OMG I'm a fucking idiot and should never get behind a wheel again

[MyGhastIsFlabbered]

I'm mortified and am hoping that by sharing my idiocy that I might start to see the funny side of this.

Pulled into a car park for a busy fish and chip shop and Co-op. No spaces so I have to attempt to turn. Car park is on a slope. Reverse back as far as I can and try to go forward...car keeps going backward. Attempt this several times, same result.

By now quite a crowd have gathered, as I'm blocking people in; one man offers to drive my car. No, I can manage. He offers to push my car too. Bear in mind I'd actually switched my car off at this point.

Get back in, try again, still going backwards...by this time I'm dangerously close to a brick column. I get out and ask a couple of lads to give me a push to get me moving forwards.

Get back in...and realise the whole time I'd been putting the car into fucking reverse...of course it wasn't going to go forward.

Drive home absolutely mortified. I'm going to have to emigrate to Mars aren't I?

oh that’s made me laugh after a crap day so thank you. You could maybe get away by buying a new car and a disguise so nobody recognises you ... Mars seems a little drastic.

Yes

I feel your pain

I once left my handbrake on while driving and I blamed my brother (who had driven it last) and said he'd broken my car.
I'm still not sure how I managed to drive with the handbrake on

Don't go to MARS, go to specsavers . ha ha,

Emigrate - it's the only way, sorry .
Slightly perplexed when you kept going backwards that you didn't twig it must be in reverse. You were flustered I know

Oooops!

We've all been there! no we haven't but I'm trying to make you feel better!

reminds me of the time when I couldn't drive off in a rental car.
I just couldn't figure out how to get it out of reverse gear. it was one of those cars where you had to pull the gear stick thingy. I had not come across one like that before.

My cara beeps loudly if you try to move when the handbrake is on. It always takes me the longest time to work out what the problem is

I once thought I was turning into the access road to a little car park in front of shops...I actually mounted the pavement before the access road then had to just keep going and bump down the huge kerb into the parking space on the other side of the pavement. I was so worried that my tiny car would get stranded on the pavement like a turtle on a brick because the kerbs were so high and the pavement was quite narrow .

Also DH once decided to drive forward out of a car park space instead of reversing...there was a massive kerb in front and he dislodged the whole front bumper.

I have accidentally reversed when pulling out of a junction
Luckily it was earlier than anyone should ever have to wake up, so there was no one behind me.

Op I did exactly this when I was going through a stressful time. Couldn't figure out why I couldn't find the biting point and was 'rolling' backward. I actually drove into a wall and damaged the car so give yourself a pat on the back, you did better than me!

I did this the other way around. I was trying to reverse up a hill so I could pull out of a parking space by my parent's house. Tried once and the car rolled forwards. Thought I just didn't have the biting point so put my foot on the gas. Went straight into the back of my mum's car. Turns out I'd put the car in first gear instead of reverse. Worst part was my dad watched the whole thing

Not so much the wrong gear, but definitely with the hand break on. Usually when getting out of my building's garage, on reverse, with a steep slope.

Funnily enough just this evening I was driving down a narrow country lane and tried to put my headlights on full beam but they would not work. I pulled the level, I pushed the lever but they would just not come on. I was thinking that I would have to tell my DC that there was another problem with the car( it is not true that yesterday I left my lights on a with engine off and needed him to rescue me with the jump leads!) Anyhoo I got to the end of the lane down to a narrow street and flashed my lights to give another car access. ( yes I know it's illegal and all that s**t) .......I had only been trying to turn on full beam by flicking the bloody windscreen wiper lever .

Not long after I passed my tes I managed to freewheel down a hill because I didn’t switch the ignition on. I thought I had but turned out I’d only put the electrics on. Took handbrake off and away I went.

I just couldn’t understand why I had no control. Luckily the brake worked and I pulled over.

I’m lucky I didn’t meet anyone coming the other way because there were parked cars on either side and no space to pass side by side.

Not my finest hour.

I phoned my husband to tell him my car was losing power and being spluttery at junctions/roundabouts and then I realised I hadn't pressed the (A) button and the music to loud to realise my car was cutting the engine when stopped, I felt very silly when I discovered what I had done but I did fess up to my stupidity.

DH car has an automotive handbrake. Mine is manual.
He went away for the week and I drove his car all week. When he came back I went back to my car, pulled up outside the house, got to the front door to realise the car was rolling away, had to run after the car, try and get the door open, jump in and put the brake on before it hit something!!!

I once drove my mother's automatic Volvo. Went to put petrol in, paid and tried to leave. Like you the car only went backwards. Foolishly I put my foot down harder and shot back into the petrol pump behind. Luckily no damage.

Yep, I hadn't put it into 'drive'

Worse for me Mother was in the car and never let me live it down.

No one was hurt