Husband won't have a vasectomy

[Michessex15]

Hi. I am 41 nearly 42 with 5 children . The youngest is 1. I don't want to go on pill as I feel too old. I looked into getting sterilised but Dr said I would need help as would be hard for me after surgery with kids. My husband quite happy for me to go ahead and do this . Even though I have done my bit of carrying kids and giving birth etc. The youngest 3 are ours together and I have 2 from a previous. He refuses to have the snip but at 53 nearly 54 I don't see why he can't. He has shouted at me over it . I'm too scared to get pregnant again and he won't use protection. Before I got preg with my fifth I was so tired a the time from doing everything. He never helps as he thinks because he works it's ok. I told him I was tired one night he said " I get it from somewhere else then " . This hurt me . Yes muggy here still had a fifth baby. But she is beautiful and o don't regret it. When I had her I was induced and bled alot and was ill through the birth. After everything he saw me go through he was saying " I'm tired" " I'm hungry" when I go finally had her. He touched my foot briefly and said " well done". That was it. No kiss nothing. I was so upset. I said now you see me go through that maybe time to have the snip. He raised his voice and said " I told you no and i thought you was getting sterilised" . I have only slept with him a hand full of times and just want him to get the snip

Thanks grimbles.

He said he will pay bills and mortgage and going to rent a room until he gets place sorted. I said I will lose money in a break I booked for family as I don't like driving on motorways long distance with kids alone.so he shouted " learn to drive then" I said why shout . He said " not like I swore ". This reminded me what a pig he is. I was in tears and he was rolling his eyes. I was saying arev not sorry and he said he has nothing to be sorry for.

He is back as sorting stuff but I want him gone again

So he's going to pay your bills and mortgage for the six-bedroomed house you feel you need, and you're complaining you're going to have to drive outside your comfort zone?

If he gets a good solicitor you're in for a bit of a wake-up call.

He said he will pay bills and mortgage

He's not that much of a bully then is he, because that sounds really reasonable of him. Furthermore, you're whinging about driving on the motorway, that's your own issue, why are you making it his? Your attitude here has shown a lot and no one here has once bullied you, just because you've been pulled up on some of the things you have said. People disagreeing does not make them a bully, I wish people would stop throwing the word around so easily.

I do hope he gets a good solicitor too and things are done fairly, it shouldn't just be your demands.

Also remember he's been paying for your two teenagers that are not his and will continue to do so, he doesn't sound as unreasonable as you have tried to make him out to be. Most will only care towards their own.

I haven't asked him to pay for my two. I have po it up with verbal abuse and name calling on a daily basis.

It seems to me that divorcing him would kill two proverbial stones with one throw.

Birds not stones.

But you are asking him to pay for your two, because you think he should pay for the six-bedroomed house he won't be living in so they can each have a room of their own.

IDK where you got the idea that you get to stay in an increasingly-empty house, bills paid, for another 17 years, but I can assure you that it's totally unrealistic. Yes, you are entitled to half of the house and other assets of the marriage but so is he. He's also entitled to somewhere decent to live, somewhere he can take the children when he has them. Unless there's a lot of money around the house is going to have to be sold so that both of you get a fair share. I suggest you get yourself to a solicitor and get some proper legal advice.

And telling you what you don't want to hear is not being nasty.

Wow.

@Michessex15 Do you have anger problems? Is this how you are with others, when they pull you up on things or say something you don't want to hear, you tell them to fuck off and get rude?

Just because I've pointed out things - taken from your own words does not mean I'm nasty. If you only want people to pity you and agree with you, this isn't the place.

Grow up and learn to respect others, you were dismissive of your ex husbands body, which shows it has to be your way or no way.

Also as long as you're living in the home that HE brought and HE is paying all the bills, he is paying for your teenage daughters that are not his. He deserves to have a right to things to and I hope he does lawyer up well to ensure he's not taken for a ride. But the fact he is paying for everything still shows he isn't so bad - that is all.

anger problems you say?
not 'alf!
🤦

Hi
I am in the same scenario. I have problems with my pregnancy. We have 3 kids. Honestly I was a complete wreck when Pg shaking uncontrollably could walk talk see. I had neurological problems. Never met anyone as bad as me at Pg. We had great sex life before but after car crash pg we have had penatration sex since. I've been waiting for sterilisation for 2 years and we have argued about it so much. After the pain and suffering I went though it's a about time he did something. Why do the women have to go though all this pain I thought men were supposed to be brave.

I have to say this lady seems to be going through a lot but there are a lot of BITCHY people on here. Hope you and your kids find a happy resolution

The thread is from July. You might want to start your own thread mushroom, if you want to?