How much do you/you OH know about your family financial situation?

[munemema]

I am a saver. DH is a spender who had debts when we met.

I refused to marry him until the debts were sorted (which he did himself under my guidance ) and I've managed the money ever since.

We actually now have a fairly comfortable position, due in part to both him and me earning more in our respective careers than we would have ever thought possible when we started out but also because I prudently overpaid the mortgage and made sure we always lived well within our means. Apart from the mortgage we have never borrowed for anything in 30 years - I was always taught if you can't pay for it you can't afford it!

Anyway, DH knows very little of any of this. He is accustomed to going to the cash point/using his card for everyday purchases and we discuss anything larger but he has no idea of the state of our savings accounts. I haven't hidden it, he simply isn't interested.

I have joked several times that I could take it all when I run off with the milkman and DH would have no idea what he'd lost financially. This doesn't seem to bother him.

It would make me feel very insecure and whilst I'd like to think that I'd be decent if the assets every needed to be split, who knows what would happen in the bitterness of a split (please God , it won't come to that)

Anyway, I was wondering how usual it is for one partner to be so in the dark. And, if it's possible for savings, presumably it's possible for debts too?

I deal with the admin stuff such as changing providers and getting quotes purely because I have more opportunity to do so.

DH knows who everything is with though and our financial situation.

I’m sure it’s absolutely possible to have no idea even in a relationship where there is a lot of openness about joint finances, unless you were applying for a mortgage or otherwise needed to declare any debts or assets.

My dh and I share our joint expenses and each know about all of those as we each pay in and out of that account. But the bulk of our earnings stay in our personal accounts. I have no reason to believe I am in the dark about anything major - we both know what the other makes and we both know what’s happening with joint savings and investments. Neither of us has a credit card (as far as I know), but certainly it’s possible to have no idea as we have no knowledge really of each other’s personal spending. Neither of us is skint but I don’t really think about it and I can’t imagine my dh worries about what I spend money on. Maybe we would if spending was an issue though.

We know everything. We have a combo of joint accounts and separate accounts. But we also have a similar approach to finances, mainly that we don't like being in debt. (I do not even have a credit card). DH;s first wife was a massive spender- we are both savers.

I’ve read on Mn of posters not knowing their DH’s salary! Not met anyone in RL who doesn’t though.

I have forced knowledge on DH to make him realise that we are financially OK: he comes from a low-wage background and just assumed we lived more or less hand to mouth with a bit of a buffer in case both our jobs somehow vanished overnight.

DH is terrible in this sense. We have a joint account but all savings are in my name for tax purposes. He doesn't have a clue but is be more than happy to share the info with him if he asked.

If things go wrong I'm definitely taking all the money.

Although everything is in joint names except the NS and I stuff (of which we have equal amounts), my husband has no interest or clue. I have drawn up a document with all the info/passwords etc. It is well hidden and our kids know where it is.
I often say if he goes first I'd need a handyman; if I go first he will need a housekeeper, PA, financial advisor and tech expert. Works for us though ☺️