I moved halfway around the world for love - AMA

[MovedForLove]

My husband is SE Asian and at 25 I moved to his home country to be with him after we'd been dating for 4 years. 4 years later and we're expecting our first child - AMA!

Sorry if anyone thinks this is a boring AMA, you don't have to read/answer. I'm bored and wanted to make a thread and love reading AMAs so thought I'd do my own.

I’m in nearly the same situation as you, so very curious about something that I struggle with: how do/did you find new friends outside your DH’s social circle?

With difficulty! Tbh I haven't made many good friends of my own. I think having children will help with that. I joined a few expat groups on Facebook and have met some people on there but it's not easy (especially as I work and many of the women's expat groups tend to meet during the week).

How do you get on with the in-laws? Do you have a nice lifestyle?

I get on really well with my in-laws. We recently moved a couple of hours away from them so don't see them as much as we used to (used to be every evening/weekend). They genuinely care about me though and I definitely feel that I've been accepted as part of the family.

Our lifestyle is nice. The cost of living is cheaper here so we can afford things we wouldn't be able to in the UK.

You were quite young when you moved, what did your family say? Were they supportive?

My parents didn't say much, they don't really keep in touch with me. Any contact is only if I initiate it (but it was like that when I lived in the UK as well). They're more interested now I'm expecting a baby.

My sister makes me feel guilty for moving. It irritates me to be honest, she was never interested in our relationship until I moved. Before that she was too busy doing her own things abroad. Tbf she doesn't do it as often as she used to.

What's your home country? I lived in SE Asia for a while too - a year in Hong Kong and two years in Malaysia,

I'm from the UK and moved to Malaysia! I'd say its one of the more common SE Asian countries for brits to move to - everyone speaks English so its easy to work/live plus plenty of Malaysians in the UK who meet their partners there.

What's been the hardest thing about moving? How did you meet your DH?

Hardest thing about moving is being away from everything that is familiar. Here I struggle to do things that in the UK would be no issue (language barrier). I also miss my family and friends.

I met DH at university.

Do you worry about being 'stuck' there with children if you split up?

Was it at university in the UK? Did DH not want to stay in the UK?

Do I worry about being stuck there with children It is something I've thought about. We've discussed the education of our children though and agree that they'll go to school in the UK so if I am stuck here it would only be till they're secondary school age. Plus Malaysia is not a signatory of the Hague convention...maybe I'm naïve, I can't see us splitting up and certainly not on bad terms.

Was it at university in the UK and didn't DH want to stay? yes at a UK university, and no, DH didn't want to stay in the UK. We did for a bit but then he wanted to go back. We will probably live in the UK at some point in the future though, or at least split our time more than we do now.

I'm envious! Loved the food, the sunshine, the East coast beaches, diving. I had a fab time. I lived in KL - you?

Which culture is your DH from - Chinese, Indian or Malay?

DH is Chinese and yes we live in KL.

We've been meaning to try diving but think that'll be on the back burner for the next ten years with a baby! It's a very nice place to live.

Do you have your own income?

Yes, I work. I earn significantly less than I would in the UK but a good salary for Malaysian standards.

Really interesting thread op. Thank you for starting it. I too love reading AMA.

Do you feel safe where you are? As a Muslim country do you feel compelled to adhere to dress codes etc?

Thanks, glad you find it interesting!

As far as Muslim countries go Malaysia is very moderate, I don't feel the need to change the way I dress or anything like that.

I think Malaysia is generally a very safe country, I don't like walking around alone after dark but I didn't like doing that in the UK either. The only aspect that does feel more unsafe is the driving and less rigorous health and safety standards (like when the fire alarm in the building goes off nobody leaves their desks until someone comes round and tells us it's not a drill!).

Sounds like a nice life you've made for yourself - forgot to congratulate you on your pregnancy!