Does this sound like a polite brush-off or genuinely busy ?

[French189]

I was set up with a friend's flatmate; she passed my number onto him and he texted me 2 days later. I'm 28 and I believe he's 23, and he lives about 60 miles away.
We were texting for a few days and then he asked me to meet for a coffee. I said that would be with pleasure, and suggested this coming Friday.
He said he would be keen to come to my city, couldn't do this Friday and would then be away for a few weeks, and asked me if weekdays were possible.
I said I'd be free on Thursday, and he said sorry he wasn't, he would be free the final week of August but then 'busy the whole month of September' due to going back home for a month. Then put, 'sorry, not really thought this through have I'.
He seems nice, but not sure whether this is a brush-off from him or it's genuine ? Just seems weird to ask me out, suggest coming to my town then suddenly change your mind the next day but not uncommon in dating.
What do others think ?

I don't think it's that promising tbh. Not necessarily a brush off as such but he's not really making himself available and with the distance I'm not sure I would bother trying to get this one off the ground really. Find someone nearer. If he was keen to see you he would make it happen in my view. Sorry.

It sounds like your friend badgered him into this and his heart isn't in it. I'd give up if I were you

I think the not thinking it through makes it sound genuine.
Sounds like you love to far away from each other though.

I don’t know OP because I make plans and realise I have plans and things change all of the time he might be genuine.. the fact he said ‘haven’t thought this through’ makes me feel like it’s just that... he hasn’t got much of a working brain like me

It sounds like he really just hasn't 'thought this through', he probably is genuine, but if he's so busy and could only meet up once for a coffee until October and lives in a different city is it really worth it? I'd probably be leaving this one OP it seems like a lot of disappointment ahead for you if you don't.

Thanks for the replies ! Yeah hopefully it is genuine, but as others have said, even if I saw him in August, I would then have to wait another month, maybe best to leave it for now, maybe get back in touch later down the line depending on circumstances

What do you care either way? Just get on with your life rather than fretting whether or not a complete stranger wants to meet you for coffee at the end of October!!!

Sorry, end of Sept.

So the distance is always going to be a practical issue in maintaining a relationship. I would send one more message in light hearted mode saying something like 'oh well, maybe it's not meant to be right now, but drop me a line if you're coming this way' and then forget about it entirely and look for guys living near you. If he then wants to make the effort, he will, but don't sit around stressing about it.

I agree with butterymuffin, say that then see what happens.

Sounds genuine (but busy) to me. If it was a brush off he likely wouldn't have suggested it in the first place, or apologised for not having thought through how busy he is.

Ok, be breezy, tell him to get in touch in October when he's back and you can meet for coffee. Leave it there.

Thanks for the replies, I am not really fretting, I will forget it in a day, just wanted to see whether it was worth bothering with or not. Yeah in the end I just said something along the lines of, no worries, have a good holiday if you fancy meeting up when you're back ! So it leaves the ball in his court so to speak, if he doesn't ever contact me i'm sure I will live !

And drop me a text if you fancy meeting up when you're back *