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Original poster

Child maintenece

26 replies

13Jiblet · 07/04/2019 07:23

Hi all. I hope someone can help. I was self employed but have just had a child so am not working and have no money coming in at all and no mat pay (applying for statutory mat pay). My husband pays child maintenece to his ex for his teenage child (around £400 a month) that has just continued which is fine but surely my baby (he and i live together with new baby) should get something too? At the moment im paying for all new babies clothes blankets all initial supplies right down to muslins pram toys etc which cost hundreds of pounds with the odd formula or nappy contribution from my husband.. What do I do? I pay half mortgage bills car etc from my savings too each month.
Thank you in advance.

OP posts:
Lacypants · 07/04/2019 07:25

What would he do if you said you needed fifty quid for baby things?

user1493413286 · 07/04/2019 07:27

I’m a bit confused; you and your husband live together so shouldn’t he be paying half of everything for the baby? Before your baby arrived did you talk about how finances would work once you were on maternity pay?

continuallychargingmyphone · 07/04/2019 07:27

To be honest, baby things shouldn’t be costing hundreds of pounds, but if you mean ‘should my husband be paying for his child’ then of course.

How much does he earn after tax etc?

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Families
BitchPeas · 07/04/2019 07:27

So your husband pays 50% of all household bills, and knows you are paying your half out of savings and doesn’t even pay for anything for his own baby?

I’d LT tight-fisted B.

hidinginthenightgarden · 07/04/2019 07:31

You are married and have a child. You should have a joint account for bills and baby stuff. This is ringing alarm bells for me.

Perty01234 · 07/04/2019 07:42

Very confused too OP, you are married and live with your Husband??
You should be sharing the cost of a child just like you do with other household expenses?
You need to sit down with your husband show your income and your outgoings and that you can’t afford everything?
I get 18 weeks full pay mat leave but my DH and I are saving for after the 18 weeks. We have joint accounts that both our wages go into so when it’s stat mat we will top my wage up with our savings to reach the bills.

Aren’t you claiming maternity allowance OP?
www.gov.uk/maternity-allowance/eligibility

Perty01234 · 07/04/2019 07:44

Are you claiming child benefit? That should cover your nappies formula and wipes a monthOP

Original poster
13Jiblet · 07/04/2019 07:53

He never earnt as much as me so i used to pay for more but now im not working at all. I havent applied for child benefit or anything yet. My question was about child maintenece

OP posts:
Eustasiavye · 07/04/2019 07:56

Yes.
Contact cms.
Having another child reduces the amount the first child receives.

DieCryHate · 07/04/2019 07:57

Surely it isn't considered child maintenance if you're married and living together? His maintenance to his ex partner is a separate subject to this. It sounds like the real issue is why your husband isn't shouldering his fair share of the baby expenses, and also being considerate to the fact you are/won't be earning for a while so will need to put his hand in his pocket a bit deeper for a while. It isn't right you are buying everything you need.

On a separate note I agree with a PP about it costing hundreds. You can pick up some bargains for the essential stuff.

JourneyToThePlacentaOfTheEarth · 07/04/2019 08:00

Official child maintenance is paid by the non resident parent to the resident parent.

You and your dh are both residing with the child so this is not a child maintenance issue, it's a husband and wife issue.

Why have you not arranged with your DH for him to pay an equal amount towards your child? What will happen when you go back to work and need to pay for childcare?

He sounds selfish and tight

Jessgalinda · 07/04/2019 08:01

Its jot child maintenance because your are a couple.

Its assumed that you share living costs (not always 50:50) and that includes the up keep of your child.

Are you saying you want him to pay a larger share towards the bills, while you are in MAT leave and not earning?

That's very reasonable

AuntieStella · 07/04/2019 08:02

'My question was about child maintenece'

You din't get CM, assuming you are living with your DH. If you separate, then you could either negotiate a sum between you or have CMS arrange it.

If he really cannot afford to continue to maintain his child, then yes you could seek to renegotiate. I hope it doesn't come to that though.

If he is financially abusing you - deliberately keeping you short, obfuscating about finances etc, then that's a whole different story.

Have you actually discussed family finances recently? If not, why not? Does he seek to cut off discussion and is it hard to talk to him normally? Or is it simply that you've never got round to it?

If the latter, do it today

Original poster
13Jiblet · 07/04/2019 08:21

Thanks all. We pay equally but he has always paid for all groceries each week so i pay for babies stuff- evens out. (& when I said hundreds of pounds i meant initial cost, even second hand travel systems cots cribs etc cost money). But CS doesnt remain the same to first child, it reduces by a certain percentage so each child has a fair share...that's the law (it would be inequitable for the law to say x gets £y and continues to get that despite other kids in tje frame)! Just wanted to know by how much so both of us can put that into an account as a guide for new baby stuff..i think its 11% reduction to child maintenance. If that amount of disposable income comes back to this household and we are in a tight budget, then so be it. I just wanted to know if 11% was right.

OP posts:
Snappedandfarted2019 · 07/04/2019 08:26

So you equally pay into the household but are resentful he pays Cm?. I dont understand you’re issue If you’re both contributing what is the issue his Cm is totally separate.

Jessgalinda · 07/04/2019 08:29

No, your husband doesnt have to pay you separate money for the baby, like he pays his ex. You share household bills, you are a couple that live together and share the living costs. That's includes the baby.

If you feel he needs to start paying £44 more a month into your household bills, speak to him.

IM0GEN · 07/04/2019 08:30

His teenager wont get any cheaper just because he’s had another child.

Are you seriously saying you want him to take money away from his older child ?

And why haven’t you applied for child benefit ? This is all a bit mad.

BlueThursday · 07/04/2019 08:35

I don’t believe child benefit is a separate issue. Apply for it and it will be more than the 11% reduction you propose to the elder child

seven201 · 07/04/2019 08:37

I thought self.employed people could/should apply for maternity allowance (I might have the name wrong) before the baby is born. You should have applied for child benefit straight away - I didn't think they back pay that, although I could be wrong.

You and your partners finance agreement is just weird. It should have to be exactly equal. You should just put in what you can afford and if that doesn't cover the bills then sit down and work out what you should do.

Reducing cms to his teenage child - it doesn't sit right with me. If you do need to reduce it please make sure your dp warns his ex that it will be happening.

Jessgalinda · 07/04/2019 08:40

Yes as the OP is self employed it would be MAT Allowance. Not SMP.

And it's odd nothing has been applied for, yet the OP is worrying about £44 a month that her childs half sibling might be getting, that they arent, technically, entitled to.

Perty01234 · 07/04/2019 08:57

Yes the maintenance will reduce if your DH contacts CMS and tells them of the new child.
Bare in mind this is only going to be about a tenner a week less so £40 overall for the month.
Your questions was actually about what can you do; that he doesn’t pay for anything for the baby and you pay for everything.

We’ve all given you sounds advice, apply for child benefit and get maternity allowance and make him pay for stuff!

Jessgalinda · 07/04/2019 09:11

We’ve all given you sounds advice, apply for child benefit and get maternity allowance and make him pay for stuff!

It actually turns out he does. He pays for all the food and she happens to pay for the baby stuff. But it all works out even anyway.

Eustasiavye · 07/04/2019 12:45

The law is clear on this.
No matter how much it costs to maintain a child, the fact that he has another child to support will reduce the amount of maintenance he has to pay towards the upkeep of his first child.
It doesn't even have to be his child he is living with for this to be reduced.

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/04/2019 12:56

Does he want to reduce what he pays his ex now you have a baby?

I’m sure you can use google to find the facts. But he may not want to cut back on child support, you haven’t said either way.

If you’re not earning and are struggling financially there’s no point putting anything into savings. You’re using savings to pay the bills so you can stop doing that when you sort child benefit and anything else you’re entitled to.

Babyroobs · 07/04/2019 13:27

Have you also looked at whether you would be able to get any help from Universal credit ? if on a low income then you may as a couple be eleigible. Unfortunately it just goes on net earnings and they wouldn't take into consideration that he is paying out so much in CM. You really need to get the CMS amount re-assessed now that you have another child.

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