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Difficulty trying to conceive at 40

9 replies

Holmesj2 · 01/11/2026 17:01

I am going out of my mind, I turn 41 soon and me and my partner have been trying to conceive for almost a year to no avail. Initially I got positives with the blue line clear blue and even a digital one said 1-2 weeks, sadly my lines kept fading which resulted in what I now know as a chemical pregnancy. This month I have purchased the pink line advanced ultra early since I find the blue ones give false positives, and after reading forums several people agree. I am due on in a couple days, I ovulated late evening on the 18th of October, I know this since I did a test in the morning which was flashing rather than static smile. With my calculations I could have quite possibly ovulated on the 20th meaning I’m 11 dpo which according to ai could still be in for a chance. I had light spotting a few days ago but think I also had a tiny amount today, I am obviously thinking it’s my period. It’s just so frustrating, we have been waiting for our fertility clinic appointment for months and I can’t stop panicking about the fact I’m getting older. My whole family have all conceived normal and there is no early menopause. I had bloods which were good. I just want to know why it’s not happening. I’m a fit healthy individual my partner is 35 and his sample came back he had seriously high motility but below average morphology, apparently the high motility counteracts this? Anyway I guess they will explain at our appointment which is over a month away. In the meantime I have this deep agonising pain and I’m finding I don’t care about anything else anymore, I just want a baby but it’s not happening for me, I can’t express how painful it is each month, religiously testing and several months seeing lines to come to nothing. How are we supposed to deal with this alone? My partner unfortunately does not talk about these things much or he tries to brush it off, maybe he can’t deal either but don’t know so I do feel quite alone. Sorry just needed to let it out to people who might understand

OP posts:
ItsNotLoveActually · 01/11/2026 18:35

I actually had my DS at 41. I was never interested in having kids until I had a MMC (13wks) Then it was all I cared about. Long story short - I had all sorts of fertility tests, a myomectomy, tablets, injections and decided to try IVF. I was waiting for my 'schedule' appointment, I missed my period, I was pregnant. The whole process from MMC to my precious DC was around 2.5 yrs.

Holmesj2 · 01/11/2026 19:13

Thank you for your share and congratulations, it must have been hard going through an MMC, I always worry now if it actually happened and I did get pregnant I would be scared for MMC to happen. I am always envisaging being a mum and how it would be, I never imagined it to be this hard to conceive, and I keep worrying that I might be menopausal and perhaps I won’t get my period for that reason and not pregnancy. I feel different lately like my energy levels are lower and my libido has dropped, I’m not sure if it’s because of the stress of this tracking and failing each month or if my hormones are generally going through the change. I have been crying a lot also but mainly when I realise I am on my period again. I’m getting so obsessed with testing it’s tiring me out. I keep testing 6 days before with the early detection tests and always hoping they are wrong, i haven’t started my period yet but im due tomorrow and my test this morning was negative but then you hear this happens to other people and they are still pregnant, I don’t have any symptoms though. They say your boobs get sore but I don’t even notice that ever anyway, maybe my boobs are too small 🤣. I was hoping that would happen for us too and I would be pregnant before the appointment but it’s getting close now. Did they ever say if there was anything wrong when you went to the clinic to have the tests or did they just put it down to age? Also did you notice anything like your periods getting lighter? I think mine are but it’s hard to tell because I am an avid runner and was also on contraceptive pill for a long time about 2 years ago. I’ve even stopped my endurance exercise since people have said that could be a factor but it doesn’t seem to be making a difference and I’m taking vitamins including ubiquinol.

OP posts:
GrossedoutGertrude · Yesterday 05:33

Have you taken a pregnancy test?
the clearblue ovulation tests can actually show positive ( static smile ) when picking up HCG xx

GrossedoutGertrude · Yesterday 05:34

That was meant to say an early pregnancy test as you’re only 11DPO

Pinkponyclub26 · Yesterday 07:28

I’m also 41 and 3 years + ttc
i have also experienced a few light positive lines that faded so either faulty tests or chemicals.
just offering solidarity really- I’ve tried everything so now just going for the relaxed approach and if it happened it happened

TrackIt · Yesterday 07:28

GrossedoutGertrude · Yesterday 05:33

Have you taken a pregnancy test?
the clearblue ovulation tests can actually show positive ( static smile ) when picking up HCG xx

She said she used an early detection test the day before and it was negative

BabyBorn · Yesterday 11:35

Firstly I would stop all the testing and try and have a lot more of a relaxed approach. Obsessing and stressing will just prolong things. Have regular weekly intercourse.

Eat clean, drink lots of bone broth if you are not vegetarian or vegan take your prenatal vitamins and double your methylfolate. Try and do brisk walking rather than any strenuous exercise. Ubiquinol at around 400-600 mg a day.

I am 41 and have my 6 month old lying in my arms asleep.

Good Luck!🤞

Pinkponyclub26 · Yesterday 20:03

How long did it take you to conceive @BabyBorn ?

BabyBorn · Yesterday 21:15

@Pinkponyclub26 it took me a while as i was breastfeeding at the time. I did fall pregnant 3 times in that time but I think my hormones were out of sync because my prolactin was high.
Do you have any children at all?

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