Things you never want to hear your children say.....

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

Rockpooling today with 4yo DD. After a bit, she got bored so started a game where she pointed at a pool, and I had to see if "anyone was living there".

She pointed to a small pool near where she was sitting. Obediently, I made a show of searching through it. "Nothing in here!"

"No," she replied thoughtfully, "there aren't any snails in that one. Because it's made of my wee."

Anyone else care to share?

About 25 years ago my ds1

ds, Look mummy half a worm
me, how do you know it's only half a worm?
ds, the other halves in my tummy.

A very alarming one from DSS (10) the other night! I’m pregnant and we have talked about baby names with the kids a little bit. We are fairly set on first name but still coming up with ideas for middle names. He helpfully suggested “whore” to DP. I think DP was just stunned and said no. I’m quite glad I wasn’t in the room at the time. We have no idea where his idea came from and DP was too stunned to make further inquiries!

My then 4 year old -
"Mummy I putted it and I can't get it back."
Me "You put what?"
Him (points at his own nose) "I putted it and it won't come back."
He'd put Lego up there. Too far up for me to hook it out. Trip to the walk in centre for us.
The only thing worse was three days earlier when my elder child came running up to me after playing with his friends after school: -
"Mummy, I've broken my arm!"
He'd fallen all of about two foot from the okay equipment and landed palm out. I believed it was painful, but didn't believe it was broken so we started walking home from school.
Half way home - "Mummy it hurts and I feel ill."
He'd turned a nasty shade of grey and sat down and refused to move. I had to call my mum to come get us.
It was indeed broken. 😖

Okay equipment? Play! Play!