Ideas please on how to send this delightful find back to exH

[Pelagi]

Briefly - I separated from H last year, found out he was having an affair so told him to leave. Since then I’ve found out about at least two other affairs covering the majority of the last decade of our marriage. One was with my oldest and (I thought) best friend. So, pretty terrible but I’ve been coping ok.

I’ve been sorting out some cupboards to get out stuff that is “his” that I don’t want around the house so I can give it back to him next time I take the children to his.

In a box of his stuff I found an unopened and obviously un-sent greeting card saying “If I had my life over again I would find you sooner.” Clearly intended for one of his ladies. It’s a physical stab in the heart of course but I’m wondering is there some vaguely humorous (for me) way for me to give it back to him? Or just leave it conspicuously on the top of a box of old cassettes or something?

Or just not even bother?

Why hurt yourself this way.
He will only make a pointed comment.
Just bin the card.

Jam all of his stuff higgeldy piggledy into a box - just sweep it off the shelves, along with the stupid greetings card so it's all jumbled and mixed and when he finds it hopefully he will feel like a right prat. Because he is. You don't care, that's the message you need to give him.

I'd pack all his stuff up and leave it on the top like you've said.

In my head would write...

Sorry XH, not sure if this refers to integrity, fidelity or just a decent set of morals. You were clearly unable to send it as you didn't find any.

But, yeah, just pack it and ignore.

Hope you're doing ok

Jam all of his stuff higgeldy piggledy into a box - just sweep it off the shelves, along with the stupid greetings card so it's all jumbled and mixed and when he finds it hopefully he will feel like a right prat. Because he is. You don't care, that's the message you need to give him.

I agree with this. The best way is indifference, nothing seems to hurt people as much as finding out the other person is indifferent to them.

Whereas doing anything pointed, even "subtlely" just shows that at some level you still care about what he thinks. Dont' give him that power.

I wouldn't bother OP - don't look back.

Score out find and write ‘dump’ or just bin it. He won’t care whatever you do.

I'd just bin the lot tbh. If he wanted it he'd have been back for it or asked for it by now. xxx

Cross out 'find' and write 'leave'?
Or light a barbeque with it.

Yeah I know, the best thing is of course to just do and say nothing. But it’s fun (!!) to imagine writing a sticking a post-it note on it that says “you forgot to send me this” or something equally passive-aggressive.

Thank you for the flowers and good wishes. I’m doing ok, although it’s tough doing mediation, I tell you. Wish it could all be done and I never had to have anything to do with him again.

But really it would be try if I were to change “found” to “ditched” and send it to him. I very much wish I’d found out about his very first affair at the time. But that’s life.

“True” not “try”...