A funny one (well I hope you think it is)

[Mollypolly2610]

I have diverticulitis and went into the utility room and let rip!

Came out all innocent thinking it hadn’t been heard and my DH said. “Did you deflate a balloon in there?”

farts (when not used as weapons) are funny

I was disappointed when taking probiotics stopped my long drawn out farts (I live alone) and almost wanted to stop taking them

Farts will always be funny 3

I did a huge rather impressive one the other day. Took a moment to be grateful that I live alone so I can do so without judgement.

Then I heard next door cough through the wall.

Spark

A friend of mine got home, farted all the way up the hallway to the kitchen, where her daughter said "Hi mum, meet my boyfriend"

I was looking at an estate agents window once, farting akimbo. Eventually my focus transferred to inside where they were looking at me agog. The door was open because it was summer and my trumpet section was transferring perfectly inside the shop.

My husband has just discovered that Alexa can fart, in many different ways. Not funny the 10th time....

Oh these are making me laugh

I remember a story from someone on here. New boyfriend, had spent the night at his. Left in the morning with dreadful stomach ache from holding them in. Got in her car and spent a good few minutes just sitting there letting rip before she even drove off. While she was relishing the sweet relief and marvelling at the stench she got a sudden tap on the window.

Her boyfriend was there, looking horrified. She'd left something at his flat and he'd gone down to give it to her.

Best part was she had to wind down the window to take whatever it was, and the stench escaped and hit him in the face.

If I remember correctly he backed away, face contorted from the assault on his nostrils, and they didn't see each other again

I find farts way too funny.

Some of these really made me laugh! I fart so much and can’t help it!

Now the shops are emptier I often get a good fart in B and M. Don’t know why it makes me fart in there.

@Mollypolly2610 does the excitement of all the bargains generate a lot of gas or something?

I love to wind my DM up with farts when I go to see her. She's a total prude and although we both have healthy diets, they're slightly different and for whatever reason her food sets me off. I love having a serious conversation, looking her dead in the eye and while she's mid sentence letting out a huge one. It really disgusts her

Perhaps, I just always seem to fart in there for some reason! Don’t do it in Poundstretchers!

Stop it, stop it!! You're preventing me from settling down for the night.

Um, farts are NOT always funny, when someone sitting next to you does a real humdinger 😡 I rarely do smellies, but one time when I think after eating too much melty cheese or something, I spent the whole evening, every couple of minutes going outside it stank so much! At least I spared my OH, which is not reciprocated! Some of these are so funny. Nice to have a good old fashioned farty thread for a change!

Farts are always funny I don't care what you say