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Original poster

Lactation support conference in Ireland - the quiet part out loud

537 replies

ArabellaScott · 25/08/2026 11:16

https://genspect.org/where-does-male-lactation-fit-in-breastfeeding-support-networks/

'This year’s program lists a lactation consultant called Jacob Engelsman speaking on “communicating inclusively: creating gender-affirming clinical spaces for families” and “lactation support for gender-diverse families”.'

'Jacob Engelsman is a Certified Lactation Consultant based in the US. He describes himself as an infant care specialist, speaker, and writer. He is the author of a recently published book, Lactation for the Rest of Us: A Guide for Queer and Trans Parents and Helpers, and specialises in inducing lactation in non-gestational parents (parents who haven’t given birth). “Lactation is for anyone” Jacob tells us in this podcast interview.
Engelsman’s interest and expertise is not limited to lactation for the purpose of feeding an infant. One of his previous presentations was “Inducing Lactation for Kinksters” and according to his CV he has been giving various talks including on lactation at Frolicon, an adult lifestyle and fetish convention held annually in Atlanta, Georgia with substantial programming around kink, BDSM, sexuality, polyamory, LGBTQ+ relationships and alternative sexual/family cultures.
He is not a nurse, midwife, doctor, or healthcare professional (nor does he claim to be). He is not a parent or someone with personal experience of breastfeeding. He got his certification five years ago and prior to that worked in the food service industry.'
...
'Why would a man want to lactate? In Engelsman’s own words:
“There are several reasons a person may choose to lactate regardless of whether they can gestate a child…a non-gestational parent might choose to induce lactation as a way to feel emotionally closer to the baby, assert their own feelings of parenthood, gender euphoria, or just for the unique experience of it.” (p.49)
Writing specifically about “cis” men, that is men who identify as men, he says:
“As to the question of why they would want to, it seems reasonable to believe that cis men want to lactate for the same reasons as anyone else. Which is to say, usually to feed and bond with their baby and to a lesser extent for curiosity, fun, or sexual gratification.” (p.152)'

Where Does Male Lactation Fit in Breastfeeding Support Networks? — Genspect

The Association of Lactation Consultants in Ireland (ALCI) will host its annual conference this coming October in Galway. Promotional posts on social media feature a lactation consultant, Jacob Engelsman, who promotes some practices that many people fi...

https://genspect.org/where-does-male-lactation-fit-in-breastfeeding-support-networks/

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Original poster
ArabellaScott · 03/09/2026 17:10

Well, in part. Supporting mothers to feed their baby is exactly the job of a breastfeeding expert. IMO that means non judgemental support, advice, listening. It's often emotional and supporting new mothers needs sensitivity and care, and that might also include signposting to other services, too.

OP posts:
IwantToRetire · 03/09/2026 17:39

re supposed threats - I suspect this is just the fact that some people are publicly challenging the very notion let alone the fact.

Just as on FWR and elsewhere anyone who takes a sex based rights is "unkind" or threatening.

nicepotoftea · 03/09/2026 17:54

I can believe that as soon as the story hit social media they got all sorts of strange messages from all sorts of strange people and some of them were threatening.

But I also think they are evading answering questions about how they got into this mess in the first place and acknowledging that they made a mistake.

Datun · 03/09/2026 17:57

ArabellaScott · 03/09/2026 17:10

Well, in part. Supporting mothers to feed their baby is exactly the job of a breastfeeding expert. IMO that means non judgemental support, advice, listening. It's often emotional and supporting new mothers needs sensitivity and care, and that might also include signposting to other services, too.

Yeah, I take your point. I just can't imagine a talk about it being more than use their preferred pronouns, and understand that they've got gender dysphoria.

I think what I'm trying to say is I bet the talk about it, isn't that. It will be about transphobia, about marginalised, about special caste, discrimination, etc.

AncientBallerina · 03/09/2026 18:45

Well exactly - it’s a really insight into the pure narcissism of this whole movement. The breastfeeding dyad is the woman and the baby she gave birth to.Gender identity as has nothing to do with it. With the proviso as above that a (biological, sigh) woman with gender dysphorie may need specific support. But that’s it really. No need for ‘queering’.

Examsareoverwoohoo · 04/09/2026 10:10

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 03/09/2026 16:56

I think that would depend on whether she had realised that amputating her breasts meant she'd have a problem breast-feeding thereafter. That would certainly mean she needed some support when it dawned on her what she'd done.

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Quite. As always it's all about paedophile males and their sexual gratification and none at all about actual biological women - no matter their inner identity or feelings.

Transgender ideology leads women to cut off their breasts - surely that's the biggest issue for any kind of lactation group. Not men using babies for sexual pleasure. It's obscene and it's criminal.

But no, it's all about 'inclusion' of the men (thereby excluding both women and children).

Surely they should be advocating for women delaying mastectomies if there's any chance they might want to have children / breastfeed doing work in that area to raise awareness as there are several stupid doctors who've claimed you can 'just get new breasts' if you want but you can't, not ones that lactate. Bet this bloke's talk didn't cover that angle.

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 04/09/2026 10:38

I very much doubt that his talk would have mentioned transmen at all, since his interest appears to be the sexual gratification of men both cis and trans who want babies trying (and failing) to feed from their nipples in order to give them a turn-on.

JellySaurus · 04/09/2026 13:22

Examsareoverwoohoo · 04/09/2026 10:10

Quite. As always it's all about paedophile males and their sexual gratification and none at all about actual biological women - no matter their inner identity or feelings.

Transgender ideology leads women to cut off their breasts - surely that's the biggest issue for any kind of lactation group. Not men using babies for sexual pleasure. It's obscene and it's criminal.

But no, it's all about 'inclusion' of the men (thereby excluding both women and children).

Surely they should be advocating for women delaying mastectomies if there's any chance they might want to have children / breastfeed doing work in that area to raise awareness as there are several stupid doctors who've claimed you can 'just get new breasts' if you want but you can't, not ones that lactate. Bet this bloke's talk didn't cover that angle.

Edited
Show quote history

For trans ideologues and MRAs women’s breasts are not organs evolved to feed babies. Neither are they organs of sexual pleasure for the woman. For these people, women’s breasts are gender-flag blobs that can be removed or added at will, and their only sexual function is to give pleasure to men.

Therefore a gender-distressed woman will not hear any warning about consequences. It will be meaningless to her.

MarjorieWestriding · 04/09/2026 13:35

Thinking - rather unwillingly, I admit - about this ghastly man, I'm trying to get my head around why he thinks women are lying when they say their babies were exclusively breastfed. I mean, what does he think happened before formula milk was invented? Surely if it wasn't for women exclusively breastfeeding their babies, humanity wouldn't even exist. What on earth is going on in that man's mind? The more I think about it, the more of an idiot he is.

Original poster
ArabellaScott · 04/09/2026 14:01

MarjorieWestriding · 04/09/2026 13:35

Thinking - rather unwillingly, I admit - about this ghastly man, I'm trying to get my head around why he thinks women are lying when they say their babies were exclusively breastfed. I mean, what does he think happened before formula milk was invented? Surely if it wasn't for women exclusively breastfeeding their babies, humanity wouldn't even exist. What on earth is going on in that man's mind? The more I think about it, the more of an idiot he is.

He doesn't. He just has a project to undermine women and plant the suggestion that they give unreliable testimony.

There are a few reasons he might do this. None of them are good.

OP posts:
moto748e · 04/09/2026 14:01

So were mothers more 'successful' at breast-feeding three, four, five hundred years ago? I suppose if they couldn't manage they just gave them cow's milk or goat's. In the days before NHS guidelines.

Original poster
ArabellaScott · 04/09/2026 14:04

Diisrupting the mother/baby bond and dyad, and planting the seeds that mothers are unreliable liars, or that breastfeeding involves 'everyone', including single men, or pansexual non monogamous men.

He also describes how he didn't want to be a doula because he wanted to work with babies and didn't want to work with parents.

OP posts:
Original poster
ArabellaScott · 04/09/2026 14:13

https://www.polyfriendly.org/entry/2119_jacob-engelsman_qtp-doula-the-birth-geek-independent-contractor/

'Jacob Engelsman
Birth Doula, Postpartum and Infant Care Doula - (at QTP Doula/The Birth Geek (Independent Contractor))
I own the company QTP Doula and am an independent contractor through The Birth Geek in Atlanta, GA where I serve as a birth doula as well as a postpartum and infant care doula. I did my postpartum training through ProDoula and my birth training through DONA so as to have a variety of perspectives to draw from. My emphasis is working with non-traditional families, specifically those of the LGBT and poly variety.

Jacob Engelsman - Family and Childbirth from US-GA

I own the company QTP Doula and am an independent contractor through The Birth Geek in Atlanta, GA where I serve as a birth doula as well as a postpartum and infant care doula. I did my postpartum training through ProDoula and my birth training through...

https://www.polyfriendly.org/entry/2119_jacob-engelsman_qtp-doula-the-birth-geek-independent-contractor

OP posts:
Waitingfordoggo · 04/09/2026 14:14

MarjorieWestriding · 04/09/2026 13:35

Thinking - rather unwillingly, I admit - about this ghastly man, I'm trying to get my head around why he thinks women are lying when they say their babies were exclusively breastfed. I mean, what does he think happened before formula milk was invented? Surely if it wasn't for women exclusively breastfeeding their babies, humanity wouldn't even exist. What on earth is going on in that man's mind? The more I think about it, the more of an idiot he is.

This was my thought too- ‘How come this ‘expert’ knows so little about breastfeeding? Or has given its history so little thought?’

But I’m sure @ArabellaScott is right that it’s absolutely deliberate and is all about undermining women, because painting us all as liars makes it easier for him to facilitate perverts in plain sight.

OP posts:
Waitingfordoggo · 04/09/2026 14:17

ArabellaScott · 03/09/2026 15:27

I can imagine that a woman who is 'trans' identifying may have additional support needs when it comes to infant feeding.

My first concern would be whether it would be in the best interests of both mother and/or baby to breastfeed.

If the trans-identifying woman takes testosterone (or wants to), that would surely be a factor to consider in breastfeeding. I know that women have testosterone naturally, but presumably the amount is much higher for trans-identifying women. I don’t know science so I could be wrong.

Original poster
ArabellaScott · 04/09/2026 14:19

https://www.badoulatrainings.org/blog/inducing-lactation-an-informational-guide-from-an-ibclc

Here, he talks about buying Domperidone using bitcoin.

'The reason it isn’t prevalent in the US is that it isn’t FDA approved due to a risk of cardiac arrhythmia. However, this risk primarily exists when people are being given injections instead of pills and for an older population who are more likely to have heart troubles to begin with.
This is definitely something amab people need to be aware of since they have a higher risk of heart disease, but healthy afab people are generally in the clear if your doctor approves.
While you can’t get it anywhere in the US, it is fairly easy to order online and can be purchased in Canada if you’re up for a road trip. One of the websites most known for selling it (Inhouse Pharmacy) was only accepting bitcoin for a while, but as of this writing it looks like they’re back to accepting US dollars. '

All About Inducing Lactation: An Informational Guide From an IBCLC — Birthing Advocacy Doula Trainings

by Jacob Engelsman Inducing lactation seems to be one of those things that many people don’t hear about until after it’s relevant to their life. I don’t know how many times I’ve had someone shocked to learn it was an option, and dismayed that no o...

https://www.badoulatrainings.org/blog/inducing-lactation-an-informational-guide-from-an-ibclc

OP posts:
AimsAndObjectives · 04/09/2026 14:19

MarjorieWestriding · 04/09/2026 13:35

Thinking - rather unwillingly, I admit - about this ghastly man, I'm trying to get my head around why he thinks women are lying when they say their babies were exclusively breastfed. I mean, what does he think happened before formula milk was invented? Surely if it wasn't for women exclusively breastfeeding their babies, humanity wouldn't even exist. What on earth is going on in that man's mind? The more I think about it, the more of an idiot he is.

@Cailin66 gave a good answer upthread.

Men cannot breastfeed. Some of the transexuals that take enough of a cocktail of drugs can eventually secrete something, but it’s not breast milk. And it most certainly wouldn’t be more than a couple of spoonfuls. So the only reason to do it is for that man’s sexual fetish. Because it’s not milk and it’s not enough, the baby obviously has to be fed instead by formula. If you say women who breastfeed also use formula, that means the transexuals are just as much a woman as a real woman.

Asserting that every woman who breastfeeds also uses formula, sets the scene for men to 'chestfeed and use formula', just like women.
I wouldn't be surprised if the word 'chestfeed', ostensibly introduced to avoid word-trauma for trans-identified females, has actually been introduced to help to normalise this fetish.

Original poster
ArabellaScott · 04/09/2026 14:21

https://www.badoulatrainings.org/blog/5-meaningful-ways-to-be-a-gender-inclusive-provider

' Practice using the singular ‘they’ (a great thing about ‘they’ is that everyone can be ‘they’) and try an exercise, either by yourself in the mirror or with a friend, where you practice misgendering a person, briefly apologize, and get back on track. That way, when you do misgender a patient you don’t get flustered and make it more uncomfortable.'

5 Meaningful Ways to Be a Gender Inclusive Provider — Birthing Advocacy Doula Trainings

For a few weeks now two subjects have been floating around in my brain like hot air balloons drifting past each other but not quite touching. When I was asked to write this piece, the two balloons finally made contact. I’ve been thinking about queer i...

https://www.badoulatrainings.org/blog/5-meaningful-ways-to-be-a-gender-inclusive-provider

OP posts:
BruachAbhann · 04/09/2026 14:21

ArabellaScott · 04/09/2026 14:04

Diisrupting the mother/baby bond and dyad, and planting the seeds that mothers are unreliable liars, or that breastfeeding involves 'everyone', including single men, or pansexual non monogamous men.

He also describes how he didn't want to be a doula because he wanted to work with babies and didn't want to work with parents.

Further attempts by our government to erode the very concept of motherhood and being a woman. In the family and care referendum (2024), Irish citizens were asked to vote on a change in the wording of the constitution which would have changed the legal nature and role of family and the role of 'mother' as primary caregiver.
Thank God the people voted against this change in an overwhelming majority thanks to some excellent campaigners (67% voted no to change the family referendum, 32% voted yes, 73.9 per cent 'no' to change care referendum (which proposed to remove the role of mother in the family).

The gall of the HSE not to condemn this speaker and the ALCI is very worrying. And the lack of media coverage in mainstream media at this issue is frightening. I mean, his intentions are obvious; he promotes breastfeeding for men for sexual gratification and has proudly and unashamedly stated this. There is no spin a reasonably-minded person could put on this which would make it ok. Why is he not being arrested as I type??

Whosthetabbynow · 04/09/2026 14:24

🤮

BruachAbhann · 04/09/2026 14:25

BruachAbhann · 04/09/2026 14:21

Further attempts by our government to erode the very concept of motherhood and being a woman. In the family and care referendum (2024), Irish citizens were asked to vote on a change in the wording of the constitution which would have changed the legal nature and role of family and the role of 'mother' as primary caregiver.
Thank God the people voted against this change in an overwhelming majority thanks to some excellent campaigners (67% voted no to change the family referendum, 32% voted yes, 73.9 per cent 'no' to change care referendum (which proposed to remove the role of mother in the family).

The gall of the HSE not to condemn this speaker and the ALCI is very worrying. And the lack of media coverage in mainstream media at this issue is frightening. I mean, his intentions are obvious; he promotes breastfeeding for men for sexual gratification and has proudly and unashamedly stated this. There is no spin a reasonably-minded person could put on this which would make it ok. Why is he not being arrested as I type??

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Don't know how to edit- excellent campaigners who showed us what the government were trying to sneak in, I mean

Original poster
ArabellaScott · 04/09/2026 14:33

Engelsman contributed a short section to this book.

https://global.oup.com/academic/product/trans-bodies-trans-selves-9780190092726

In the 'transfeminine' (i.e. male) section, he talks about womb transplants. He also talks about 'non nutritive' sucking.

He states: 'there is no reason to feel that offering the baby your nipple if you are not lactating is an attempt to trick or deceive your child'.

Odd phrasing.

Older babies and toddlers may suck for comfort, but in the early days, this may well interfere with establishing feeding. It's irresponsible at very best.

Lactation support conference in Ireland - the quiet part out loud
OP posts:
AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 04/09/2026 14:38

ArabellaScott · 04/09/2026 14:16

https://www.badoulatrainings.org/blog/top-surgery-and-lactation-what-you-need-to-know?rq=engelsman

Blog from Engelsman on females breastfeeding post mastectomy etc. I don't actually see how it would be possible 'if you don't have nipples'.

In which he says

What if I don’t have nipples?
gives a couple of examples of people without nipples, and then cheerfully suggests
Neither of these scenarios means that you can’t feed your baby at your chest, and even latch them if you would like to.

I wonder what someone without nipples would latch a baby onto? I suspect i might prefer not to know, though.

AimsAndObjectives · 04/09/2026 14:41

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 04/09/2026 14:38

In which he says

What if I don’t have nipples?
gives a couple of examples of people without nipples, and then cheerfully suggests
Neither of these scenarios means that you can’t feed your baby at your chest, and even latch them if you would like to.

I wonder what someone without nipples would latch a baby onto? I suspect i might prefer not to know, though.

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It seems to be 'latch them' onto a silicone nipple shield.🙄