What would be the best way to catch Father Christmas?

[Mysterian]

I'm thinking a cage at the bottom of the chimney. He must magic down small somehow and I assume that's when he's weakest. A small cage would keep him small and week giving me the chance to...take advantage.

What ways have you tried?

Don't be silly, it would never work.

I know, I've tried

Please don't! He's an old man, I'm worried a cage could cause an injury. Are you financially prepared for a lawsuit?

I like this

Ask Alexa. She has a whole load of Santa facts.

As he officially "doesn't exist", surely he can't take action against me?

Glue on your hearthstone.

You need to read Hogfather by Terry Pratchett, OP. The Hogfather is the discworld equivalent of Father Christmas; a very twisted Assassin comes up with a cracker of a plan to do him in.

DS who is 7 is planning on creating a trip wire made out of wool that is attached to a bell all the way in his room so when Santa triggers it the bell will ring and wake him up. Apparently he will then use his nerf gun to subdue Santa.

He's also announced this year that Santa isn't actually real so I'm not sure who he planning on catching

A huge great net activated as he reaches for the mince pie and milk/whisky/egg nog.

Tie a bit of string around your big toe and then the other end to your closed bedroom door. NB - only works if your bedroom door opens outwards.

Taking advantage? What are you planning on doing . He is oold and not very attractive. Each to their own, but how desperate are you .

Tell us your plans (unless you are 8).

The kids variously tried filming him - some video camera triggered by movement; one of those annoying things that goes off if someone crosses the laser, flour on the floor, taking it in turns to stay up, no idea what else but they never managed.....

Drug the whiskey. Simple.