Really small thing but friend has really hurt my feelings.

[PriscillaTheHun]

I know I’m being a bit silly but this has hurt my feelings. Am I right to be hurt?

I have taken quite a flattering selfie using a black & white filter. I’m 50 and any picture that doesn’t make me look like an old bag is all good as far as I’m concerned.

Friend messages me and says
What filter have you used on your Facebook profile pic? I thought it was A! (A is a mutual friend several years younger than us who is very slim & attractive).

She then followed it up with this message
btw that wasn’t a compliment saying you look like A. She looks quite harsh now.

That was unnecessary and unkind wasn’t it? Having a dig at me and A in one go!

Shall I reply? And if so say what?
Or just ignore?

Absolutely text back and ask her why she's being so rude! About both A and about you!

I would reply too, it was unnecessary and unkind.

I assume she looks like a model?

That’s really horrible.

I would reply saying something like “if you read what you sent me back to yourself, does it sound like something you’d like to receive?”

Ignore it. But don't forget it.

What @PurpleDaisies said 💯%

I think it was a clumsy compliment and if there is nothing else wrong in your friendship you should just brush it off.

Just reply... How rude!

I'd just do a sarcastic 'oh thanks for that'.

Tact isn’t her strong point. What else does she offer as a friend?

It sounds to me like she’s saying the filter is too harsh, nothing about your appearance at all.

I think you’re overthinking it massively, if she’s such a good friend. Just text her back with “I can’t tell if you’re complimenting me or insulting me!”

And I know that this is the entire point of social media, but surely it’s massively vain to post a photo of yourself online if you’re only going to accept fawning praise? Maybe she said it to knock some Humble-ness back into you?

You reply 'At least it doesn't make me look like you! '

God she is tripping herself up.
Id just post a the red wine emoji

Jesus, if she’s your friend what are your enemies like!

*It sounds to me like she’s saying the filter is too harsh, nothing about your appearance at all.

I think you’re overthinking it massively, if she’s such a good friend. Just text her back with “I can’t tell if you’re complimenting me or insulting me!”*

I think you're right. She's one of those "say it as I see it" types. She's always been the same and usually I try and let it go over my head.

But this time I'm feeling rather sensitive for some reason.

I think it's because I go by the "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" philosophy.

That aint no friend!

Just don’t reply.

My friend did something similar recently I responded
‘ Not sure what to say to that ‘

Yes I would be upset too but step back and think what this says about her rather than you i.e. hardfaced so and so by the sound of it.

A good dose of sarcasm in these situations often makes me feel better, something like 'thanks for that, you're too kind, you're looking fab yourself, I thought as a friend I should tell you more often'....perhaps that's laying on bit thick but you get my drift!

Difficult... options are

1. ignore
2. call her out on her rudeness
3. laugh it off Depends on previous friendship on Wether she needs pulling up on this Or not , personally I’d go for “ did you intend that to sound mean?” Gives her the opportunity to put it right if it was a clumsy phrasing ( we all make mistakes) and makes her think twice before doing it again