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Planning to get married after big argument with partners family, I dont want to invite them!

12 replies

mummof1 · 27/12/2019 15:25

Hi guys, hoping for some advise, this is my first post!

Long story so I will just give you the key points, my only child has been raised by my partner and me (her bio dad isnt in the picture) my partner has raised her since being 6 months old (shes now 8) and he thinks the world of me and my daughter, his family have always been difficult to get along with, his dad mainly! He always speaks to his son (my partner) in an aggressive tone and try's to embarrass him in front of me, his family have never made much effect with my child so we avoid going to see them as they just tell her off for silly things, which I don't like, so for the past 7 years I have bit my tongue, but when we popped to his families house a month ago his father was the only one in the house and he told my daughter off multiple times for talking too loud, silly things like that but he really shouted at her, and then swore at me and his son (my partner) and told us we never do anything (like discipline her I suppose) and for us to take her home as she is annoying him, she wasn't doing anything wrong she is just a child, so I told him that I wasn't having him speak to her like that and that he also speaks to his son disgusting at times, he went crazy at me and kicked me out, told me never to come back, my daughter was in tears, and my partner shocked and upset, but I was expecting my partner of 7 years to stand up for us, I know he is soft and doesnt want to fall out with people but I'm disappointed, following the argument his father has kind of said sorry to my partner not to me! my partner told me that he told his father that he was wrong to talk to us like that, but thats all that's been said, over Christmas he didn't include my name on the Christmas card and didn't get me or my daughter a gift, which they normally do, me and my partner got engaged a few weeks after this argument but now I don't know what I want, I don't want his family to attend our wedding, but also can I marry someone who doesnt stand up for me, I also don't like the idea of this man being grandfather to our future children, fyi - my partner has been raised just by his dad, his mother isnt around, so my partner has been very upset by this as he is his only parent. Hope you can help x

OP posts:
mummof1 · 27/12/2019 15:26

much effort* with my child sorry for the typo

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Dowser · 27/12/2019 16:50

Well I definitely wouldn’t want him at my wedding
Have a destination wedding
Sn al off to somewhere like Tenerife.. civil ceremony before you go ... and a celebrant for your beach wedding
Ours was lovely, low key, low cost and only the ones we wanted attended

Dowser · 27/12/2019 16:50

Sneak

MrsAJ27 · 27/12/2019 17:03

Have you spoken to your partner and explained how you feel?

Cherrysoup · 27/12/2019 17:08

Don’t marry this guy, you’ll be tied to his family too. Dear god, don’t have kids with him!

mummof1 · 27/12/2019 19:19

Yes i explained how i feel. My partner wants whatever wedding i want, he is happy to exclude them and just have my family even :)

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WifOfBif · 27/12/2019 19:23

I wouldn’t marry someone who didn’t defend me in a situation like that.

FruityWidow · 27/12/2019 19:28

Elope

mummof1 · 27/12/2019 20:26

yes and he wants to get married with my family if that's what I want and not invite his

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FrogFairy · 27/12/2019 21:16

The wedding day is just one day out of the rest of your lives together.

I would think long and hard about having this man in your life, especially if you have more children. They will be treated more favourably than your daughter. You know your partner does not have your back here.

billy1966 · 27/12/2019 21:55

Well he has certainly shown you what he's like. He's weak. His father is nasty.

Your poor child being abused by that awful man.

And you want to marry him🙄

Think long and hard about your future, and that of your child.

mummof1 · 27/12/2019 22:07

Hi, my daughter hasnt been abused by my partner he loves her its his father who we see once in a blue moon and dont see anymore

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