“Why aren’t you getting changed”. Man asks female Darlington nurse this 3 times in female changeroom

I work with a young lady who is about 17
Lovely young lass who does dance
Its a female class and last year a young lad (about the same age) started
All he has to do is slap on a frock and boom!he's a girl
I've had endless chats with her about why he should not be there,he should not be taking part in female dance competitions and he should be with the boys

'But he's a girl now'
'He's transgender and feels like a girl'
'He's taking tablets'
'We don't mind'
'The school/parents are happy for 'her' to be there'
'His lady penis doesn't mean he shouldn't be there'

It's not on
I don't care how he feels or what clothes he wears,he should be in his own lane and not taking over from genuine girls (women) but she really believes that he's a girl now so should be treated like one

I've tried the whole 'penis/vagina' and that '#bekind' doesnt mean handing over our hard won rights but she's that gaslighted,she's ignoring me and insisting he should be welcome in a female sport

They are laughing at us

What really stuck is the same hospital that he dealing with was the same hospital that refused to treat my friends cancer

She wasn't going to get any better but with treatment,we could have got an extra 5 or so years out of her

She could have been around for her adult children,watched her grand babies grow a bit more and just had an extra 5 or so years

As it was another hospital did get her an extra 18 months (she had to travel an extra 20 miles to get there)

She said they'd basically told her to 'go away and die fast'

But they could pour money into his lady feelz

It makes me so angry-she was precious and a massive part of my life-shed paid into the system while Malcom hadn't (he'd been in the dole for a very long time before starting work-not benefit bashing)

Her life meant nothing but his feelings did

It really is a man's world. Fucking MacDonald's spineless management telling staff to clean up after that prick malcolm and Rainbow's friend having to pay for hair removal while these failures at being men get it handed to them on a plate knowing full well they shouldn't be being believed.

These fuckings handmaidens are nothing to them other than a means to an end and a little bit of fawning to boost their narcissistic egos. If only they could see it.

Eww. That sounds like deliberate "dunging".

The horrible things l learn on MN... Anyway, it's apparently a known thing.

Informative thread here, for anyone who has the stomach, but there was also a MNer who was the target of it in her own small business.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4413826-Gross-acts-of-urine-vandalism-in-Edinburgh?page=1

Fucking hell. That's horrendous. It beggars belief doesn't it.

Here's my story and probably what peaked me back in 2019:

I'm a trained sports massage therapist and I was delighted to be offered a new treatment room in a private clinic in a swanky part of town. A friend of mine already worked there doing laser hair removal. When I started, I noticed that the waiting area was always full of men in dresses and make up obviously awaiting laser hair removal, which I was rold was funded via NHS as it was traumatic for them to have male related face and body hair. My pal would tell me that these lovely, gentle trans ladies were so vulnerable blah blah. She was very much the gently spoken head-tilting be kind type. She took it upon herself to bring up her clients to meet me if I wasn't busy. She would explain to me that because they were 'vulnerable' and 'struggling' they would likely benefit from a massage and maybe I could do a special rate for them as they were already patients at the clinic. (Err, no) Every single time, a man with false nails, make-up and high heels would tower above me and smirk down at me as they crushed shook my hand. I was introduced to dozens of them. None booked in with me, but I got so sick of having to have their vulnerability rammed down my neck. It also pissed me off that both my best friend was paying a fortune for facial laser hair removal (PCOS) and all these buggers were getting funded cos 'traumatic'

Anyway, I just left after six months. Couldn't stomach it any more. Such an utterly toxic Be Kind culture whereby the entirely female staff were tripping over themselves to bow to the vulnerability of these men and compliment then on their eyeshadow. Always, the smirk was there.

I went back last year to meet my new baby granddaughter and popped in (I moved away not long afterwards)

He's still there,shitting up the bowl and pissing on the floor (I got talking to some of them)

He smirked as I walked in-he knew full well why I quit

They employ younger women apparently who either shut up,put up and clean up after him or quit soon after

It's fucking gaslighting

That's so awful - well done for quitting. Of course this sort of mass employee protest never makes the news. His behaviour was so antisocial and designed to intimidate. I wonder what the branch did in the end - presumably ended up with all male staff?

I know. It’s so awful. Take care

It’s unbearable. What did politicians do to women with their GRA legislation.

I know this isn't in the theme of the nhs and thank god for Karen

Standing up to this man 'rose'

I'm genuinely so sorry she's had to stand up,be counted and reveal her abuse-we're not the ones that need educating

About 10 years ago I worked at a maccies up North

I started at the same time as a man (that I'll call malcom)

He was,well,a bit odd but as it takes all types to make a world,I was friendly with him (not friends,but I do believe everyone should be treated with dignity and respect)

I'd been there about 6 months when malcom came to work,wearing a skirt,tights and a very visible bra (I can't explain properly but you could see it through his blouse) and calling himself 'gemma'

I could squeeze 'Gemma' out at a push but a lot of people refused and got warnings from the bosses

We ladies had a rule-you left the toliet as you'd want to find it-this was a spoken rule,made very clear within us women and we all stuck to it

The blokes loo was next door and a disabled next to that (the disabled was always spotless but I wouldn't know about the lads)

Malcom (as gemma) started using our toilet (and the bosses told us to suck it up) and coming out with that smirk on his face and leaving the most horrendous mess-shit caked up the bowl and piss all over the floor-it would be stinking and swimming in piss (he would come out,smirk in place and scam the room for our faces)

We all got together and went to the bosses-everyone understood he needed to use a toliet but we didn't want him in our-there was a blokes loo next door or to use the disabled (that wasn't open to the public-staff only)

They refused to stop him-we where told to clear up his mess and to stop moaning as if they had a word,it would hurt his lady feelings and they where scared he'd take them to court

28 of us quit within the month (I was one of them-one lady was so disgusted, she was handing in her notice but died the day before she got the chance,so technically 29 of us)

21 of us where women

He was all over Facebook with that smirk and gloating that he was now a woman and we couldn't stop him using our toilets as he had lady feelings had grown his hair,wore lipstick and a bra

And what really was the icing on the cake was we lived not far from each other-we caught the same bus

He was having treatment on the nhs and had a free bus pass as work was on the way to the hospital

The same route cost me £60 a month (I was on minimum wage and it was a squeeze on my budget)

The nhs should never have paid for fuck all-its for health care not pandering to this shite (the same hospital refused to treat my friends cancer due to budget cuts-she had to go to one 20 miles away) but could pay for his lady feelz

As far as I'm aware,he's still on fb,with that smirk and telling the world that only his feelings matter and fuck women

God that actually made me cry.

I'm going through some gynae and bowel stuff at the moment. It's stressful. I can't imagine how horrendous this must have been.

So, so upsetting. And it makes me so angry. So, so angry.

The anti-democratic actions of the epistemic and lanyard classes. The complete capture of so many organisations.

I agree.

On another thread Con the ME about NHS nurses not allowed on protests in support of Palestinians in Gaza in their uniforms, someone said it was simply NHS policy not to allow politics to be associated with work in anyway.

I pointed out the discrepancy with the rainbow lanyards so many NHS staff wear and the rainbow edged zebra crossings in front of hospitals, but this was dismissed as being completely different - just supporting the ‘LGBTQA+community’.

Yes and this is where the NHS with its ludicrous policies, the BBC with their biased and inaccurate reporting, the Universities creating a generation with no resilience, and all the institutions complicit have created so much mental ill health in young people. It's just not healthy to be so lacking in empathy and is unlikely to result in a happy life because ultimately people don't have to be your friend.

Absolutely agree that all these institutions have shockingly misled, misrepresented and lied to young people and that this is resulting in active harm. Maybe in another generation we’ll wonder how on earth we allowed for this to happen.

In the meantime, many young people and many of the bekind adults instinctively know that this conversation is not about kindness but about power and dominance.

Mostly about new avenues of leverage over women including HR Directors over female employees but also the young using the bekind stick as leverage to beat up older adults. We see this when we realise that kindness has nothing to do with any of it. I fear that institutions have lost their critical facilities and their authority in riding the bandwagon of ‘student voice’, which has become more important seemingly than teaching critical thinking.

You have a point there. When parents say my child is trans at primary school and everyone else has to buy into this it is pushing narcissistic behaviour. The child becomes all powerful. Can get other children who know reality into trouble. The be kind little Tim is now little Tara doesn't really help little Tim.

There is a huge amount of narcissism in these people; if they weren't like that in their previous lives the training of the ideology has guided them in that direction. Their brains are rewired so that they follow the faith unquestioningly.

Yes and this is where the NHS with its ludicrous policies, the BBC with their biased and inaccurate reporting, the Universities creating a generation with no resilience, and all the institutions complicit have created so much mental ill health in young people. It's just not healthy to be so lacking in empathy and is unlikely to result in a happy life because ultimately people don't have to be your friend. They don't have to socialise with you, date you or spend any time with you. I know the NHS policies try and force people to be subservient but you can't force people to befriend narcissists. People will generally resist being treated like dirt, funnily enough.

The only people it will possibly be ok for is very rich children of very rich people. Because if you have money you can buy faux friends. But for normal children and young people, being trained into narcissism is a fast track to a miserable life.

It really should be criminal.

Agreed.

So do other public sector organisations.

The NHS needs suing.

"If only they had enough of their own brain power left to see how controlled and manipulated they actually are."

Exactly. It's the same as the rise in Right Wing conspiracy beliefs. It's all just forms of extremism, enabled and fuelled by the Internet. Collective narcissism indeed. They are the special enlightened ones.

It’s collective narcissism

https://psychcentral.com/health/collective-narcissism#recap

This.

you'd think they'd realise such a total failure of empathy would make most normal people dismiss their point of view completely

They don't have the brain power to see anything from any other perspective other than their own. They consider themselves to be the normal ones. But special, obvs.

There is a huge amount of narcissism in these people; if they weren't like that in their previous lives the training of the ideology has guided them in that direction. Their brains are rewired so that they follow the faith unquestioningly. If only they had enough of their own brain power left to see how controlled and manipulated they actually are.

One of the TRAs' favourite words is "dehumanise".

But the TRA response to this article is dehumanisation writ large. There is no basic human empathy for this woman who experienced rape as a child. Nothing. Zero. Because they see her as part of a perceived group they hate, so completely dehumanise her as not deserving of empathy or sympathy.

Thing is, I do think there will be trans people reading that thread who maybe do have empathy but who are too afraid to present an opposing view. And they call FWR an echo chamber??!

It's quite shocking that when this brave nurse is disclosing her abuse as a child, they don't - even then - take a nanosecond to think 'hmmm, this woman has suffered terribly maybe claiming she's 'weaponising her abuse' might not look very good'. Even if they're evil enough really not to care about child abuse, you'd think they'd realise such a total failure of empathy would make most normal people dismiss their point of view completely.

Any normal person will just read that and think 'nah, I can't trust anything you say if you can try to use that again her, because doing so is truly evil'.

And in fact, it rather would encourage people to think that their overriding desire to get into women's spaces isn't the innocent desire for validation or safety or whatever they claim that it is. And perhaps women shouldn't have to 'be kind' to people who can't muster up the tiniest bit of kindness towards a victim of child abuse.

You can't reasonably completely dismiss terrible child abuse and refuse to 'be kind' to the person who experienced it, in fact framing her disclosure as some kind of attack, then ask the same person who suffered that terrible child abuse to 'be kind' to you because you want male bodied 'transwomen' in the ladies changing room just because.

It totally undermines the 'most vulnerable' narrative.

It's sickening.

Not trigger warning: child abuse.

It just shows what self-centred dicks they all are.

Yes, this is the problem. The Internet has allowed for this to snowball in a mass collective need for attention, exaggeration and ever more imagined scenarios.

Back in my day Years ago they would just be sitting in their bedrooms with their parents saying "just ignore him, he's attention seeking again". Now they are sitting in their bedrooms egging each other on online and becoming ever more ridiculous and OTT in their delusions language. Unbelievably, it's fucking worked for them. Who the hell would have thought this back in the 1970's?

Their accusations are admissions.