Lactation support conference in Ireland - the quiet part out loud

Predatory men, I have come to realise, make it their lives' work to chip away at safeguarding, undermine women, sow doubt, distrust, uncertainty.

It's a kind of quest. Based, I suppose, on personality disorder, a need for control and coercion, power.

The idea that they are only operating in a predatory way in terms of definite targets/victims is an error. I wonder if one could even see the abuse as one part of an overarching mindset, if that makes sense.

As an abusive man may have many victims, but that's not the entirety of his abusive project.

Not sure if this quite makes sense, I'm thinking it through.

Because society has been groomed. Deliberately and bit by bit. That's how predators work. They find the loopholes and gaps and sacred castes, and build cases around them and extending from them. It's always layered like an onion. Can't cast aspersion on this man, because of x, y, or z. Can't doubt. Can't ask questions in case of a,b, and c.

Always coupled with, if you do doubt/ask questions/cast aspersions, then you are [evil/bigoted/prudish/stupid/backward/old-fashioned/etc], maligned, smeared, ridiculed, etc.

Good people are kind. Good people are supportive, have empathy, are nice. Good girls stay quiet for their own good.

Anything that seeks to shut women up, anything that casts women's questions/voices/ideas/speech in a negative light, springs from this same enterprise, which protects predators, promotes sexism, is rooted in misogyny, is all about seeking ways to coerce, manipulate, and at base, abuse.

It's just very difficult to type out the facts here without certain conclusions looking overwhelmingly likely.

What's the alternative? Man talks about lactation for sexual gratification and also baby care, but keeps a bright line between the two? Man who say women are 'all all lying to each other' and that 'nobody' exclusively breastfeeds, while purporting to be a 'lactation consultant', is really about helping women?

Is it possible he is just a boorish opportunist who really likes babies and also supports lactation kink, but the two are unconnected?

I suppose that is the argument that the ALCI are positing.

https://alcireland.ie/events/vgXmMqIczz2txISSbvcf

'ALCI's National Conference, October 9th and 10th 2026 - Online
9 October 2026 - 08:00 AM
Virtual Conference - Recordings available to all ticket holders for 4 weeks post event
Conference Update - 9th & 10th October Programme Change
This conference will now be delivered as a fully online event. An updated timetable will follow as soon as possible.

September 1 2026
_
Join us for two inspiring days of learning and professional development. We have an exciting programme featuring national and international speakers.
Speaker announcements and programme updates will continue to be shared on our social media channels.
This is an Online Virtual Conference - recordings will be available to all ticket holders for 4 weeks post-event.'

I wonder if Jacob is still being 'supported' to be a speaker.

https://ibclc-commission.org/ibclc-information/

'The IBCLC Commission, like most certification boards, has a complaint process with respect to alleged violations of the Code of Professional Conduct. Any complaints must be signed and submitted to the IBCLC Commission (see form above). Before submitting a complaint, one should familiarise themselves with the Disciplinary Procedures and ensure compliance with the requirements.'

Drafting a complaint. If anyone else wants to use this to refer to, please feel free:

Certificant: Jacob Engelsman, IBCLC, Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Nature of complaint: Public statements concerning breastfeeding, professional accuracy, safeguarding and public trust

I wish to raise concerns regarding public statements made by Jacob Engelsman while publicly identifying and presenting himself as an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant.

My complaint concerns the following material:

1. Sexual gratification presented as a reason for male lactation

In Lactation for the Rest of Us: A Guide for Queer and Trans Parents and Helpers, Mr Engelsman writes:

“As to the question of why they would want to, it seems reasonable to believe that cis men want to lactate for the same reasons as anyone else. Which is to say, usually to feed and bond with their baby and to a lesser extent for curiosity, fun, or sexual gratification.”

This appears on page 152.

Mr Engelsman has also reportedly delivered a presentation entitled “Inducing Lactation for Kinksters” at Frolicon, an adult fetish convention.

I am concerned by the treatment of sexual gratification as a possible motivation within professional material dealing with lactation and infant feeding, without an explicit and unequivocal distinction between consensual adult lactation and any activity involving an infant. Where babies and vulnerable postpartum families are concerned, professional boundaries and safeguarding must be unambiguous. I ask the Commission to consider whether this material is compatible with the standards of professional conduct, judgement and public trust expected of an IBCLC.

2. False and disparaging statements about mothers who exclusively breastfeed

In a publicly available recorded interview, Mr Engelsman discussed a mother saying that her friends’ babies were exclusively breastfed. He responded:
“No, they’re lying to you. They don’t want to lose face because there’s shame surrounding it. You are all just lying to each other. And if one of you would own up and say at some point my baby had some formula and it wasn’t the end of the world, you would all be better off for it.”

The assertion that mothers who report exclusively breastfeeding are lying is plainly unsustainable. Many babies are exclusively breastfed, and exclusive breastfeeding is a recognised infant-feeding category used by public-health and clinical bodies internationally.

The statement does not merely acknowledge that some parents may use formula while feeling unable to disclose it. It dismisses mothers’ accounts as dishonest and presents an unsupported generalisation as fact. Such comments may undermine women’s confidence in seeking lactation support and damage trust between breastfeeding mothers and IBCLCs.

Further, WHO and UNICEF recommend exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months. Frequent, unrestricted breastfeeding establishes and maintains milk supply; replacing breastfeeds with formula reduces milk removal and can undermine supply. Engelsman’s claim is therefore not only insulting to mothers but contrary to basic lactation physiology and international breastfeeding guidance.

I ask the Commission to consider whether these statements breach the following provisions of the Code of Professional Conduct:

• Principle 1, including the obligation to provide services protecting, promoting and supporting breastfeeding and to provide evidence-informed care.
• Principle 2, concerning professional diligence, accountability and practice within the IBCLC scope.
• Principle 6.1, requiring an IBCLC to behave honestly and fairly as a health professional.
• Principle 7.2, requiring IBCLCs to provide accurate information to the public and colleagues concerning lactation-consultant services.
• Any applicable requirements concerning professional boundaries, public communications and maintaining public confidence in the IBCLC credential.

I am requesting an ethics review of specific professional statements concerning infant feeding, sexual motivation, the truthfulness of breastfeeding mothers, and the safeguarding standards expected of an IBCLC.

Please confirm whether this complaint satisfies the Commission’s threshold for investigation and whether further material is required.