I am going out of my mind, I turn 41 soon and me and my partner have been trying to conceive for almost a year to no avail. Initially I got positives with the blue line clear blue and even a digital one said 1-2 weeks, sadly my lines kept fading which resulted in what I now know as a chemical pregnancy. This month I have purchased the pink line advanced ultra early since I find the blue ones give false positives, and after reading forums several people agree. I am due on in a couple days, I ovulated late evening on the 18th of October, I know this since I did a test in the morning which was flashing rather than static smile. With my calculations I could have quite possibly ovulated on the 20th meaning I’m 11 dpo which according to ai could still be in for a chance. I had light spotting a few days ago but think I also had a tiny amount today, I am obviously thinking it’s my period. It’s just so frustrating, we have been waiting for our fertility clinic appointment for months and I can’t stop panicking about the fact I’m getting older. My whole family have all conceived normal and there is no early menopause. I had bloods which were good. I just want to know why it’s not happening. I’m a fit healthy individual my partner is 35 and his sample came back he had seriously high motility but below average morphology, apparently the high motility counteracts this? Anyway I guess they will explain at our appointment which is over a month away. In the meantime I have this deep agonising pain and I’m finding I don’t care about anything else anymore, I just want a baby but it’s not happening for me, I can’t express how painful it is each month, religiously testing and several months seeing lines to come to nothing. How are we supposed to deal with this alone? My partner unfortunately does not talk about these things much or he tries to brush it off, maybe he can’t deal either but don’t know so I do feel quite alone. Sorry just needed to let it out to people who might understand