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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

I’m the girl banned for asking a transgender opponent: Are you a man?

131 replies

IDareSay · 10/05/2025 08:23

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/gift/9eac5e4f059c1924

Very brave young woman. Excellent article from Ben Rumsby.

"She has been banned from playing football for asking a transgender opponent: “Are you a man?” She has been discussed and debated on television, online and in parliament. She has become a symbol in the fight against those born male playing in women’s sport. And almost nobody knows who she is.
Until now."

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Enough4me · 14/07/2025 00:47

I agree but it's not just youth, if you feel like an alien on this planet it's always there. Facts hold you together and give you a sense of reality and lies...are simply lies. The 'be kind' mantra is really a load of manipulating rubbish.

JellySaurus · 14/07/2025 00:40

There are plenty of autistic youth who feel like aliens in their own bodies, while also recognising that these are their own bodies, which they cannot run away from, and that pretending that they are not is more harmful than feeling awkward. Which, let's face it, is day-to-day normality for many autistic people.

EggCustardTartt · 14/07/2025 00:14

Only balls on the pitch in women's football should be the ones being kicked!

(maybe that's what we need to do lol) 🤣

SuperNameChanged · 11/05/2025 20:27

TwoLoonsAndASprout · 10/05/2025 09:54

Slight derail: the Telegraph article says that Cerys is autistic. I’m curious - in my experience, there seems to be a quite binary (sorry!) split in autistic youth between those who feel like aliens in their own bodies and so are drawn to trans ideology as an explanation, and those who are extremely dismissive of trans ideology because it’s completely unscientific. I wonder what dictates which path an autistic child might go down…

I've said here before - my mildly autistic son constantly mis-sexes / misgenders people. He had a woman narrator on a YouTube video the other day and was astonished when I said that was a woman. He just does not seem to read any of the sex / gender signs correctly.

Doesn't answer your question but I find it fascinating

Conkerjar · 11/05/2025 18:37

ApocalipstickNow · 10/05/2025 15:59

👏 I’m giving you a round of applause for that The Stuff reference 👏

Can't get enough of the stuff! 😄 I think it's the only weird vintage special effects horror I've seen but there's always someone who knows what I'm on about. I'm the least film-buffy person I know 😆

Helleofabore · 11/05/2025 09:34

Chrysanthemum5 · 11/05/2025 09:29

@Helleofabore I believe Karen in being protected by the other nurses. So they out forward the tribunal based on their discomfort but didn't make her join that as they knew it would be traumatic. Karen has decided to speak now as she wants to show how bad it was for her but do that on her own terms (according to the article).

The other nurses have never named Karen as they felt the same as her but also felt she shouldn't have to share her private life. It's a shame the NHS didn't offer her that same basic right

But she is one of the group of eight isn’t she? She is involved in the court case?

Chrysanthemum5 · 11/05/2025 09:29

@Helleofabore I believe Karen in being protected by the other nurses. So they out forward the tribunal based on their discomfort but didn't make her join that as they knew it would be traumatic. Karen has decided to speak now as she wants to show how bad it was for her but do that on her own terms (according to the article).

The other nurses have never named Karen as they felt the same as her but also felt she shouldn't have to share her private life. It's a shame the NHS didn't offer her that same basic right

RainbowZebraWarrior · 11/05/2025 09:27

TwoLoonsAndASprout · 11/05/2025 08:12

I think that’s the T-shirt of the summer!

I see it in a nice green with purple lettering!

RainbowZebraWarrior · 11/05/2025 09:26

Datun · 11/05/2025 08:00

Ooh, 'be more Cerys'. That's a good bit of shorthand right there, RainbowZebraWarrior

Edited

I think we should all start wearing badges with "No!" on them. Come to think of it, I have one already from a Sarah Millican gig.

I'm also very fond of GG's "I don't care" Women really need to say this more often.

Helleofabore · 11/05/2025 09:20

Datun · 11/05/2025 08:46

Indeed.

Meanwhile, on the other thread about the Darlington nurses, it seems that one of the nurses, who had suffered from appalling CSA, was booked in for a hysterectomy, and the bloody transwoman was supposed to assist, 'down that end'.

The nurse who objected was called a bigot and told her surgery would be cancelled unless she fucking complied.

how bad does this have to fucking well get???

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5332492-why-arent-you-getting-changed-man-asks-female-darlington-nurse-this-3-times-in-female-changeroom

I think that the bright light being shone on the multiple layers of the Darlington case will make society’s introduction to Dr Beth Upton pale by comparison.

This case is even more shocking than Sandie Peggie’s case and I had hoped that Sandie’s case was as shocking as the NHS could get. I only hope that Karen doesn’t have to go through her trauma on the stand and this tribunal is settled before it begins.

Datun · 11/05/2025 08:46

borntobequiet · 11/05/2025 08:42

We need something like that for the outrage of asking women to empathise with the very people who are exploiting them.

Not quite on a par with having to hear your abuser/attacker referred to as “she” in court, but the same mindset.

Indeed.

Meanwhile, on the other thread about the Darlington nurses, it seems that one of the nurses, who had suffered from appalling CSA, was booked in for a hysterectomy, and the bloody transwoman was supposed to assist, 'down that end'.

The nurse who objected was called a bigot and told her surgery would be cancelled unless she fucking complied.

how bad does this have to fucking well get???

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5332492-why-arent-you-getting-changed-man-asks-female-darlington-nurse-this-3-times-in-female-changeroom

borntobequiet · 11/05/2025 08:42

We need something like that for the outrage of asking women to empathise with the very people who are exploiting them.

Not quite on a par with having to hear your abuser/attacker referred to as “she” in court, but the same mindset.

TwoLoonsAndASprout · 11/05/2025 08:12

Datun · 11/05/2025 08:00

Ooh, 'be more Cerys'. That's a good bit of shorthand right there, RainbowZebraWarrior

Edited

I think that’s the T-shirt of the summer!

Datun · 11/05/2025 08:00

Ooh, 'be more Cerys'. That's a good bit of shorthand right there, RainbowZebraWarrior

Datun · 11/05/2025 07:59

As other people are noting, and I see Sharron Davies did the same, and Maya Fostarter. Women keep being asked whether they have empathy for the people who are abusing them!

Demanding apologies and redress is nowhere, absolutely bloody nowhere on people's radar.

i'm trying to think of a shorthanded way of both describing the phenomenon, and making it clear what an outrage it is.

In the same sort of way that putting "be kind" in quotes came to describe the phenomenon of forcing compliance from women through guilt.

We need something like that for the outrage of asking women to empathise with the very people who are exploiting them.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 11/05/2025 07:54

Another adding my thanks @BeReet
Please tell Cerys I think she is absolutely bloody amazing!

Everyone should be more Cerys.

Datun · 11/05/2025 07:50

BeReet

Lovely of you to post on here.

Your daughter is incredibly brave. Standing up to this juggernaut is terrifying and she's doing it, really bloody doing it.

Please tell her we all especially love 'The No'.

Do you feel sympathy for these men?

No.

Fantastic stuff.

Gettingmadderallthetime · 11/05/2025 07:31

I liked the bit where the interviewer hesitated. He seemed to struggle for the word he needed when he talked about the FA having prioritised 'inclusion rather than ... Exclusion'. Think that the word that first jumped to mind was 'fairness'.

Excluding non-woman from the women's game. How bizarre. Any chance of 're-education for BBC staff?

WarriorN · 11/05/2025 07:23

Actually they need to be re educated.

WarriorN · 11/05/2025 07:22

borntobequiet · 10/05/2025 09:06

I notice the BBC interviewer (Dan Roan?) does the “don’t you feel sympathy for the men” bit as well. Prat.

I also wondered if she had been told she shouldn’t mention the beard.

oh my god. No fuck off. BBC need to read the rules of misogyny

BeyondHumanKenDoll · 11/05/2025 06:55

Male BBC reporters love asking women about their sympathy levels don't they, unfailingly observing that unwritten rule that women will always be held to higher empathy standards than men even when they are very clearly the victims of injustice.

Women do not owe sympathy to anyone, particularly those who have campaigned to undermine safety and fairness in women's sport.

DrBlackbird · 10/05/2025 23:08

To protect the players involved, and to respect the confidential details included, we are not in a position to publish further details about this case.

No wonder they didn’t want names or images published. Seeing the ‘transwoman’ with a beard might have peaked more people and realised a) how unfair it was to penalise a 12yr old from pointing out the emperor had no clothes and b) how utterly abhorrent it was for the FA to investigate and impose a ban. What incredible misogyny.

MrGHardy · 10/05/2025 22:55

tobee · 10/05/2025 08:42

I've just been reading this article about this on the BBC News app; more surprising to see it on the BBC than in The Telegraph:-

Footballer banned for trans comment wants FA apology www.bbc.com/sport/football/articles/ckgnwgnge4yo

Hopefully it's widely read.

However, it can now be revealed that in February, an FA appeal board found that Vaughan had received an "unfair" hearing, saying it was "concerned about fundamental aspects of this case".

It quashed the original ruling, and ordered a new process to take place.

Well that is at least something.

WithSilverBells · 10/05/2025 22:42

BeReet · 10/05/2025 15:21

I am also not Cerys but I am her Mum. We are very, very proud of her for speaking up. Thank you to everyone here on FWR for the support they have shown her, it has really helped her

I am so sorry Cerys had to go through this ordeal. It should never have happened and I am beyond disgusted with the FA. However, she has shown herself to be mature beyond her years and can be extremely proud of how she handled the whole situation.

SinnerBoy · 10/05/2025 22:23

BeReet · 10/05/2025 15:21

I am also not Cerys but I am her Mum. We are very, very proud of her for speaking up. Thank you to everyone here on FWR for the support they have shown her, it has really helped her

Will you pass on my admiration and best wishes? I'm so sorry that she's been forced to undergo this outrage, at the hands if a bullying mature man and his gang of enablers - the FA.

What a ridiculous and sorry situation that she and other girls and women have been forced into these situations, or otherwise been made to put up with pathetic, cheating attention seekers stroking their fragile egos.

Including the girls and women, who've lost their places, or given up, so that these cheating bastards could be pushed to the forefront.

Well done, Cerys!