Such an interesting article about the psychological burden of performing “gender”

And yet, one highly biased article about JKR which uses paraphrased "quotes" is undeniable PROOF that's she's a heinous bigot?
Ok right you are

There are some ideas in CBT which "affirmative" treatment for trans people goes against or doesn't deal with.

1. That you can't control what other people think
2. That reassurance results in the difficulties being maintained.
3. Thinking about DBT / ACT, which could be seen as a new direction CBT is heading in, acceptance is key.

And as for advertising the fact that the unhappiness of a population is proportional to the amount of money the country spends on advertising tells me everything I need to know.

Of course not NorthernBaileyGoodnewsGretel etc is only here to service his humiliation boner. That's why he constantly repeats the same lame unevidenced arguments that have been dismantled before on every thread.

Waffle about "proportionality" (current favourite nonsense argument)or whatever, tell a few women they are stupid for good measure and sit back to enjoy being told off.
His posting lately seems to be getting more frequent and desperate he's derailing numerous threads with numerous posts almost constantly now under various usernames so I assume it's not working as well for him as it was. Or he's getting addicted.

I expect him to report this and get it deleted but I feel that he really ought to be banned now and that we need to be able to call this behaviour out for what it is.

Yes, his non-answer (8:36am) to Cantunseeit's direct questions to him about the burden of presenting as a different person, suggests that he is uninterested in genuine discussion and debate.

I expect him to report this and get it deleted but I feel that he really ought to be banned now and that we need to be able to call this behaviour out for what it is.

This. We've seen a consistent pattern of reporting and deletion for a year now. It's a way to stifle gossip.

Yes I think from now on I might take a leaf out of the Birds Eye playbook and respond to that poster's rants with the word "potato"

If I only had a fiver for every time I had said to a child, or heard another mother say to her child, "no, darling, you don't need an ice-cream; you want one, and that's not the same"......

Back in the 1960s and seeing how the wind blew, I consciously trained myself not to pay attention to advertising. I was so successful that on one occasion when I was asked by someone doing market research to come in and give an opinion on a new advertisement that was being trailed (look, it was raining, the church hall they were using for this was warm, and they were giving out tea and biscuits, ok? that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it) I was able to write down for them every detail of the four-minute film they showed us all: the colours of people's clothes, what the musak behind it was, the countryside in the background, the lot. They had to give me three extra sheets of A4 paper to write it all down. The only thing I failed to take in was what was being sold....

There is absolutely no psychological need for procedures like BBLs, lip fillers, Botox, anal bleaching etc (all stemming from porn, obviously.) People in the past were perfectly capable of finding each other attractive and reproducing with each other without any of the recent ludicrous offerings from the worlds of fashion, beauty and pharmaceuticals.

It’s nothing to do with need, it’s vanity and/or insecurity.

True.

I rarely have any idea whether posters are people I interacted with under another name, but think it is important to give clear answers to idiotic proposals because we have no idea whether there are naive people lurking who might be fooled into thinking the slick statements are either clever or correct.

The young are not stupid, but they are inexperienced and can be misled by bad actors.

The real burden is being forced to perform the gender they aren't.

Trans people know who they are, children included, and being out - no longer having to pretend - profoundly heals them. It's why people remain trans despite constant pressure, harassment and violence.

In theory, once out they can live as themselves and get on with the rest of their lives. The brief period between dysphoria easing and being targeted with transphobic hatred, is a very happy memory..

I've seen how being out relaxes a trans guy, makes them happier - and reveals the person they were hiding all along. It's why I know being trans is real, and totally different to sexust concepts like 'tomboys' (I.e. normal cis women kicking against stereotypes - the word meaning 'not as good as either').

Genspect, seriously? Islamophobic, racist trash.

Their actual sex remains the same as it ever was though.

Nobody is forced to perform any gender, either the gender-package congruent with their sex or the gender-package congruent with the opposite sex. It is perfectly possibly to just opt out of performance and get on with living your life. Much easier, too.

Fine. If performing the gender they believe themselves to be, or want to be, makes a trans-identifying person happier, then go ahead and perform. You do you. As long as you doing you doesn’t require others to join in. Because it’s not their performance.

It takes a very strong-minded, confident performer to cope with an audience that does not like their performance, that refuses to join in with it, that rejects utterly the actor’s assertion that their performance is reality.

No wonder TIP are distressed.

But the solution is not to force everybody else to go along with TIP’s performances.

I can't help feeling that if people have to perform being themselves, they are being themselves all wrong.

Isn't it unusual to see each moment of your day as happening on a stage or social media or some such? Don't they ever pick their noses, or fart?

Great post x

The author makes it clear that they believe 'performance anxiety' is the source of trans suicidality implying if the trans person just accepted who they are (read: repressed their innate inclinations towards the expression of masculinity or femininity) the anxiety would magically go away.

Repression/suppession of natural inclinations has long been an accepted source of psychological distress. Chronic suppression forces the brain to expend vast cognitive and physiological energy to keep baseline drives or feelings out of conscious awareness. Over time, this chronic internal conflict is known to erode resilience, dysregulates the nervous system and frequently manifests as psychological and somatic disorders. So it's no surprise conversion therapy is considered as damaging crankery by the medical profession.

I'm not a psychology expert but even I know that its not necessarily the circumstances causing the anxiety but how a person manages their anxiety. So I find it bizarre to say the least that instead of treating a person via cognitive behavioural therapy or other accepted methods to manage their anxiety the person must run away from any situations that might exacerbate it. Its like saying to a gay person if you don't want to deal with the anxiety of being publicly gay keep it in the closet.

You keep saying 'but other patients are treated differently'? How? Are they advised to repress their innate inclinations too to manage their anxiety? If they are it flies in the face of modern psychological practice of the patient centred approach (the patient leads) which has proven track record of being more successful in dealing with mental health problems. Hence affirmation being a logical conclusion. Affirmation isn't new but an extension of what has already been in place as standard practice for decades. I think the problem with the word 'affirmation' is people think that this means therapists are agreeing with patients on who they are when in fact its just not saying they are not when it comes to personality inclinations.

Checkmate 🤣

The author makes it clear that they believe 'performance anxiety' is the source of trans suicidality implying if the trans person just accepted who they are (read: repressed their innate inclinations towards the expression of masculinity or femininity) the anxiety would magically go away.

I understand it as the anxiety comes from the constant vigilance and questioning of whether the performance is working, not the inclination itself.

I'd read that as 'express their innate inclinations towards the expression of masculinity or femininity but train themselves not to care how others react to that'

Because life should not be a performance. Making it a performance is a symptom of a damaging neurosis.

The problem with the 'performance' take is that it assumes that the only reason trans people engage in masculine or feminine presentation is to 'convince' others of their gendered legitimacy when social acceptance is only a part of the picture. It's no different from saying everyone is only trying to 'prove' something from our aesthetic presentation rather than it simply being an expression of inner life. Being one's authentic self is the alignment of inner & out worlds that no doubt social rejection causes anxiety as we are social creatures after all. This whole 'performance anxiety' narrative acts as if this only applies to trans people when in fact a desire for social acceptance of who we are that involves constant vigilance & questioning is part of the human condition.

The idea that you can just simply stop the anxiety from questioning whether you are good enough to convince others of who you are doesn't take into account what we are all up against which is the innate driving force for that: personal inclinations that demand expression.

Again, sometimes we can't change our circumstances but we can change how we react to them AND a psych worth their salt should know this.

But if you can change how you react to them, then why isn't accepting reality not the best option?

The 'reality' you are missing here is the personality trait that demands expression. Whether it be a penchant for perfectionism, adventure, knowledge, competition, masculinity, femininity, spirituality, creativity etc they all demand expression. The reality is you can't push back the tide of who you really are without there being damaging consequences so learning to manage the stress of non acceptance is required.

I prefer a more quantifiable reality.

Feelz, especially When you can have no idea if they're accurate as you are not the thing you want to be, are frankly delusional.