My 14 year old daughter has been sharing school changing rooms, including swimming, with a male. The school never told me, or her. What would you do?

Maybe this website could point you in the right direction. Your poor daughter, I thought being a teenager in the 90’s was hard but this generation, what a shit show.

sex-matters.org

Indecent exposure & Voyeurism

These are sex offences with indecent exposure being known as a gateway crime to more serious sexual offences (eg Wayne Couzens).
A school putting a teenage boy in a changing room with girls - or of course an adult male claiming to be a woman - is seeking to decriminalise these criminal offences. That's not the role of a school.

Long overdue that schools like this stopped enabling sex offences against girls. Sadly it's going to be publicity that stops all this.

utter nonsense, dangerous nonsense at that with no regard for safeguarding

you must be new here if you think you can shut us up by throwing out baseless accusations of “transphobia”. Women and girls are entitled to single sex services, spaces and sports.

Would you say it's safe to allow her to change in the boys changing room in full view of 40 odd 15/16 year old biological males? Would you be 100% certain that she was completely safe and would come to no harm?

She should change in a private space, away from the girls and the boys e.g. a disabled toilet or something.

Males who identify as transgirls remain male.

Females who identify as transboys remain female.

Schools have a legal obligation to provide single-sex toilet and changing facilities.

Fuck that. Males are male, females are female, and some magic words and feelings won't ever change that.

One reason we dads don't just "trust men" on this (especially adolescent men) is that we used to be one.

I think most adolescent men are trustworthy, mostly, but even mostly trustworthy young men do stupid things, and a significant minority of young men are not mostly trustworthy at all.

That's just the risk side. Privacy and principle and consent are sufficient alone, too.

My youngest has a trans boy (aka biological female) in his year group.

She has changed her first name to a japanese anime type name. It is not identifiably male.

She is very pretty and has always been one of the "girly" girls since being very little. She is 15 so she has a womanly body. She has shoulder length hair. There is absolutely nothing about her appearance that would suggest she is anything other than a girl. She still hangs around with the girls. She does wear leggings rather than skirts but a lot of them do since school is fairly relaxed about uniform.

Would you say it's safe to allow her to change in the boys changing room in full view of 40 odd 15/16 year old biological males? Would you be 100% certain that she was completely safe and would come to no harm?

Children should change in the changing room that accords with their biological sex.

this male is a decent kid, no trouble

That's as may be, but if a precedent is set that boys can change with the girls, then what happens when the next boy, who may not be decent or no trouble, wishes to do the same? A part of good Safeguarding practice involves treating everyone in the same way, irrespective of whether they are decent or not.

Your dd needs adults to step in to safeguard

Yes escalate

You probably know some of your daughter's friends' parents, so I'd suggest talking to them. Is there any kind of consensus that this thing is outrageous and needs to stop, or would you be a lone voice (and easier to ignore maybe, if you're a father rather than a mother)? And if the girls themselves had a chance to protest in a unified way, how many of them would?

Think of the "Darlington nurses" or Sandie Peggie up there in Fife, whose case is in front of a tribunal right now, with very much the same issue involved. These things affect adults just as much as children, and it's getting sorted out legally. That may be what has to happen.

Asking about safeguarding a biologically female teen is not transphobic.

Out of curiosity, what advice would you give to a trans teen girl to protect themselves against (men/boys) biologically male sexual predators?

Err no.

Trans boys are biological girls who would like to be viewed as boys
Trans girls are biological boys who would like to be viewed as girls.

The reality is that there are statistically few of them which is all the more reason why their "feelings" and their mental health issues ought not to be put above the legal rights and physical safety of the biological girls.

FML
It's not 2016 anymore.

is the perfect quote and I’m going to steal it

You don't need to apologise for your sex. You sound like a good dad who understands the dangers women face... we need more men like you on our side.

It's bloody ridiculous - if this lad got his cock out in the park the police could arrest him for indecent exposure, but because hes said the magic words, the poor girls forced to change with him are just supposed to lump it?

A penis is a penis is a penis - no matter what's going on between it's owners ears!

You can't make the girls fight for this - they are children. They need protecting by the adults in charge. Asking them to boycott puts them in the firing line for being called bigots and anti-trans....
As much as I agree with you - the kids can't sort this out! You would end up with girls having to face teenage boys in frocks with the power of the local authority behind them... not a fair fight.

Here you are OP - draft guidelines for schools - non statutory but not rescinded by the current government. Page 14:

"Schools have a statutory duty to have suitable washing and changing facilities for pupils aged 11 years and over. Schools must not allow a child, aged 11 years or older, to change or wash in front of a child of the opposite sex, nor should they be subject to a child of the opposite sex changing or washing in front of them."

consult.education.gov.uk/equalities-political-impartiality-anti-bullying-team/gender-questioning-children-proposed-guidance/supporting_documents/Gender%20Questioning%20Children%20%20nonstatutory%20guidance.pdf

AAAAAH more transphobia and right before the weekend! What a treat. Trans boys are boys, trans girls are girls. I would imagine that any trans kids would use a cubicle because other people can be right tw*ts.

As pp said, look at safe schools admittance and Sex Matters websites.

They are knowledgeable about the law and safeguarding and SSA have info on how to approach schools.

I would be asking to see the risk assessment!

a relevant thread on the topic of current school safeguarding policy

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4734820-nspcc-where-do-they-stand

Yes, and when they go on trips out of school

I live in Brighton & have 2 girls at school haven’t even heard of this. They’re in primary at the moment and don’t change as they wear PE kits into school, but am I right in thinking this suggests boys & girls of high school age change together? Because that is absolutely bonkers, I remember getting changed for swimming in high school and it was a shit show, some girls would steal others clothes or ping bras etc that is going to be so much worse if you add boys into the mix. I would feel so self conscious as a teen girl!