Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

Original poster

How do you get horrible things out of your head?

16 replies

NeverGotMyPuppy · 12/07/2019 18:02

A while ago there was a thread about the worst crimes you had heard of. I stupidly looked a few up.

2 have absolutely haunted me. I can't get them out of my head.

Any tips on how to move past things like this?!

OP posts:

MauisHouseOnMaui · 12/07/2019 18:08

On a very simplistic level, I try not to think about them. Distraction works well until the thoughts go away.

Horrible things will always happen in the world but the reason these very horrific crimes make it into the news is because they're exceptional events, that's what makes them newsworthy. For the majority of people in this country their day will start as it ends with nothing awful happening at all.

Soola · 12/07/2019 18:09

You have to replace them with lovely thoughts.

I used to dwell on the break up of my relationship with my ex and awful memories would replay over and over in my mind.

So I started inventing new thoughts such as bumping into him whilst he was having an argument with the woman he had cheated on me with and I would have a gorgeous hunk on my arm. The daydream was made up but the emotions felt great real and great!

You can do similar with these thoughts about crimes, by replacing them with good things that have happened to people. It takes time to push the bad thoughts out but you can do it.

Baguetteaboutit · 12/07/2019 18:15

Put it into a box, imagine pushing that box away into the distance, getting smaller and smaller until just a dot and then imagine flicking it away.

Works for me and I'm a master at repressing shit...no comment on how healthy that is though.

RidgedPerfection · 12/07/2019 20:28

I put the thoughts away in a box, shove it away in the corners of my mind and leave it all unresolved and unopened. As the poster above is, I am skilled at repressing things!!

Original poster

NeverGotMyPuppy · 12/07/2019 21:26

Thanks everyone. I'm trying so hard, I went for a run but it doesn't seem to be helping

OP posts:

RedCrab · 12/07/2019 21:37

I was like this for years, OP. Something would haunt me for weeks, then it would finally go...and then I’d hear something/ watch the news/ stupidly google something and it would start all over again.

I went to the doctors because I could cope with the intrusive thoughts and have been taking Prozac for about six weeks. It’s really helped - the thoughts are more containable now and I am more easily able to shove them away. I don’t dwell on things like I did and I don’t have as many intrusive thoughts like I did before.

Original poster

NeverGotMyPuppy · 12/07/2019 21:39

That's interesting.
I had DS 10 months ago and often feel like I have anxiety or depression - I have been to the drs 3 times and they all just say I'm too coherent for PND, I'm just tired.
I really do think I have anxiety though

OP posts:

costacoffeecup · 12/07/2019 22:05

Sounds like a form of OCD. I read the same thread and I'm sure I know what you're thinking of as I had the same reaction! I'm on ADs for anxiety and intrusive thoughts and they have helped.

costacoffeecup · 12/07/2019 22:06

Have a six month old too - so prob pnd related.

Ohdearthefootball · 12/07/2019 22:14

They will fade in time, I do this sometimes, have hopeless thoughts. It will pass hopefully xx

Patroclus · 12/07/2019 22:34

This is always the most obvious symptom that my depression is back when I havnt been taking medication or whatever. I dwell on stuff like this, or horrible things in my past. As soon as I can move on from it, I know the medication is working again

crosser62 · 12/07/2019 22:39

They dominate don’t they, those thoughts.

I have thoughts that make me physically shudder and take away my breath.

I go to work and switch them off, like a switch. My mind fills with work and then I go home to box sets, fill my mind with killing Eve, game of thrones, big little lies, handmaids tale, and breaking bad.
In time, the thoughts fade.

They are terrible thoughts, I know.

lickencivers · 12/07/2019 22:39

I have ptsd from work so I've learnt a few strategies for me

A. You know that this stuff effects you so do not ever do it again. You do not need to see things.

B. Talk it through with some one. It helps to desensitise you. There's a technique called rewind. Where you picture yourself watching yourself watching the thing on a tv and you can rewind and fast forward through the vision / memory. Have a look at that. It may help. I have to do this visualisation some times still. It does help me.

C. Literally tell yourself to get a grip. This also works for me. They're not my family. I didn't cause this. These aren't my feelings to have. Let it all go. Put it into perspective and let it go.

Original poster

NeverGotMyPuppy · 15/07/2019 08:50

Thanks everyone, all these tips have been really useful. I've been trying @Soola 's recommendation of swapping thoughts and I have been trying to do it like for like e.g. animal abuse for examples of people kind to pets etc etc. @lickencivers your 'get a grip' has also been helpful. They werent anything to do with me, I couldn't prevent them

OP posts:

Disfordarkchocolate · 15/07/2019 08:58

I have a few techniques that sometimes help, all involve some type of distraction. Physical, I bounce on my mini trampoline while I count. Also, gives you a few happy hormones. Secondly, the Calm app. They have a daily calm but also lots of useful sections. Thirdly, cooking, usually something I've already done such as cake. I have mental health issues so this takes all my concentration. Good luck.

Weaponsgradeplum · 15/07/2019 10:09

I never watch horrible stuff on TV, that helps.

Flip