TripAdvisor of the Peacock Inn at Bakewell. The landlord is vicious to people who give poor reviews - sarky, aggressive and calls them liars, and even makes personal remarks about their intelligence or characters. Blisteringly funny to read, but he seems like a bit of a tool.

I started reading his responses and couldn’t help imagining him as Basil Fawlty angrily tapping away until smoke erupts from his keypad.

I started reading his responses and couldn’t help imagining him as Basil Fawlty angrily tapping away until smoke erupts from his keypad.

I did get the impression from the way he wrote that he modelled himself on Basil Fawlty.

There are some good Barnard Castle reviews on TripAdvisor.

The gummy bears thread is hilarious!! I once read one from a parent saying a toy something like: took some of my positivity away when helping my son to build this. He thought it was the best fun ever. I want to give it a 0 star but he wants to give it 5. He loves it. I want to smash it and then my head off a wall'

Or another was

I think it's rubbish but my granddaughter thinks it's the best thing ever

@midsomermurderess

It's a terrible, terrible book that I also unwisely persevered with when it came out. I was looking at the one star reviews just now and one is simply called "Shiteram."