Another Pelicot in Manchester

Bloody hell @MyNameIsTina

Will the police or the government issue a list of symptoms or behaviours that women can use to recognise this offence? A checklist so women can consider the potential of their partners being raping deviants.

It’s probably useful to send it to GPs too, to screen for victims of this abuse.

Christ. What a thought.

Maybe we need to help girls and women learn more about coercive control and abuse. I would imagine that might be easier than trying to guess what are likely to be quite vague signs and symptoms?

Gisele Pelicot’s husband used to accompany her to doctors’ appointments when she was trying to find the causes of her gynae issues and STIs. That struck me as the very depth of cynicism.

Perhaps partners accompanying women to appointments should be seen as a potential red flag. Of course there are many genuine and good reasons why a man might accompany his partner, but it could also be an indicator of control.

The time scale involved ( decades) and the number of men involved suggest that this is just the tip of the ice-berg and this particular 'practice' is widespread.

It is the result of the frustrated male sex drive given free reign to express itself ( and organise) via exposure to the internet and the ability to associate with others that it nurtures. It is in the nature of males to be sexually opportunistic - even the 'nice' ones. Many will maintain some boundaries of acceptable behaviour or conduct, but clearly many don't.

'Sex positivity' just plays into this and gives men a ready made narrative of 'sex game gone wrong'.

Yes, this is true. The internet has emboldened many antisocial, criminal and paraphilic elements, by giving them platforms and places to associate.

But what I was really referring to is the negation, and often hatred, of women by men, as a class.
I think it is deeper than sexual opportunism. Patriarchy, sexism, DV, sexual opportunism, rape, sexual assaults and more arise from men's deep rooted attitudes to women.

It's everywhere. And once you see it, you cannot unsee it. I did online dating for a few years in my mid 40s. Met around 50 men over 3 or 4 years. Some just for a one off coffee, some I saw a couple of times, one or two I had relationships with. My God. It was horrific. So much misogyny. So many red flags. They didnt like it if you were too clever. Many trotted out the "crazy ex" scenario. Many of them showed deep rooted hatred of women, thinly veiled, but it always came out in the end. The usual tropes all came out. They often played the victim when you called them out. Often they tried to pass stuff off as banter when itbwas just pure nastiness or jealousy. Clearly, a lot of these men are well-versed in the art of gaslighting by time they reach mid 40s.

Oh, and I had become single after it became apparent how useless my partner was after we had a baby. When I eventually got around to changing my Facebook status to 'Single' I received messages that evening from eight men I knew, asking if I needed any 'company' / comforting / a shag. These were neighbours, ex colleagues etc. All married. Every single one.

Eight.

Speaks volumes.

Sadly, most women still think "Not my Nigel"

I see it in every man I meet. Varying degrees of either that cocky sense of self confidence - Oh to have the confidence of a mediocre man! - which then usually translates to controlling, or the bitterness of a failed or wronged man who can't wait to take it out on the next woman and make her pay.

I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that rape is not just a crime of power - but one of opportunity. And when given the opportunity to rape a woman and get away with it - far too many would take that chance. But it takes someone truly sick to arrange that opportunity - and to someone you're meant to love and protect. Vile.

Yes, at some level a woman is viewed as a potential object of sexual attention. Women who are older, or otherwise unattractive, are deemed pointless and irrelevent. Men may not hold this position consciously, yet it remains is hidden beneath the surface.

At a similar level of depth I think women have an instinct that is approaching fear when confronted with unknown males. There is an unconscious assessment of, and a realisation of, female vulnerability in relation to greater male strength and predatory behaviours.

It is all very primitive and animalistic stuff, but at root those instincts are still in there no matter the civilised gloss we put on the surface.

Yes. We should take all steps possible to ensure women are safe from opportunist predators.

Protecting single sex spaces is a very obvious measure.

Yet rapes and attacks on elderly women also happen.

A woman being wary when confronted with an unknown male is both instinctive, and sensible on that basis - a larger, stronger person represents a threat; and learned, because as we all know on some level, whether from experience, or awareness of data, it's men who commit virtually all sex crimes.

Yes, men are capable of fetishing anything, anyone, or any personal or physical quality.

Another one!

this was earlier this year https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4grr3368n3o

There’ll be hundreds of cases probably - Some people are just so sick! Defo a good argument for castration imo!

All steps possible? We should take reasonable steps.

Christ almighty.

Ensuring that men are not waved into single sex spaces is eminently reasonable.

This.

For anyone new to Feminism, keeping males out of women's spaces is a priority. Imagine how many men who have weird kinks and worse pretend to be Trans just to access women's spaces.

Clue: It's a lot! In fact all men who have untoward intentions about women have gleefully jumped on this bandwagon.

Husband who drugged and raped wife for 20 years no longer part of trial
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckq63vq3y4m1o

What sort of steps would be unreasonable, in your opinion?

And what does that mean? The husband will be tried separately? Or not at all?

@IwantToRetire Is that because he has admitted the charges while the other men are pleading not guilty?