Healthiest and Unhealthiest relationships in songs?

Thanks for reminding me of that song. I haven't heard it in years but I remember first hearing it when I was very young and realising what the end of love could feel like and feeling sad about it. She's Leaving Home and Eleanor Rigby made had the same effect on me. I hated hearing them. Great songs though.

When I was Mary's prayer by Danny Wilson - a 'perfect pop song' aurally, I think and it has 'say ten Hail Marys' in the lyrics, which jumps out of the radio at Catholics, current and lapsed - that's a whole Decade of the Rosary!

The gist seems to be that there was a time when he had a wonderful relationship with Mary, and then he blew it.
I made such a big mistake
When I was Mary's prayer

A little bit of hope for redemption?
So if I say save me, save me
Be the light in my eyes
And if I say ten Hail Marys
Leave a light on in Heaven

But acceptance that she's moved on:
Blessed is the one who shares
Your power and your beauty, Mary
Blessed is the millionaire
Who shares your wedding day
..
What I wouldn't give to be
When I was Mary's prayer

It's healthy in that the narrator is heart-broken, but takes the blames himself, he messed up the relationship.

And - like in 'The Lakes of Pontchartrain' - the love remains, it doesn't turn into bitterness, it's not a sinister 'I still love you and every step you take... etc' in both songs there's respect for the woman and her choice
'Blessed is the one who shares/Your power and your beauty, Mary'
I💖 those lines

It sounds like Mary dumped him for someone on "7 figures".

Healthy - Respect by Aretha Franklin. I know it's a cliche, and the guy she's singing about sounds like borderline not a keeper frankly, but I love the line 'I ain't gonna do you wrong, cause I don't want to'. She's all in, but she's still telling him how she expects to be treated

@BernardBlacksMolluscs Really interesting thread, thanks!

Haven't seen this mentioned: I have a slightly different take on Respect, if you recall that it was written by a man (Otis Redding). And he didn't write it for Aretha, he released it himself first.

If you read the lyrics with the man as the narrator, you get a picture of a relationship in which the man is saying to the woman "I work all day to make money that I spend on you, so when I get home, you'd better hold up your end of the bargain (sex)."

He doesn't want respect, he wants sex, and because he's using his money to keep her in the manner to which he thinks/believes she has become accustomed, he's expecting her to provide sex any time he wants it.

I won't post all the lyrics here, but some of them sound quite threatening/manipulative to me:

I'm about to give you all of my money
And all I'm askin' in return, honey
Is to give me my propers when you get home...

Ooh, your kisses, sweeter than honey
And guess what? So is my money..,

I hasten to add that I love this song anyway, and Aretha definitely made it her own! It's just if you listen to it from a man's point of view...

I suppose Aretha is saying the same thing, about her money, and probably about the sex, but somehow, it's not quite as coercive when she says it (although of course it still is) - the power will remain with the man because no woman would physically be able to force a man to have sex (although I suppose she could psychologically wear him down!)

Healthy, I think is Haunted by Sinéad O'Connor and Shane MacGowan

Shane -
The first time I saw you standing in the street
You were so cool you could have put out Vietnam
Sinead - My girlfriends ask me, "What's he like?" I say, "He's kind of shy
But that's the kind of girl I am, he's my kind of guy"

I think the relationship in Anywhere With You by Maggie Rogers is healthy, but it could go either way to be honest.

Today I am ashamed to have sung along to I'd Rather Go Blind by Etta James, Right Here In My Arms by Him and Want Me by Baby Queen. Even Baby You're So Square by Buddy Holly sounds nice but is actually rather snide. And my playlist hasn't even got to rapey Elvis yet...

She may have been mentioned already, but Anne Peebles has a really conflicted catalogue of "strong woman you don't want to mess with / oh why are you putting up with that?" lyrics.

Joan Armatrading I love It (When You Call Me Names) is an unusual relationship.

The unhealthy song I've been singing today: Sheela na Gig by PJ Harvey

You hope this time she is gonna wash that man right out of her hair, but you know it's going to keep happening as long as she only values herself as a list of body parts

Call me a hopeless romantic but I understand this as the person who marries Mary is considered a 'millionaire' because Mary loves them, not because of 'the Benjamins'...
And I don't care if you're right, HelloDenise, I'm going to continue interpreting it my way, so there nurrrr, cos I love this song and nothing about it can be imperfect 😃

Taylor Swift, unsurprisingly, has some cracking songs about toxic relationships... Dear John springs to mind.

That's exactly what I thought too when I read the lyrics!

And I've left it long enough to offer two more Magnetic Fields songs, both beautiful songs. A pair for the start and the end of a marriage.

Healthy: It's Only Time

Why would I stop loving you
A hundred years from now?
It's only time.
It's only time.

What could stop this beating heart
Once it's made a vow?
It's only time.
It's only time.

If rain won't change your mind,
Let it fall.
The rain won't change my heart
At all.

Lock this chain
Around my hand,
Throw away the key.
It's only time.
It's only time.

Years falling
Like grains of sand
Mean nothing to me.
It's only time.
It's only time.

If snow won't change your mind
Let it fall.
The snow won't change my heart,
Not at all.

I'll walk your lands
(And swim your sea)
And swim your sea

Marry me.
Marry me.
Then in your hands
(I will be free)
I will be free

Marry me.
Marry me.
Why would I stop loving you
A hundred years from now?

Unhealthy: Busby Berkley Dreams

I should have forgotten you long ago
But you're in every song I know
Whining and pining is wrong and so
On and so forth, of course of course
But no, you can't have a divorce

I haven't seen you in ages
But it's not as bleak as it seems
We still dance on whirling stages
In my Busby Berkeley dreams
The tears have stained all the pages
Of my True Romance magazines
We still dance in my outrageously beautiful
Busby Berkeley dreams

And now you want to leave me for good
I refuse to believe you could
You forget we're not made of wood
Well darling you may do your worst
Because you'll have to kill me first

I haven't seen you in ages
But it's not as bleak as it seems
We still dance on whirling stages
In my Busby Berkeley dreams
The tears have stained all the pages
Of my True Romance magazines
We still dance in my outrageously beautiful
Busby Berkeley dreams

Do you think it's dangerous
To have Busby Berkeley dreams?

Thank you for introducing me to Magnetic Field, FlirtsWithRhinos ,
I had never heard of them.

And I thought I was a hopeless romantic - I'm only in the ha'penny place compared with these lovely songs

Based on your username, I'm tempted to ask: do the rhinos like these songs?😂

Hopelessly romantic, deeply cynical, sometimes both in the same song. Also very queer, in the best way of it not mattering whether the lovers in the songs are men singing to men, men to women, women to men or women to women.

Rhinos are hopeless romantics by the way, but you have to get through their tough armour first.