Tunnocks Thread 2

I urge you all to read the Wikipedia entry on the lowland streaked tenrec.
I'm half-wondering if somebody made it up for a laugh...

The Streaked tenrec will flaunt its quills to scare away any possible predators. When forced to engage another species it will use a rough headbutt in an attempt to immobilize its target.
The lowland streaked tenrec is active both during the day and at night. Its diet is made up primarily of earthworms, but it will sometimes prey on other invertebrates as well. It may be seen stamping its feet on the ground with its fore-paws, an adaptation which is believed to increase earthworm activity for easier foraging
The streaked tenrec has an ability to enter torpor seasonally. However, it is dependent on altitude, age, Tunnock fat stores, and temperature.
The occipital region in this species along with the visceral skeleton are commonly very conservative.
Lowland streaked tenrec - Wikipedia
So basically a lazy quill-flaunting, headbutting, foot-stamping Tory.
Maybe go for a hamster or a puppy instead?

There's a thread over on AIBU asking something like 'Does everybody on here hate men?', and whatever the number of positive responses were, I bet they've been at least halved by this Tunnock-positive idea from - good heavens - A Man.

That said, I'm not sure that a plastic container from a Chinese takeaway is quite grand enough for you Tunnock-worshippers, I imagine you keep yours in Fabergé boxes or jewelled caskets... wait a minute, I think that sentence went wrong at 'you keep yours...'

@Boiledbeetle !

Saw this and thought of you

x.com/BestOfDullMen/status/1788099729525461499

My support animal says it is in fact ALL of the above, it's identity is fluid.

Misremembered, the lowland streaked tenrec. Looks like Beetlejuice did a mash up of a shrew and a hedgehog.

Iirc I think one of them (solenodon) looks like an Everton mint. Although, that might be a tenrec. I'll check.

MarieDeGournay · Today 15:39

I'm sure there's a fund somewhere for buying test products, if I identify correctly..

Cripes! That's a big beastie! They live in Cuba and Hispaniola, according to the world's greatest dis information resource! Here's a Common Shrew for comparison!

There once was a venomous shrew
Who didn’t know what to do
She got given a cake ,
when she thought it was hake
and then had a bit of a to do

There once was a now reformed shrew
Who now knows what to do
When on a date,
Have a Tunnocks tea cake
And then have a romantic oo oo

Apparently the solenodons aren't shrews, but are shrew like. Both the living species are venomous.

There are venomous shrews, mind - three species definitely are and four possibly. One of the definites lives in the UK, but its bite cannot puncture the skin of humans. Which is a relief.

I'm sure there's a fund somewhere for buying test products, if I identify correctly..
Oh look, an update! somebody found a Tunnock, and fed it to my support venoumous shrew, and look at the result! It now identifies as a sweet cuddly shrew. And it said to say sorry for swearing at you earlier.
Tunnocks are clearly magic!
Now let's see... I just have to expand that statement in the style of Judith Butler to complete my thesis..

I'm going to Tesco later.

Solenodon always sounded to me like something found on a motherboard so it's perfect for MN.

However... Has the venomous shrew ever eaten a Tunnocks product?
I put that question to it, BoiledBeetle, and I'm sorry to say that it's response was
'Tell her it's none of her effing business, OK?'
I apologise - it identifies as a support animal but it's still working on the 'support' aspect of the 'support' aspect.

material not materil!

I'm thinking of doing a PhD on 'A corpus-assisted discourse analysis of Tunnocks on Mumsnet'.
I think I'm ideally suited to this, as I've never eaten one and have only seen pictures of them, so my research won't be influenced by things like facts, experience, or materil reality.

My pronouns are me/me/me.
My support animal is a Hispaniolan solenodon (Solenodon paradoxus) (venomous shrew).

Noticed this week that Tesco have price matched boxes of 6 tea cakes with Aldi.
Filled the trolley whilst was there, shame not to.

WOW!

We passed this lorry on the motorway recently - I really hope it contains just one, mahooosive Caramel wafer. If it doesn’t, it should.

Today I went to a spectacular farm shop place. They had everything.
So, I checked for the Tunnocks✅
I checked for the elusive Plain Chocolate Teacakes ✅
Then I looked at the price 😱
£1.99 for 6. I kid you not.