I work in a domestic abuse refuge - AMA

[RefugeChange]

Hi, name changed for this so not outing.
I work in a Domestic Abuse Refuge, thought this might be a useful thread for anyone considering refuge, or anyone interested in what we do 😊

Are you an IDVA?

Hi, no, not got an IDVA qualification. In my experience, not many people working in refuges have this qualification. This is more usual in outreach services.

How often do the women go back with their partner?

In my experience, not many. I’’d say 10% leave refuge and return to AP (alleged perpetrator). Although I understand that statistically many more do return, presumably from the housing they are given on leaving refuge.

Is it wise to invite questions from all comers about domestic abuse refuges? How will you feel if this thread puts a woman and child at risk from a stalker who gains an insight they would not otherwise have had?

Did you see an increase in people needing refuge during Covid/Lockdowns?

Also, while the AP is usually a partner, I am increasingly seeing parents or adult children APs.

Fair point. I’ll bear this in mind with my answers. I’m mainly trying to reassure people that may be considering fleeing. But I’ll stop if I think it’s becoming unwise.

Yes, dramatically.

This exactly. This is not a wise AMA to have started. I would ask for this thread be deleted @RefugeChange

Ok, I will stop answering as it’s certainly not my intention to put anyone at risk.

Surely there are lots of questions OP could answer without putting women at risk - and that might help and reassure some women currently at risk too?

I agree with this. I am sure OP is intelligent enough to assess the questions and answer in such a way that women aren’t put at risk.

OP do you work in a shelter that takes trans identified men?

We are able to offer self-contained provision for trans identified men, yes.

I m sure the trained OP can answer any potentially risky questions with an appropriate response, such as "I cannot reveal those details" .