Healthiest and Unhealthiest relationships in songs?

I think the one that always hits me hardest is the simplest. Most songs about bad relationships, violence, or murder attempt some sort of mitigation. Justice, remorse, or at least the perpetrator or victim trying to justify themselves or their attacker. Or they're cartoonish rather than serious. Or they have a distractingly catchy tune.

Behind the wall doesn't give anywhere to hide. Brutal simplicity.

Last night I heard the screaming
Loud voices behind the wall
Another sleepless night for me
It won't do no good to call
The police
Always come late
If they come at all

Last night I heard the screaming
Loud voices behind the wall
Another sleepless night for me
It won't do no good to call
The police
Always come late
If they come at all

And when they arrive
They say they can't interfere
With domestic affairs
Between a man and his wife
And as they walk out the door
The tears well up in her eyes

Last night I heard the screaming
Then a silence that chilled my soul
I prayed that I was dreaming
When I saw the ambulance in the road
And the policeman said
"I'm here to keep the peace
Will the crowd disperse
I think we all could use some sleep"

Last night I heard the screaming
Loud voices behind the wall
Another sleepless night for me
It won't do no good to call
The police
Always come late
If they come at all

Marty Groves. I’ve seen various versions of the “noble lord” name.

It must have been a trend because “Hey Joe”, “Frankie and Johnny” and “Delilah” are much the same. I wonder why some women on Mumsnet don’t apply same logic with their errant men.

The doomed lover is Little Musgrave in Moore's version but it has to be the same guy. Castle Barnard is the ancestral home of Dominican Cummings ....gawd help us
Still causing trouble 😆

There is a very fine website thingy about the lessons the author culled from English folksongs.

https://www.nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/folksongs_are_y/#006448

I especially like
"Avoid navigable waterways. Don’t let yourself be talked into going down by the wild rippling water, the wan water, the salt sea shore, the strand, the lowlands low, the Burning Thames, and any area where the grass grows green on the banks of the great North Sea. Cliffs overlooking navigable waterways aren’t safe either."

I really do suggest that reading the whole thing may make you laugh, even on a Wednesday.

On the other hand the lyrics to 'You Have Been Loved' and 'Jesus to a Child ' are beautiful. Nobody sings a ballad better than George did.

P.J Harvey's 'Angelene' is desperately sad

My first name Angelene
Prettiest mess you've ever seen
Love for money is my sin
Any man calls, I'll let him in
Rose is my color, and white
Pretty mouth and green my eyes
I see men come and go
But there'll be one who will collect my soul and come to me
Two-thousand miles away
He walks upon the coast
Two-thousand miles away
It lays open like a road
Dear God, life ain't kind
People getting born and dying
But I've heard there's joy untold
Lays on that open road in front of me
My first name is Angelene

P.J Harvey's 'bunny boiler' song 'Rid Of Me'

Tie yourself to me
No one else, no
You're not rid of me, mmm
You're not rid of me
Night and day I breathe
Hah-hah, ay, hey
You're not rid of me
Yeah, you're not rid of me
Yeah, you're not rid of me
Yeah, you're not rid of me
I beg you, my darling
Don't leave me, I'm hurting
(Lick my legs, I'm on fire)
(Lick my legs, of desire)
I'll tie your legs
Keep you against my chest
Oh, you're not rid of me
Yeah, you're not rid of me
I'll make you lick my injuries
I'm gonna twist your head off, see
'Til you say don't you wish you never never met her
Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
I beg you, my darling
Don't leave me, I'm hurting
I've been lonely
Above everything
Above every day
I'm hurting
Yeah, you're not rid of me
Yeah, you're not rid of me
I'll make you lick my injuries
I'm gonna twist your head off, see
'Til you say don't you wish you never never met her
Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
Don't you don't you wish you never never met her
(Lick my legs, I'm on fire)
(Lick my legs, of desire)
(Lick my legs, I'm on fire)
(Lick my legs, of desire)

That is wonderful. I have many happy memories of listening to folk music in the car with DS when he was younger who would occasionally shout "no! Don't go the the merry green broom, are you mad?!" and suchlike at the cd.

I am really glad to have passed it on to even one person who enjoyed it! One of those things that stays in the back of my mind, so that sometimes I or someone else who knows it will say "no good will come of it" about some proposed action, or mutter about Doleful Ghosts, and the other will grin.

Grab a copy; that website seems to come and go a bit. Last year I couldn't find it, and I swear that the first time I saw it the format was quite different.

Yes I was about to post Run for Your Life. Can’t get much more clearly unhealthy than that lyric

Lennon later rued this song - but they all do that, don't they - describing I think as a 'horror' in his Yoko days.
It's sort of a disappointing finale to an album that has songs like 'The Word', 'Nowhere Man', 'Michelle', 'Norwegion Wood', 'Girl' and 'In My Life'. It's also the last Beatle album however where the final song is a throwback tune that could have been on the first album, perhaps a way of reassuring ticket-buying fans that they'd still be getting the Beatlemania experience. See also how Dizzy Miss Lizzy follows Yesterday on the Help! album. With the next one, Revolver, and thereon, they would end with some musical anomaly or freak-out.

Fascinating Aïda, The Image of Judy.

And, also by Fascinating Aïda, Don't Come Back

I sing and listen to a lot of folk songs and I've always felt the man in many traditional songs has a nerve, after being away for so long he's unrecognisable, to test the girl out as to whether she has been faithful and is still waiting for him! Then they marry and live happily ever after. I'd tell him to take a running jump myself....

I've always had my doubts about the song Back of My Hand by The Jags. Good song, but IMO the lyrics are questionable, especially given the title, which can imply hitting someone. I might be the only person who thinks this, though.

You're not unreadable, you're not unbeatable
I know just what you are, don't push your luck too far
You're not untouchable, not just another girl
I'd get in touch with you, I only wish I knew that
I got your number, written on the back of my hand....

Sorry for not reading all the previous postings, but "Under My Thumb" by the Rolling Stones has to be about the worst. Although I can't help enjoying the phrase "Siamese cat of a girl".

As for something good (surely there's something somewhere) I really like Not Too Much to Ask, by Mary Chapin Carpenter:

[Verse: Mary Chapin Carpenter first 2 lines, Joe Diffie 3rd and 4th]
To hear you say my name, to see you search my eyes
To feel you touch my hand, it more than satisfies
If I was not the first, just say I'll be the last
It's too much to expect, but it's not too much to ask

[Chorus: Mary Chapin Carpenter & Joe Diffie]
Now I can only dream of being all you need
And I can only try to be the reason why
You think about today and forget about the past
It's too much to expect, but it's not too much to ask

[Chorus: Mary Chapin Carpenter & Joe Diffie]
Now I can only dream of being all you need
And I can only try to be the reason why
You think about today, 'cause the past is just the past
It's too much to expect, but it doesn't hurt to ask
It's too much to expect, but it's not too much to ask

And there's the Loch Tay Boat Song, which is the lament of a young man who's been rejected by the woman he loves, and he doesn't know why. But he's not angry or full of revenge or anything tragic, so I suppose that's a creditable response.
https://mainlynorfolk.info/folk/songs/lochtayboatsong.html

She’s my lovely nighean ruadh
She’s my joy and sorrow too
And although she is untrue
Well I cannot live without her

The Gaelic words mean "red-headed girl".

That lessons from folksongs piece is excellent.

The Dubliners also have (mostly) sound advice on avoiding the fate of some of those in the unhealthy songs.

Don't get married girls
You'll sign away your life
You may start off as a woman
But you'll end up as the wife
You could be a vestal virgin
Take the veil and be a nun
But don't get married girls
For marriage isn't fun

Oh it's fine when you're romancing
And he plays the lover's part
You're the roses in his garden
You're the flame that warms his heart
And his love will last forever
And he'll promise you the moon
But just wait until you're wedded
Then he'll sing a different tune

You're his tapioca pudding
You're the dumplings in his stew
But he'll soon begin to wonder
What he ever saw in you
Still he takes without complaining
All the dishes you provide
But you see he's got to have
His bit of jam tart on the side

So don't get married girls
It's very badly paid
You may start off as the mistress
But you'll end up as the maid
Be a daring deep sea diver
Be a polished polyglot
But don't get married girls
For marriage is a plot

Have you seen him in the morning
With a face that looks like death
With dandruff on his pillow
And tobacco on his breath
And he needs some reassurance
With his cup of tea in bed
For he's worried by the mortgage
And the bald patch on his head

And he's sure that you're his mother
Lays his head upon your breast
So you try to boost his ego
Iron his shirt and warm his vest
Then you get him off to work
The mighty hunter is restored
And he leaves you there with nothing
But the dreams you can't afford

So don't get married girls
Men are all the same
They just use you when you need you
You'd do better on the game
Be a call girl, be a stripper
Be a hostess, be a whore
But don't get married girls
For marriage is a bore

When he comes home in the morning
He can hardly spare a look
All he says is "What's for dinner?"
After all you're just the cook
But when he takes you to a party
Well he eyes you with a frown
For you know you've got to look your best
You mustn't let him down

All he'll clutch you with that
"Look what I've got" twinkle in his eyes
Like he's entered for a raffle
And he's won you for the prize
Oh but when the party's over
You'll be slogging through the sludge
Half the time a decoration
And the other half a drudge

So don't get married
It'll drive you round the bend
It's the lane without a turning
It's the end without an end
Take a lover every Friday
Take up tennis, be a nurse
But don't get married girls
For marriage is a curse

Written by Leon Rosselson, who also wrote this story of lovers kept apart by money, but not quite in the usual way:

Yep, it's a very pretty "if you loved me you'd shag me" song, but it is still a "if you loved me you'd shag me" song.

A slightly more niche one is Tunnel of Love by Fun Boy Three
"You gave up your friends for a new way of life
And both ended up as ex-husband and wife
There were twenty-two catches
when you struck your matches
And threw away your life
in the tunnel of love"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=Qi7BXqmYxiw

One Last Time by Ariana Grande is the female version of this song!

Another song I love (especially the Aaron Neville version), but is very deeply unhealthy is Bird on a Wire by Leonard Cohen. “Feel sorry for me, I’m a shit to you and everyone…”.

Like a bird on the wire
Like a drunk in a midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free
Like a worm on a hook
Like the knight from some old-fashioned book
I have saved all my ribbons for thee

If I, if I have been unkind I hope that you can just let it go by
If I, if I have been untrue I hope you know, it was not to you

Like a baby stillborn
Like a beast with his horn I
have torn everyone who reached out for me
But I swear, by this song
And by all that I have done wrong
I will make it all up to thee

I saw a beggar standing on his wooden crutch He said to me, "You not ask for so much"
And a pretty woman leaning in her darkened door She cried to me, "Hey, why not ask for more?"

Like a bird on the wire
Like a drunk in an old midnight choir
I have tried in my way to be free

Oh I love Bird on a Wire.

How about the Jennifer Warnes version from Famous Blue Raincoat?

On the subject of folksongs, there's a song called The Lakes of Pontchartrain where the expected/feared outcome doesn't happen, several times.

Narrator finds himself stranded and penniless because it's Louisiana and they still have a different currency.
He meets a 'Creole' girl - I know that can mean different things, be from his description she would appear to be African-American.
Uh-oh.

She sees he is in trouble and invites him to stay with her and her mother-
"You're welcome here kind stranger
Our house is very plain
But we never turned a stranger out
On the banks of Pontchartrain"
nooooo! FFS! don't invite a strange man into your home!

He declares his love for her. Hmmmmm.. is that 'love' or ...
He want to marry her. Or so he says, right?
Her fiancé is away at sea - so does she decide feck that, love the one you're with?
No, she remains true to her love, and rejects the narrator.
Uh-oh. How is he going to take rejection, maybe not well at all..

But it's the loveliest, and healthiest, of endings

So fare thee well, my bonny own girl
I never may see you more
But I'll ne'er forget your kindness
In the cottage by the shore
And at each social gathering
A flowing glass I'll drain
And I'll drink a health to my Creole girl
By the lakes of Pontchartrain
💖

Paul Brady 'owns' this song, if you want to google it