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Unemployed BF

27 replies

Softie74 · 19/07/2016 21:59

So... I've been single for a few months now since splitting from grumpy, violent-tempered ex husband... and I've finally found someone nice to date. He's lovely and kind and we have amazing chemistry, but... there are small, niggly issues, probably stemming from his being unemployed. He has spent pretty much 80% of his time at my house since we started dating... this is OK... I work from home and he sleeps until the afternoon, so Im undisturbed. But... that's also bothersome. He sleeps all day, only waking up for food and sex, both of which are supplied by me... he doesn't buy anything to contribute to meals. He drinks a lot and doesn't replace what he removes from the liquor cabinet. And when we've gone out (except for the very first date, when he bought his drinks and I've bought my own) I've bought drinks and food for the both of us. Now, I've been fairly straight with him and told him I am not in a position to support an extra person. I'm now running a household on just one salary. He's said he understands and that's not his expectation at all... and that he gets money on Monday, so things will be better. Well. Today was Monday. And I happened to be travelling to his area today for work, so in the morningwhen he messagedoesn't me his "I miss you", I suggested I pop by for a drink after work. He was enthusiastic about that. But when I got there, he couldn't even offer me anything to drink. His housemate suggested a beer, which I don't drink... so I went for water instead. Now I'm not feeling so great about this... on the one hand, it's just a drink. On the other hand, he has eaten and drunk with abandon at mine, and ive been happy to host him, including when he drank some rare imported stuff that I got on a trip and nommed his way through all my vitamins. I really like this guy. But I don't know if he's just using me, or whether his unemployment has genuinely removed his ability to even get so much as a diet coke for a visit... do I say something? What would you do?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 29/07/2016 09:45

And for the sake of all that is holy do not lend him any money to help "start up his business"

CodyKing · 29/07/2016 09:46

My X was unemployed for a long time and did eventually get a job. I supported him fed him and took him out.

When he started earning he decided his money would only pay for him when we went out and pay of his debts - he still wanted me to feed him etc!!
Never again!!

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