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AMA

DH and I are swingers - AMA

43 replies

TempAmaName · 31/08/2018 08:41

Did a search and couldn't find anything so apologies if it's been done.

Ask away

OP posts:
SneakyGremlins · 06/09/2018 15:25

Apologies if you've stated this - do you both only swing with the opposite gender?

And you say kissing the opposite gender is a no - what about the same gender?

Interesting thread, thanks OP Smile

TempAmaName · 06/09/2018 16:00

branleuse haha! Yes I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of nice normal folk at the club. Fetish people scare the crap out of me tbh.

MakeYourOwnFuckingTea I have no knowledge about any kind of pampas grass industry! I don't think I've ever seen any - will check the outside of the club next time we go!

SneakyGremlins no we both go with the same gender too and kissing the same sex is fine.

OP posts:
Brandnewshit · 06/09/2018 16:18

How does the evening kind of pan out, do you sit and chat have a drink, see if anyone catches your eye, do couples kind of set out boundaries with each other before?

CherryChatsworth · 06/09/2018 17:43

How do you meet new people? Swingers websites? And do you turn up at peoples homes to do it? Does anyone come back to yours?

TempAmaName · 08/09/2018 11:18

Brandnewshit yeah that's pretty much it! You'll get chatting and then you'll each say what things you don't do and then crack on.

CherryChatsworth yeah either the Internet or clubs. If we haven't met a couple before we'll arrange to meet at a pub somewhere neutral or a club but we've had people over and been to others' houses

OP posts:
babysharksmummy · 08/09/2018 22:24

Do you ever see the people that you sleep with again if you feel you connect with them? Do you have DC? Do you feel it's improved your relationship? I sometimes think I would quite like to do this but no way would DH agree!

BIWI · 08/09/2018 22:29

I have absolutely no interest in it myself, but the logistics/practicalities of swinging always intrigues me! Grin

First, is it at an ordinary home or in some kind of club?

Second, how does it all work? Do you all arrive at the same time? Sit around for a while chatting? When do you strip off? What happens?!

MaybeDoctor · 08/09/2018 22:33

What do you wear? Normal clothes or something more lingerie-like.

bellinisurge · 08/09/2018 22:36

Yeah, the pampas grass thing. Is it true?

Brandnewshit · 09/09/2018 19:16

Which are your favourite clubs, and why.
Ps thanks for all your honest answers btw!

Brandnewshit · 09/09/2018 19:18

Oh and regarding the dress situation, do you go and get changed or go in with lingerie type of thing.

TempAmaName · 10/09/2018 16:59

babysharksmummy yeah if we get on and we feel like we're on the same page then we might see them again if we all happen to be available at the same time. We have four DC. Definitely feel like it's strengthened us as a couple.

BIWI both! Sometimes we go to a club or sometimes we might invite or get invited by a couple on the internet. If we haven't met before we'll meet somewhere neutral like a pub so we can see if we click before going to anyone's home or having anyone back to ours. It's surprisingly easy to get things moving, I thought it would be really awkward but once we're back at theirs or ours, someone will just turn the conversation a bit rude, we'll all have a flirt and it goes from there. If we're at a club we just do our own thing and then other people ask if they can join and you say yes or no thank you.

MaybeDoctor it depends. If we go out for a drink to meet a couple just normal pub attire. If we're going straight to a club and nowhere else then something a bit sexier like a short dress and heels. Most of them do have dress codes and won't let you in if you look like you haven't made an effort.

bellinisurge I don't have any pampas grass, I think it's a myth!

Brandnewshit I won't name the club as I think that might be a bit outing but I will say my favourite one is the most relaxed one. It's just really cosy and friendly inside. A lot of them are all grey and chrome and posh inside like a strip club. This one feels like your local pub. In a good way! Although none serve alcohol - you can bring your own though and they serve soft drinks.

They have changing rooms like a gym, you can hire a locker to put all your stuff in (strictly no phones allowed) and you can wear clothes, lingerie, a bikini or just a towel if you like.

And no problem - no point doing an AMA if you're not going to answer the questions ay! Smile

OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 10/09/2018 17:09

Do you ever put car keys in a bowl?

Rebecca36 · 10/09/2018 17:48

Marvellous stuff, I love to watch old fashioned dancing, it is so elegant and jazz is cool.

This monkey is pretty cool too:

BlowPoke · 10/09/2018 18:02

That was the best wrong post response ever.

TempAmaName · 10/09/2018 19:26

ginger1982 we never have, I'm not sure if others do.

Is 'old fashioned jazz dancing' what the kids are calling it these days? WinkGrin

OP posts:
Rebecca36 · 11/09/2018 05:49

Have you ever found yourself in bed with someone you thought you fancied but then find them a real turn off? In which case, what do you do at that late stage?

Also someone whom you discover, when they have their clothes off, is quite unhygienic.

TempAmaName · 11/09/2018 15:08

Rebecca36 no that hasn't happened yet but I would have no issues with stopping and letting them know that I wasn't feeling it. Everyone we've met so far has been very respectful and it is always made clear beforehand that anyone can stop at any time. Any bad vibes from anybody at all and it's over.

Also never had any couples who are unhygienic, it's quite important to most people in the swinging world so I think it would be rather unlikely. There was one man who smelled faintly of fresh sweat afterwards but I found that quite pleasing, we'd obviously made him work Grin

OP posts:
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