I egg donated AMA

[DeepFriedKermit]

Back in 2011 I egg donated for a complete stranger that resulted in a twin pregnancy with 2 healthy boys delivered...AMA

Are there any consequences for your own health/fertility? Early menopause for instance?

What prompted you to do it?

Have you met the babies?

@OneEpisode they said it would have an adverse affect on my fertility and that I would probably never conceive naturally again. I was tested a year later and my egg reserves were nil so basically infertile - however Mother Nature is a mysterious old girl and I conceived a girl in 2014 who is a very stubborn little 5 year old!

@biggirlknickers I only ever wanted 1 child so after he was born I looked into it. It was a long process of counseling and making sure it was what I wanted. If I didn't need my eggs then I wanted someone who did need them to have them.

@biggirlknickers - haven't met the babies, I don't even know their names. Just have a photo of them when they were born. It was the agreement between the parents and me.

How did you and the wannabe parents find each other? Did you use an agency?

@OneEpisode I advertised myself on a website and the mother got in touch. It turned out that we were very similar and even have the same sort of features. I've never met the parents but the fertility clinic couldn't believe how much of a match we were. I believe it was meant to be.

Thank you for the answers so far! Have you told the son and daughter (who live with you?) about their half brothers?

Would you be open to the children finding you later in life? Would you be willing to cultivate a relationship with them if they wanted it?

Do you believe in the 'right' to have a child?

Not trying to be goady - I am just very interested in your responses as I struggle to form my own views on these hugely nuanced topics!

@OneEpisode I believe they are too young to know just yet but will tell them when I think it's right. I have kept all emails/documents/general correspondence from the time to show them.

@ClaudiaWankleman by law you have to consent to be contacted when the conceived child turns 18. I wrote a letter about myself so if the parents told them they are donor conceived then of course I'm happy to meet them and possibly have a relationship.

I believe we should use the advances in medical technology to have a child, yes. It's not guaranteed to work and it can be hard.

I didn't realise about that law.

How does that line up to the modern day DNA testing things - especially the websites where they can find relatives in the database? I can imagine in the future that could become a big issue, with egg and sperm donors being contacted even if they didn't want to be. Possibly more of an issue for sperm donors I suppose.

Did they remove all of your eggs and that is why it has an adverse effect on fertility? Was the harvesting process painful?

Did you get paid? If so how much?

@ClaudiaWankleman I've no idea how genealogy will be affected but it'll be quite drastic I imagine

@shepherdessbush they stimulated my ovaries to produce lots of eggs. I was near the upper age of 35 hence why they said it might affect my fertility. I produced 11 eggs. The harvesting process was done under heavy sedation and was not painful however I suffered quite badly about a week later and had to go to doctors for very severe bleeding which I was prescribed tamoxifen.

@Namechange8471 in 2011 you weren't allowed to be paid for your eggs but you were allowed to be paid expenses which amounted to around £300, nowadays I think you get a payment of £750

Sorry my phone autocorrected I was prescribed tranexamic acid for the bleeding

No questions- but as someone who needed IVF- thankyou.
I would have survived without my daughter, obviously, but having her has genuinely been a gift.
You gave someone that chance, and it's amazing!

Thank you, you did a kind thing. What do you think of the issues in the Ukraine/Northern Cyprus where for profit clinics are buying eggs and hiring surrogates in very explorative ways?

I did it in v early 2016 for my sister - sadly not worked so far but they're still trying, with two embryos to go. Do you think it has affected your menstrual cycle at all? I get very strong ovulation pains now, and much shorter periods; I'm not sure if that's down to my increasing age (I was 35 too) or the over stimulation?

Hats off to you for doing it for a stranger.

yes it's £750 to cover expenses etc, you legally can't be paid. And I conceived my own shortly after, for those wondering about negative effects for your own conception

Do you feel a responsibility towards the twin boys? For example, if they required a blood donor or financial support later in life, would you be able to separate your emotional ties from your biological connection?

Would you take them in if something happened to their family/they would go into care?

No questions but as someone who has had several unsuccessful IVF cycles, donor eggs is something we're looking in to. Thank you for being so generous and giving a stranger the ultimate gift.

No questions but my donor egg conceived 20-week-old is asleep on my lap right now so just wanted to say thank you, as a recipient, for being a donor. It's an amazing gift you've given someone.

@OneEpisode I don't think exploiting a woman's desire for a baby (or a man's) should be legal in any country. I think we have it right in the UK. I think it's abhorrent.

@OhioOhioOhio if they came to me then of course I would help them - after all they are biologically mine. I would happily give them a blood donation but I would draw the line at financial help as they would be adults.

@sqirrelfriends I probably wouldn't take them in as I feel but would signpost them to where they could get help. This all depends on whether their parents have told them they're donor conceived. Their mother carried them for 9 months - I only gave her the tools to do this.