Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

“Why aren’t you getting changed”. Man asks female Darlington nurse this 3 times in female changeroom

664 replies

CrocsNotDocs · 11/05/2025 06:47

More details re the Darlington nurses. I don’t know what to say. This is outrageous. Just fucking outrageous.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14698557/I-begged-bosses-not-let-trans-nurse-invaded-changing-room-intimate-operation-refused-didnt-want-hurt-feelings.html

OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
Shadowsunray · 11/05/2025 06:50

Very pleased this information is getting out to the public. The behaviour of the NHS has been disgraceful.

LivelyFinch · 11/05/2025 06:55

This is a man whom is blatantly a pervert and people, especially women, are supporting him. Shame on every single enabler of this entitled wanker.

Glitchymn1 · 11/05/2025 06:56

What a brave lady, that was hard to read.

Shame on the NHS.

CrocsNotDocs · 11/05/2025 06:57

Shame on politicians
Shame on the NHS as a whole
Shame on the line managers of these nurses- imagine having this creep run your re-education struggle session.
Shame on the union

Just disgusting.

OP posts:
PriOn1 · 11/05/2025 07:02

Devastating. Poor woman.

StellaAndCrow · 11/05/2025 07:03

"She tells me that last summer, after legal papers had been served and after The Mail on Sunday had broken the story of the Darlington nurses, Karen needed an urgent hysterectomy, after years of problems with endometriosis. It was to be carried out at the Darlington Memorial – where everyone involved worked – but just a few weeks before the procedure she discovered, to her horror, that Rose was scheduled to be on duty in the operating theatre on that day, and would be part of the surgical team.

‘It was a gynaecological procedure, and his role would have been down at that end, passing the consultant the tools,’ she says, incredulous. She immediately pointed out the obvious (as she thought) issue here. ‘I told them that because there was a legal dispute under way, involving Rose, it was a conflict of interest, and entirely inappropriate that he should be involved in my surgery, especially intimate surgery like that.

‘Separately, there was the issue of my childhood abuse. I made it clear that I wanted as few men in that room as possible. I was told, “Well, Rose is a woman so Rose has a right to be there”.

‘The theatre manager also said, “How would Rose feel if she was asked not to come to theatre?”.’

Karen was dumbstruck. ‘I said, “Frankly, and sorry to be blunt, but I don’t care how Rose feels”. It made no sense. Shifts are changed all the time. They didn’t even have to tell Rose a reason, if they were worried about that.’

Karen escalated her complaint, putting her concerns in writing. ‘And I got an email back saying that they could not accommodate my request [for Rose to be replaced]. They said they would cancel the operation, and I could go elsewhere. I couldn’t believe it. I needed that operation, and I’d been with my consultant for years. After everything, I felt I was being punished. I said, “I am asking this as a patient”, but they didn’t care.’"

Helleofabore · 11/05/2025 07:21

Thank you to Karen. There are no words that adequately describe what she has been through.

I am shocked that that NHS Trust would treat not only staff but patients in that way.

And I notice the common question ‘how do you think x feel’? When x is always the male person who should be the one respecting the needs of female people. Yet, apparently misogyny isn’t central to gender identity theory. And apparently it isn’t an ideology.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 11/05/2025 07:24

StellaAndCrow · 11/05/2025 07:03

"She tells me that last summer, after legal papers had been served and after The Mail on Sunday had broken the story of the Darlington nurses, Karen needed an urgent hysterectomy, after years of problems with endometriosis. It was to be carried out at the Darlington Memorial – where everyone involved worked – but just a few weeks before the procedure she discovered, to her horror, that Rose was scheduled to be on duty in the operating theatre on that day, and would be part of the surgical team.

‘It was a gynaecological procedure, and his role would have been down at that end, passing the consultant the tools,’ she says, incredulous. She immediately pointed out the obvious (as she thought) issue here. ‘I told them that because there was a legal dispute under way, involving Rose, it was a conflict of interest, and entirely inappropriate that he should be involved in my surgery, especially intimate surgery like that.

‘Separately, there was the issue of my childhood abuse. I made it clear that I wanted as few men in that room as possible. I was told, “Well, Rose is a woman so Rose has a right to be there”.

‘The theatre manager also said, “How would Rose feel if she was asked not to come to theatre?”.’

Karen was dumbstruck. ‘I said, “Frankly, and sorry to be blunt, but I don’t care how Rose feels”. It made no sense. Shifts are changed all the time. They didn’t even have to tell Rose a reason, if they were worried about that.’

Karen escalated her complaint, putting her concerns in writing. ‘And I got an email back saying that they could not accommodate my request [for Rose to be replaced]. They said they would cancel the operation, and I could go elsewhere. I couldn’t believe it. I needed that operation, and I’d been with my consultant for years. After everything, I felt I was being punished. I said, “I am asking this as a patient”, but they didn’t care.’"

What the actual fucking fuck.

Igmum · 11/05/2025 07:27

Thanks for posting Crocs. The ‘why aren’t you getting changed’ bit has been reported before but not the bit about the operation. That’s utterly appalling. How on earth could anyone have thought for a nanosecond that that was acceptable? Hopefully post SC judgement the managers are grovelling and writing cheques to these poor women.

YOLOPPL · 11/05/2025 07:35

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 11/05/2025 07:24

What the actual fucking fuck.

It's really sadistic

EdithStourton · 11/05/2025 07:36

That is utterly appalling. Karen is incredibly brave.

It's so obvious that the Trust's concern is for 'Rose'. Sod the actual women.

SparklyGlitterballs · 11/05/2025 07:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheaBrandt1 · 11/05/2025 07:38

Every “ally” should be made to read that.

Thats why we’re angry. Our presence is required as part of this either for validation or to be perved at. And we were not asked and do NOT consent.

Honestly there should be some sort of female medal system and every woman who put her head above the parapet to fight back on our behalf against this should get one.

tigger1001 · 11/05/2025 07:39

That was a hard read.

these poor nurses.

Rightsraptor · 11/05/2025 07:42

Almost inevitably there are a few stupid comments, but so very many supportive ones. I wonder if the HR departments etc ever read them? They'd probably just mutter 'bigots' and ignore though.

This is all so shocking and there's no reason now, post April 16th, for it to continue. Yet it does.

wantmorenow · 11/05/2025 07:42

Thank you Karen and @CrocsNotDocs for sharing. Shameful lack of safeguarding staff and patients from NHS. Streeting needs to step the fuck up now.

MrsOvertonsWindow · 11/05/2025 07:42

Thank you to Karen and the other brave Darlington nurses for exposing this charade in the NHS. Long overdue that senior people signing off on all this get the sack for promoting voyeurism and indecent exposure.

NotMeekNotObedient · 11/05/2025 07:43

Wow this is almost unbelievable. The poor women.

Sadly the only way this Supreme Court ruling is going to make things change is if cases are brought to court. I suspect we will need a lot. So many organisations are trying to stand with their existing 'trans inclusive' policies.

The thing that stands out most is time and time again no one cares about women's feelings - I guess we shouldn't be surprised it's always been that way.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 11/05/2025 07:46

"Long overdue that senior people signing off on all this get the sack for promoting voyeurism and indecent exposure"

This all day long!

Merrymouse · 11/05/2025 07:46

One of the similarities with the Fife case is the appalling management - irrespective of the issues involved.

Just the existence of the legal dispute should have prevented Rose from being involved with Karen’s healthcare.

Buffypaws · 11/05/2025 07:48

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 11/05/2025 07:24

What the actual fucking fuck.

Seriously I’ve been in this game for years but WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ

SugarPlumFairyCakes · 11/05/2025 07:51

Absolutely fuck off Darlington Trust. So angry and upset reading this. How dare they put this brave woman (and the other nurses) through this.

As a survivor of male abuse years ago in what should have been a single sex space, afraid to speak out at a charity workplace with full-on TRA's, handmaids, and no single sex spaces, I wish you all the best and hope that sanity prevails.

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 11/05/2025 07:52

It makes me completely understand how women patients are generally treated so poorly by our medical professionals when this is how they treat their staff.

Dismissive, misogynistic and disrespectful. Let’s centre the men at every possible opportunity. It bloody enrages me, that poor woman.

QuarterHorse · 11/05/2025 07:55

This is gross. Poor Karen, but what a brave women she is. I support her all the way. I am sick of hearing about bleating heart NHS and HR bods who have actively taken away women's rights, and continue to do so. But traumatising women like this is a whole new level. They deserve the push and the nurses deserve all the compensation they can get.

TheaBrandt1 · 11/05/2025 07:55

Found it moving the way the work colleagues are stepping up to support this lady. Wonder if they would have taken it this far if their colleague wasn’t so badly affected? They may have hated it but stoically put up with it which is the easier option in the current climate.